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Thread: Help with girl on my Music course

  1. #1
    Szabo is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Help with girl on my Music course

    Hi people,

    I'm new to this and new to game so please bare with me if I sound noobish...Everyone had to start somewhere.

    So there is this girl on my music course at university. She's cute and Greek (HB 7.5), her name is Karissa, and very passionate (firey), so she tells me.

    We have been talking for ages on Facebook, probably since last year, around about summertime. I think she instigated conversation, can't really remember, but I got a vibe that she was interested in me but sadly at the time, I had absolutely no interest in her whatsoever. Then we didn't talk all summer.

    I realised that I was getting quite attracted to her at the beginning of this year. Still, this was before I learnt anything about game. We chatted on fb chat a lot and texted, and she always replied to the messages. Then we stopped for a bit because I kind of lost interest again/forgot to message her. After all, she can message me, right?!

    Then I bumped into her again at a night out (deep house music) a few weeks later. I was absolutely buzzing (insert name of narcotic, I'm sure you can guess) and she was a bit tipsy. I was talking to another girl, HB 8, who commented that I 'look good, by the way' while squeezing my bicep. (I work out, and was wearing a wife beater). I saw Karissa across the room and she saw me with my arm around the waste of this HB 8 and smiled at me. I waved at her, dismissed the HB 8 who was boring me, saying I'd see her later, to which she looked quite upset by, and headed outside for a cigarette. When I came back I said hi to Karissa and we danced all night. I had limitless energy and she was also dancing sexy. She didn't hesitate to grind up against me and feel my arms. At one point she told me to take my vest off. I said no, but she insisted, so I replied with 'YOU take it off then', not really thinking she would do it. She did it. It was hot and sweaty and we danced for so long and were face to face in between bumping and grinding. I tried to kiss her but she told me that I was high. At the end of the night we agreed to meet for out 'long overdue' coffee. I said Thursday. She said that was cool. We were both very busy at the end of the term because of deadlines etc. We parted ways, her with her friends, me with mine.

    We never met for that coffee on Thursday. She texted me saying let's do Friday, to which I agreed but said I was very busy and gave her a time. She agreed. I texted her a couple of hours beforehand on the Friday, and had no reply. Texted her again, no reply. I was not a happy bunny. She comes online on Facebook (I happen to be online) and tells me she's so sorry but her phone has totally broken. I didn't know what to believe, but thought I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. Turns out her phone actually had broken, so it was a good thing I didn't get paranoid.

    Over Christmas we spoke quite a bit on Facebook, with me instigating the conversation almost every time. I was abroad visiting family, in a tiny town with nothing to do, and just a huge essay looming over me and noticed she was online a lot and so decided to chat to her. In hindsight this was probably a bit mistake. It was also on that time abroad that I started to learn about game and acting more alpha.

    I sent her a text when I'd been back a university a few days saying 'Hey Karissa, are you coming to [insert name of night] on 15th? Should be good, bring your friends'

    Her 'Hello!! I'm so sorry I changed my phone and I lost all my numbers!! Who is this?!'

    Me 'It's Szabo'

    Her 'Omg Szabo I'm so sorry!! How r u?'

    Me 'I'm fine thanks, how are you?'

    Her 'Good good!! R u going to the rave?'

    Me 'I ain't heard nothin' bout no rave!'

    Her 'The one u sent me!!'

    Me 'Oh yeah [insert name of night]! Hell yeah!! Are you coming to {insert name of different night} before that on 15th? That's also gonna be awesome

    Her 'I want to go to the London one' (the first night in the last text that is out of town)

    Me 'Haha okay but what's stopping u going to both? Those nights in (club) are really good! Although nothing compared to London of course'

    Her 'I will see about the one this week it sounds nice!! Do we need tickets for London?'

    Me 'Yes i think they're 15. Ill send you the link when I'm by my computer. Why do we only ever talk through electronic devices, Karissa? We need to have a coffee because I dunno about u but I'm not a fan of impersonal communication

    Her 'Hey don't be like thaaaat we'll go for a coffee this week wesaid tha and u only came in York three days ago!!'

    Four hours later I text back: 'Just sent you the link for London it's on your facebook. Let's grab one on Monday so i have time to convince you to come to the [night on 15th] and give you fomo.

    *No reply*

    I should note that all these messages had large time gaps in between. It is rare that either of us will text back straight away. Usually takes us a couple of hours or longer. I'm not a fan of texting really so I rarely reply straight away to anything, including on facebook which by the way I no longer go on often because I'm sick of it and it's a waste of time. I limit myself to twice a day only after reading about being more alpha.

