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  • 1 Post By Shadowcomplex

Thread: Need help with co worker

  1. #1
    Shadowcomplex is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Need help with co worker

    Basically theres this girl I work with that I cant stop thinking about,its driving me crazy. She started about 6 months ago and whilst I thought she was cute at the time, I wasnt head over heels because looks wise shes only about*a 7 but in the last few months she has really grown on me so much so that I think I love her,I'm almost sure she's single as well but I don't think I have a chance with her because we work together and also because I'm quite overweight, my feelings for her has led me to become quite obsessive about losing weight, I've lost 20lbs in a month but I still have a fair bit to go.It doesn't happen often but I really hate it when I fall for someone and not being able to do anything about it, the one good thing is that we text each other alot, like almost every night but it's mainly work related stuff, perhaps I've fallen for her so fast because I haven't had much success with girls down through the years and I'm a bit emotionally immature, I could ask her out I suppose but it would be fair awkward being in the same work enviroment if she said no and she would surely tell other people, it's a non starter anyway because i need to love myself before I would be confident enough to ask her out.It must be obvious to her that I fancy her when I'm in conversation with her, girls are very good at picking up the signs, anyway the one positive that can be taken from all this is that I'm so determined to get in shape
    *
    would appreciate any advice
    *
    thanks

  2. #2
    Mater is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need help with co worker

    I have had a crush on a co-worker before. I dont let myself go there anymore. I don't know what kind of job you have but workplace romances can get ugly. If there are open displays of affection at work it is AWKWARD for everyone else. Ive seen people fired for such behavior. If the romance falls apart and let's face it, odds are it will at some point, then this creates a divide where other co-workers are expected to choose sides. I've been in the middle of that and that sucked too. Unless you are prepared to alienate other co-workers and lose your job for her I say keep loosing weight, work on your PUA skills and forget about her.

    I have a personal policy that I do not date friends, neighbors, or co-workers or their wives (including ex's), daughters, sisters, or mothers. I live in a small town and am active in government and civic organizations and would not date anyone that lives in a 10 mile radius of my town. I don't want to fark up the lives of those around me.
    Last edited by Mater; 12-16-2012 at 09:19 AM. Reason: Spelling

  3. #3
    YOKiTran's Avatar
    YOKiTran is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with co worker

    @Shadow

    ok - my ORIGINAL post to u was super long and i realized something.

    u r a mess. i was handing u baby step by step instruction in my orig. post, but it doesn't seem like u know much yet --- which is ok --- gotta start somewhere, right.?

    PRO
    --// she seems to like u, as u guys talk abt work in a non-prof manner.
    --// u've built a reliable image with her since u've doing this for 6.mths

    CON
    --// 1) ur self image is wrong. YOU ARE THE MAN
    -- search forum for guides on improving ur self-image
    --// 2) ur rapport has not gotten u anything
    -- search forums on PUA techniques

    Quick Fix while u study
    --// 1) stop being fixed on her. she is NOT the ONE, just an option.
    --// 2) she's maybe a 7... but u must believe that ur a 9
    --// 3) be upbeat/funny and leave the conversation on high notes

    u have a lot to do... the new u starts today. go study.!

    GL

  4. #4
    Navahoben is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with co worker

    There's no shame in dating your coworker. I have done it before, but the both of you need to know the consequence and figure away to avoid them. It also depends on her personality. Never ended bad for me except for one girl I dated. Half way through our relationship I found her bipolar medication and when she found out that I knew her bipolar reared its ugly head. When we broke up she went off the deep end. She hated me for the longest time probably still does. As for the division of coworkers she tried to do that. I worked with my best friend and when he tried to ask her for something she said why don't you go ask your little brother. He told her "because you two aren't cool your aren't goin to be cool with me?" That quickly put an end to that. So you need strong friends and you need to trust your friends too. Another time I was talking to guest and she was laughing at the way I was speaking to them but the manager was also listening to me and said to her that she loves the way I talk to guest. So just do your job the best you can and never let her make your work suffer. You'll do just fine. That my advice if things go south.

  5. #5
    Shadowcomplex is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need help with co worker

    I definitely think I have a connection with this girl and I think I have a better chance to get her than before , I have thought back on our interactions together and and she has touched me numerous times on the small of my back , touched me on my hand , touched my arm , used my shoulder to rest on whilst I was sitting down and also gave me a massive hug before we parted fitter the Xmas hols , she has also twice been quite emotional being on the verge of tears talking to me about stuff that was upsetting her about work , lastly she had instigated texting me 3 times since the Xmas hols , perhaps I'm in the dreaded friend zone

  6. #6
    Shadowcomplex is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need help with co worker

    Would appreciate opinions on my last post


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