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  1. #1
    Viller is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default AFC Seeks Change - Intro + Help with Potential Date

    Hey y'all.
    I'm Viller.
    I am a sophomore in college at a small conservative school.

    I haven't always been a confident person; growing up I struggled with shyness. I broke out of this shell, mostly through forcing myself to be extremely out going and make friends. I have very high confidence, for I have been able to achieve many of my dreams so far.

    I've always felt extremely confident around girls, talking to them, meeting them, etc.
    Being at a small conservative school kinda put me out of the game, as there are not many girls to choose from. NOT AN EXCUSE. Which is why I am posting here...

    Found this forum and decided to post after this happened to me...

    I have a banquet coming up and need to find a date. Had a few potentials, but decided I wanted to improve on my AFC state and ask a random girl to go with me.
    ____________________ ____________________ ____________________ _____
    SCENARIO 1

    Found girl sitting at a table and approached.

    ME: (puts hands on chair in front of me) hello there. My name is Viller.
    (Sits down and reaches hand out to shake) its nice to meet you.

    HB9: Hi, nice to meet you I'm blah blah blah.

    ME: Listen so I have this banquet coming up. I know we just met, but I was wondering if you'd be willing to join me?

    HB9: Awh, thanks for asking. *Reaches and grabs my arm*
    I'd love to go with you, but I have a boyfriend, and he really wouldn't appreciate that.

    This is where I screwed up...

    She became really talkative and friendly, and I was so upset that she had a boyfriend that I kinda shut down. Small talk fades out.

    ME: Well, it was really nice to meet you *her name*
    HB9: It was nice to meet you too, good luck!

    --------------------------------------------------
    Looking back on this experience, my body language was very confident, ( I had a mate watching me to assess my body language) but I did not FEEL confident. This is because I still have slight aa -- AFC. My words, while seemingly smooth, did not necessarily feel nature. Maybe this is just a side-effect of AA?

    Also, could have done more small talk, build rapport before asking her to go with me. I think in the end, she still would have said no because of her boyfriend, but at least coming out I would have felt more confident.

    Any Thoughts?

    ____________________ ____________________ ____________________
    SCENARIO 2

    Approach HB8 in cafeteria line. I had terrible AA so I forced myself to go for it. I was extremely nervous. I think she could tell. Only one way to get better.

    ME: Hello, my name is Viller.
    HB8: Hi, i'm Ali.

    ME: So I'm on the FB team and have this banquet coming up. I was wondering if you'd be willing to go with me.
    HB8: *Smiles* ooh when is it?

    Blah blah.

    Her: Well, I'm not really sure if I'll be able to go, I'd have to get back to you.
    Me: Okay, well let me get your number.

    I reached to pull out my phone.. this has never ever happened to me before. My whole body started shaking uncontrollably. I had previously done a really heavy full body lift, so my legs were actually twitching from soreness. I've never felt that way before. I just wanted to get out of the situation. SO AFC. But, I got her number, meaning I am still in control. After I got her number, I shook her hand and and with straight eye contact (trying my best to recover myself) said "It was really nice to meet you *insert her name*, I'll get back to you soon."

    ____________________ ___

    Conquering AA one approach at a time. For some reason I only have AA with girls at my school. If I meet girls at concerts, parties, etc. I'm totally fine... Any thoughts? Looking forward to stepping up my game, because I hated that feeling... and I love the feeling being confident. Maybe I just had a rough day.

  2. #2
    Mater is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: AFC Seeks Change - Intro + Help with Potential Date

    Approach Anxiety is always greater on your home turf. If you approach a girl at a concert and make a fool of yourself and she tells her social circle you are just some random guy. At your school her social circle is your social circle. You are concerned about your reputation there. Nothing wrong with that. Remember 2 things:
    1. If you are just you and are not trying a cheesy line or other BS then she will not gossip about you.

    2. This is only your social circle for another year. A drop in the bucket in the grand scheme of things don't you think?

  3. #3
    Viller is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: AFC Seeks Change - Intro + Help with Potential Date

    Thank you for the reply..

    I think you hit the nail on the head! I never really thought of it that way, well I did but in my subconscious. Thank you for pointing that out. I think just acknowledging that fact and combating my subconscious negative thinking pattern within my immediate social circle will provide breakthru.


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