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  1. #1
    Iamtallguy is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Confusing Love story, Need advice!

    Hey Guys! This is a very long story and quite confusing!

    I met a girl, I will call her "X" through this whole story. I met her last year and we hung out a lot, I thought she was cute and nothing more. Overtime we spent more and more time together where about 5 times a week we were together. I was only looking to get laid at the time and had absolutely no feelings for her.

    Eventually I told her I want to step it up to a sexual level but she didn't, I assume that she wasn't ready because to this day she is still a virgin. Shortly after that happened we stopped talking. We haven't spoken in many 8 months and then I write to her out of the blue because she was still in my head. She was becoming special to me and I felt it for the first time.

    She was very eager to talk to me and we met a week later, she was bombarding me with text messages and skype video chat. I felt that the old times were back and I really hoped that she felt the same way for me. It is about 2 weeks after we began speaking about that she told me she used to be crazy about me but she gave me 0 signs - and to be honest I wasn't very experienced to read of them either..

    She was constantly telling me how she misses me, complementing on my looks and worrying about me whenever anything happens to me.

    Eventually I developed strong feelings and fell in love with her. The feeling was so strong that it messed up my daily regime. I am a disciplined person by nature and a bodybuilder. I couldn't sleep at night, overtime I couldn't eat anymore and I lost 8 kgs of muscle in 2 months which was extremely devastating.
    I became emotionally sensitive and I cared about everything she did. And I cried almost everyday it was uncontrollable I don't even know why. To sum it up it was the hardest emotional state I have ever gone through.

    I told her about how I felt towards her and she said she had no feelings for me. I was crushed pretty badly. But I understood that I had to move on.

    What is confusing is why would she tell me all these kind things. She said that when I go on a trip (I was going to Australia), I better call her or she will be upset. All those text messages about wanting to see me again and go on a date. All these video conversations up to 5 hours at a time. It just doesn't make sense. To me this sounds like someone who is interested in you. Let's move on.

    I haven't spoken to her in 10 days, last time I simply wished her a happy birthday. I was at my friends place today, he is her cousin we can call him "J". So while I was at his place he said that "X"s mom will come over. Not a problem that won't bother us. After we had dinner it was about 8 pm. "X" send me a text message asking me about why I am at "J"s place. That got me thinking in how in the world does she know I'm there. So I ask him if he told her and he didn't. That means that her mom texted her that I am there.
    Then "X" tells me "to be honest I should have been there as well but I didn't come". I playfully tell her to come over them. About 30 minutes later she says: " Damn it! Why didn't you tell me that you were going there!? " So she is implying to she wants to see me? Later that day she wrote to me again in such a playful manner and called me "pupsik" which in russian is like sexy/honey. (We are russian btw).

    So out of all this how the hell does this make sense, she told me she has no feelings for me, why just why would she start writing to me so aggressively? It doesn't make sense to me.

    I am restraining my feelings hard right now. I pretty much put them in a dark box and I won't take them out anytime soon.

    Please share your thoughts I will appreciate any advice.

  2. #2
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
    I.M.Mortal is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Confusing Love story, Need advice!

    With all due respect, like so many other posts I am seeing, this sounds more like something that belongs to a "Dear Abby" column, rather than belonging in a Pick Up Artist forum. This sounds more of a relationship issue rather than a PUA thing.

    There's not much we can do here for anyone who is love-stricken with one-itis, unless they are willing to help themselves and make certain lifestyle changes and be resistant to one-itis. Change has to come from deep within and no forum advice can suffice.

    The harsh truth. You, a regimented discipline russian bodybuilder got broken down by a woman. A PUA will tell you, you got Pussy-whipped and you are being played by a woman. You are a burly guy but probably a nice guy who got hit in the soft spot. You need to start by rediscovering your manhood by going out with other women. Read up on some online resources and self motivate yourself into taking control of your masculinity and cultivate your alpha so you don't succumb to female mind games. You are a bodybuilder, it takes intense discipline to be one, so I know you have what it takes to make certain changes.

    When you are ready to go out with other women, that's when we are ready for you.

  3. #3
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Confusing Love story, Need advice!

    I think you're hung up too much on her words. I know it's a cliché, but actions do speak louder than words. It's been proven that our ancestors lived for almost 2 million years in organized tribes....without words. (Just to give you perspective on how much more powerful actions are than words.)

    So obviously she has some kind of feelings for you. But attraction is not usually static. It's like a fire that needs to be fed. The difference between fire and attraction is that if you feed it too much you can actually kill it.

    So if a woman knows she completely has you (especially before you have had sex with her) you are no longer a challenge and you risk her focusing on someone else who is more challenging. Whether she actually found someone else or not during the time you didn't speak doesn't matter. What matters is that you reignite that attraction again. Become her Rubiks cube. A puzzle she wants to solve, but never can quite get the full solution.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  4. #4
    TopFilichino is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Confusing Love story, Need advice!

    In all honesty when I read this story I just wanted to know if you get a target even if they know you well. Like say a target you've known for 1-2 years and you finally decide to engage the target. Does PUA tactics still work?

  5. #5
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confusing Love story, Need advice!

    Quote Originally Posted by TopFilichino View Post
    In all honesty when I read this story I just wanted to know if you get a target even if they know you well. Like say a target you've known for 1-2 years and you finally decide to engage the target. Does PUA tactics still work?
    Yes you can. It just requires slightly different tactics.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  6. #6
    TopFilichino is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Confusing Love story, Need advice!

    What tactics do you think should be changed/ altered? (Sorry for all the questions I'm literally brand new at this.)

  7. #7
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confusing Love story, Need advice!

    Quote Originally Posted by TopFilichino View Post
    What tactics do you think should be changed/ altered? (Sorry for all the questions I'm literally brand new at this.)

    I think that deserves it's own post. Once you make one you'll be able to get everyone's opinion on the matter. There's some great advice on the subject.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  8. #8
    Iamtallguy is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Confusing Love story, Need advice!

    Hi everyone!

    Thanks for the advice. If you want to know a bit more about me. I used to be a bad boy and get all the girls I want until I met her. Something did hit me in the soft spot your right. Maybe love is my soft spot. So I posted here to see if you PUA masters can help me out a bit with "love pua".

    Mind that I do have PUA experience when it comes to women but not love its something different

  9. #9
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confusing Love story, Need advice!

    Quote Originally Posted by Iamtallguy View Post
    Hi everyone!

    Thanks for the advice. If you want to know a bit more about me. I used to be a bad boy and get all the girls I want until I met her. Something did hit me in the soft spot your right. Maybe love is my soft spot. So I posted here to see if you PUA masters can help me out a bit with "love pua".

    Mind that I do have PUA experience when it comes to women but not love its something different

    I can agree with that. There are some PUA tactics that you can still use in a relationship, but there are some things you must do that PUA is COMPLETELY against in some cases. Like actually telling her that you miss her once in awhile.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."


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