    I see her four days later around the department and she says 'Hey I was expecting a call from you on Monday about a coffee?'

    I reply that I didn't know we were having one because she didn't confirm my text. She said Sunday, I agreed and set a time. 2-4. Great.

    We meet on Sunday. All goes really well, we get on so well anyway and we have a lot to talk about. I try to act alpha and slightly aloof, and escalate Kino very gradually as she was showing me all signs of attraction (scratching the wrist, touching hair, touching/scratching face). She doesn't seem too comfortable with my escalation so I stop for a bit. But occasionally hug her or whatever when she says something cute.

    We walk back and we part ways. I would have gone in for the kiss but she doesn't seem comfortable. She says 'hug' in a friendly way and I give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek anyway. She says 'how sweet'

    I think I just got LJBF'd

    Sorry about the essay guys but if you could give any more tips of how to get this girl then please share your wisdom! I have another girl I'm also texting a lot so I need to know if I've still got a chance with this one before I try and get with the other one. I prefer this one, as we have way more in common and she's awesome fun.

    Thanks in advance

  2. #2
    hyp
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    Cool Re: Help with girl on my Music course

    Then we stopped for a bit because I kind of lost interest again/forgot to message her. After all, she can message me, right?!
    well yeah she CAN message you, she sounds like the initiator, when that happens to me a lot i feel like they're bugging me and get bored so my advice message her sometimes too


    I tried to kiss her but she told me that I was high.
    "one now and one tomorrow" i mean dude she was grinding on you that's physical attraction / teasing


    We never met for that coffee on Thursday.
    given that she appeared on fb at some stage, she could've appeared on fb alot earlier to arrange a meet or whatever don't let that slap
    there's chicks who think in the moment it's an awesome idea and then don't want to go on the day just fyi



    Why do we only ever talk through electronic devices, Karissa? We need to have a coffee because I dunno about u but I'm not a fan of impersonal communication

    Her 'Hey don't be like thaaaat we'll go for a coffee this week wesaid tha and u only came in York three days ago!!'
    some would say this is beta, i would say it's borderline because you're stating your intentions and want to meet up rather than hide behind a screen, respect though

    Let's grab one on Monday so i have time to convince you to come to the [night on 15th] and give you fomo.
    ummmm...no ...that's putting you in a weak frame, why should you even need to convince her to come with you, just let her know she's going to miss out 100% or give her no choice as "we're going to the rave, get ur sh1t ready" whatever you wanna say for the second part

    I should note that all these messages had large time gaps in between.

    doesn't mean anything, im always busy and even if i see the instant reply, ill get to it a few hours later cause i'm not gonna linger on fb


    overall your Kino sunday meet was fine, i don't think you were alpha though or acting it, she said hug, you should've stood where you were and pointed to your cheek (her to kiss it)
    and once she complied then hug

    I think I just got LJBF'd
    not yet, there's probably one more straw left and that's where you need to grow a pair of balls, and execute one of the kiss closes after a lot of kino and playfulness/flirting (search button is good for this)

    i really should get back to my uni presentation for tomorrow -_-

  3. #3
    Szabo is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Help with girl on my Music course

    overall your Kino sunday meet was fine, i don't think you were alpha though or acting it, she said hug, you should've stood where you were and pointed to your cheek (her to kiss it)
    and once she complied then hug

    Okay so I saw her the other day around the department. Said hi and stood put, didn't lean in at all, and pointed to my cheek. She kissed my cheek and I felt like the don. Then we spoke about the rave on 1st and I can't remember the exact details now but I was quite aloof and distracted...And I probably don't remember because I actually WAS aloof and distracted and had adopted the 'I don't give a fark' attitude.

    We spoke about the rave a bit and she asked me to send her the train times and I agreed to when I got time. When we said goodbye I pointed to my cheek again and she kissed it, and then she pointed to hers. I wasn't sure whether it would have been AFC to kiss it, so I hesitated a bit before kissing it. I should have probably blown a raspberry or something on her cheek to show a lack of compliance. Was I acting alpha by kissing her back?


    I couldn't be jaffed to send her a long message either on facebook or by text to talk about dropping and my house afterwards and various other naughty activities that me and my friends had planned. I rang her on the way to the gym but she didn't pick up. Got a missed call from her in the gym because there is no way in hell I'm going to let some girl interrupt my workout. Gave her a call back after the gym but she didn't pick up again. I left it.

