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  • 1 Post By bmr_id

Thread: New Guy looking for change

  1. #1
    Willmatic is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default New Guy looking for change

    Hey yall, Willmatic here. Just signed up and thought I would tell you a little about myself and my current situation. I am very shy guy and I had most of my relationships online behind a computer because it was easy and convenient. I am not a bad looking guy, but I thought it to be to troublesome to go out and meet women when I can just sit at home and meet some over the internet. Though it sounds ridiculous, I had just got out of a long term relationship with a woman from Australia whom I never met, which I had gained feelings for over the course of 5 months.

    My friends say I'm crazy for even doing it, but I was in love with something I have never even touched. In the end I had gained nothing but a broken heart and I can still feel the pain as I know she has moved on with another online relationship. My close real life friend hooked me up with a female he knew in college, and so far that is going well as I am in the perfect zone of showing her that I am not needy, but her time with me is definitely not wasted when we do spend it together. I do feel that online relationships have made me able to better communicate with women, but to approach and show them that I am who I am is another beast of its own when I think about it. I have had some real relationships years back, where I learned when a woman stopped caring, and when things were irreparable. That hint right there tells the tale of how I can hook a woman with my confidence, but as time goes on, I put all my dreams and hopes in the first basket that is available to me, which ultimately makes them in control of me as I try to make them happy and give them what they want. I love too easily, and I always lose sight of what qualities I once had when I pulled them to me. I change, and I become a product of the relationship, not maintaining the product that got me the gig, which was being me at my best.


    I want variety, I want choices, I want to feel a warm body next to me when I wake up. I want to know that when I do choose to settle down, I have the right woman for me. The most painful lesson I have learned when it comes to women, is that you can create the most beautiful image of a mediocre one, but the reality of it, is that you are only hurting and lying to yourself when the canvas melts and their true nature appears.


    I want to be proactive with my love life, not reactive.

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: New Guy looking for change

    Is it an "online relationship", or an actual, real-life relationship; but you originally met her online?

    There's a huge difference!

    If the whole thing is just written correspondence over email/chat/text etc... then you have a "pen-pal".


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    Willmatic is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: New Guy looking for change

    We did the skype thing, voice and camera. But yeah we never met offline.

  4. #4
    Willmatic is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: New Guy looking for change

    So thought I would put an update since the whole breakup thing. I did No contact and broke it after 10 days, saw the chick's true colors as she instantly showed she wasn't interested in me anymore. Though we had a conversation it felt more business like than anything else. Though this reopened the bandaid a bit, it was a sobering realization that ultimately propelled me to do what was to come next. I think texting, messaging is a great tool to learn how to conversate with women, at least what words to say. I read about half "The Game" on my lonely nights so far as concepts were introduced to me. I can't say I have absorbed half the material yet to where it's natural, but I did use a few key points this past week when I made encounters with women I have been friendly with before.
    -Posture
    - Cool tone of Voice
    - Not giving a ****

    This alone had worked wonders on these 3 girls I had known. IOIs are becoming more obvious now, and AFC behavior is easy to see in others (though It's sometimes harder to see it in yourself). My style thus far is very light on the negs unless they leave themselves open to me. For example a woman asked me to tell her something nice after I busted her balls for the openings in her conversation. I replied "A gentle breeze blowing across the beach front." She ate it up and I kept her laughing. I find I am good at using quick wit to unbalance them at times. I give compliments, but not on their looks. A little flattery in that department seems to tip the scale a tad bit to keep the negging and ball busting from hitting the bottom and outright becoming an a%$hole. I have done epic lucky k-closes in the past, but only when I am borderline buzzed/drunk. Maybe it's because I don't care at that stage and I am naturally a very charismatic person. aa will be my big barrier, and my image as I am currently going to the gym to shed some pounds. I have a date with a college friend at my house for movie night and the attraction is confirmed, the question is, "How will I close that night?"

    At this point, being open and carefree with women after the comfort stage seems a bit natural to me once they know I am not a creep. Filling in the spaces before and after that I think will be another beast to work on. But for now, I am going to take this minor victory and build upon it.

  5. #5
    bmr_id's Avatar
    bmr_id is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: New Guy looking for change

    well didnt knew you could have online relatioships. Didnt even knew we could fall in love with someone we didnt even met. Just to say welcome, that there is a hope, a very big one. In one year of practice its just point and shoot. One thing, dont ever listen to girls dating advice. They always say they want nice guys but nice guys are spending money they earned with their worked while a player is farking the ones they love. The cure: magic bullets by savoy, Tao Of Badass by alex matlock, how to become a natural by richard laruina and the basic, mystery method.

  6. #6
    Willmatic is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: New Guy looking for change

    Thanks man! I will get these and add them to my library. And about the online relationship and falling in love.. When you don't have human interaction like that in real life, your mind and heart will go above and beyond to what it needs...

  7. #7
    AztecHawk is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: New Guy looking for change

    Welcome!! i'm also new here but there's a whole community willing to grow every single individual in here

  8. #8
    lowesick is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: New Guy looking for change

    romantic feelings do come in, even without meeting each other in real life.. i have also experienced it.. but its not love.. its just a romantic bubble that you create around you.. and start living in it.. and when you meet in real life.. and see each other as their all good bad habits.. the bubble slowly starts to shatter.. you can fall in love with someone, whom you've never met, but you can't create an everlasting relationship with them!!! love and creating a relationship are two different things!! so get out of online world.. and meet people in real life.. and keep hoping high!!


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