    She sent a text later saying 'Hey I was at a friend's sorry I missed ur call!

    I didn't reply but thought I'd just send her a long message tomorrow, while I was in my 3 hour choir rehearsal, about train times, and various other things she might need, as well as inviting her and her friends back (with my friends) to my house for some sheesha (or hookah as Americans call it). I mentioned at the beginning of the text 'It's okay I couldn't be arsed to send a long text about London, and then was in the gym. I'm in choir now so it's not like I have anything better to do haha :P'

    Was this AFC? Should I not have explained why I rang and just left it and not messaged her?

    The rest of the text read very business-like and detached, as I was just trying to get the points down so I could organise.

    She sends a text back to my looong message saying only this: 'Can u get my friend some smokes? How much would it be?'

    This really p1ssed me off. What da actual fark? She's taking me for her beta b1tch. I tried to refrain from being too angry and send her a text later saying 'That was a nice reply to my text...'

    She replies with

    'Hey sorry I was out and my quite depressed/desperate friend texted that.. ^^ u know..! So, ok.. I think it's just me and another friend going because the others thought the ticket was expensive -.- so hope it's okay to join you guys... I don't think we'll need [...] ..

    She sent another text straight after: 'Btw r u going out tomorrow?'

    I haven't replied. I'm going to give her a couple of days no contact and work on some other girls instead.

    What do you guys think?

    I must note that I have never dealt nor will ever deal any substances that are illegal, nor have I ever facilitated the acquisition of any such illegal substances either directly or indirectly.

  4. #4
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help with girl on my Music course

    I must note that I have never dealt nor will ever deal any substances that are illegal, nor have I ever facilitated the acquisition of any such illegal substances either directly or indirectly.
    neither, just tell her straight out u dont do that? and u dont have ties to people who deal

    We spoke about the rave a bit and she asked me to send her the train times and I agreed to when I got time. When we said goodbye I pointed to my cheek again and she kissed it, and then she pointed to hers. I wasn't sure whether it would have been AFC to kiss it, so I hesitated a bit before kissing it. I should have probably blown a raspberry or something on her cheek to show a lack of compliance. Was I acting alpha by kissing her back?
    good stuff, apart from not hesitating - you should've pointed to your lips and and proceeded with the k-close

    Was this AFC? Should I not have explained why I rang and just left it and not messaged her?

    not necessarily, i would've just said haha i was away from the phone, (talk about whatever)

    i dont see a reason to freeze her out, i mean you're pissed off cause shes asking u about it, fqkn tell her you dont smoke and if she doesnt hang with you well fqck that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. #5
    Szabo is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Help with girl on my Music course

    I used to smoke a lot but I've really cut it down. She can jolly well get her own :P! I've only just started posting on here and don't know how rigid the privacy is with stuff like this?

  6. #6
    theEnchanter is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Help with girl on my Music course

    Dude !!!

    seriously, it is pretty obvious she likes you and is probably just waiting for you to make a move.

    Either that or she is a damn good teaser. She clearly displays a lot of interest by returning your calls, by replying to 'some' messages with quite a lot of investment(more words used in text). Maybe she just enjoys the attention from you or maybe she is evaluating her options(there may be other guys shooting for her).

    Whatever it is man, you want to be more 'alpha' !? Then first of all, stop giving a sh1t about what she is thinking. Her thinking changes faster than a lighting strike !

    This is what I think you should do, please note: even if you agree with me, go with your guts:
    She asked:"r u going out tommorow?"

    Dont push too much, be casual NOT ALOOF, she knows your interested(girls always know) but not how much interested? maybe she wants to see how far you'll go to get her. Whatever it is just make a damn move, don't say anything !

    Keep it non-verbal, entire body language should show interest, at the end of the night, build up sexual Tension by doing the triangular-gaze(lips to eye(l) to eye(r) to lips,2 secs at each point, this should be while she is talking) and then go for it .

    What's the worst that can happen? She rejects you? well deal with it.She may say "you r more like a friend" then tell her "fark that,I find you very sexually attractive, and I'd like to take you home and show you how much" (SAY it slowly, calmly, you don't have to use the exact words-just an example."

    OR She returns it back? Good for you ! You'll have your first 'aspiring pua-close'.

    Look I don't really know if I am right or wrong,(there is no really right or wrong when it comes to emotions and girls) It's all in the moment.

    just trying to help,

    theEnchanter

  7. #7
    Szabo is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Help with girl on my Music course

    Hey dude,

    So I did go out last night anyway, because my friends were all going out. She was texting me all night like 'when are you getting here?' etc etc. She rocks up with a friend and the music in the club is sh1t chart music, and I try to enjoy it but it is serious ballz. I dance anyway but am more interested in finding my friends. She dances up against me for a fair amount of time and then takes her friend and goes and sits down, without saying a word. My mate is there and he is totally drunk but I dance with him for a bit so I don't look like a total b1tch by following her. Her games p1ss me off significantly though. I go and find her, pick her up off the chair and caveman her against the wall, kissing her neck and moving up to her lips. She allows the kiss on neck but not the lips. I get the impression that she is just teasing me and has been all night.

    Due to that and a combination of bad music, I decide to find my friends. I go all around the club, which is packed almost to the point of not being able to move, and can't find them. I see her again and say I'm going home and do a kind of cut-throat movement to my neck to say I've really had enough of this sh1t.

    She doesn't think that I will go, and keeps holding my hand tighter and dragging me back, telling me to come and convince her friends to come to the London gig. I cba. I tell her I'll tell them if I get a kiss, and point to my lips. She kisses me on the cheek and tells me to come. I point to my lips again and reiterate the deal. She grabs my hand again saying 'I did kiss you' and i turn away and start walking off. I turn round and see her face looking shocked, but as if I wouldn't walk off. I waved to her.

    In the queue for my coat I did the easiest bit of game ever. There was a fairly cute 6.5 standing behind me in the queue and she b1tched for a bit about how long it was taking to get the coats. I agreed and she asked me what was wrong. I said that I didn't like it when girls thought they could mess me around and that I deserve better and that I was p1ssed off. Then I said if the situation wasn't different I would have said she was cute. Then I did some basic Kino, got her number in 3 minutes, and accompanied her back to hers in a taxi that was 'going to drop her off first at hers, then me at mine'.

    We had secks for 2 hours straight and didn't go to bed until 5 in the morning. My first aspiring PUA close. (full close anyway, there have been plenty of kiss closes and number closes)

    Got loads of texts from Karissa like 'where are you' etc. to which I replied to one saying 'I went home like I said.' Don't really know what to do about her now. Now I'm even more sure of the fact that I'm preselected, so she's going to have to stop taking me for a d1ckhead if she ever wants any of my secks.

  8. #8
    theEnchanter is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Help with girl on my Music course

    good job !!

    depends on you now. I mean, this is the part we say "Do you want to play the game?" or to put it more simply

    You can continue with the 6.5 cutie but if you want to improve and feel that if you close Karissa you will have accomplishes some improvement, read some guides about texting, trust me there's stuff out there that will show you how to get that "TeaseR" chick all ready to pounce on you.

    You don't even need to set up a date or take her out somewhere. You're way past that stage.

    theEnchanter

  9. #9
    Szabo is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Help with girl on my Music course

    I don't know if I can be assed with this girl anymore. Nor do I know if I can be assed with the 6.5 either. Maybe I'll fark the 6.5 again I'm not sure. Pretty sure Karissa can go and get screwed by someone else and I wouldn't give a flying fark to be honest... Shame, 'cos it could've been good, but she just played too many games. I'm also unsure of her status as an HB 7.5 and would probably say she is in fact a 6.5 - It was just my oneitis talking. Oh well. Onwards and upwards (as it were)!

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Help with girl on my Music course

    Hey Szabo,

    Couple pointers. The most effective closes are the ones that are done quick. You need to hotwire the girl's emotions, build a connection and ride it full throttle. You need it move it forward fast. Just like that close you did with the HB6.5

    In the case of the fb/text game with Karissa early on. Couple places where you erred. Most particularly your frame. If you are getting hurt over not getting a response, then time to look at your self-development. Part of your inner game should be, "okay, I got this girl's contact, what funny things can I come up with?" If you are expecting a response, then that will lead you down the wrong alley.

    Texting has revolutionized dating so work on your text game. Try not to sound so serious.

    Her 'Hello!! I'm so sorry I changed my phone and I lost all my numbers!! Who is this?!'
    Me 'It's Szabo'
    Her 'Omg Szabo I'm so sorry!! How r u?'
    Me 'I'm fine thanks, how are you?'
    Her 'Good good!! R u going to the rave?'
    Me 'I ain't heard nothin' bout no rave!'
    Her 'The one u sent me!!'

    This is straight out flat. There's no hook. The whole aspect of setting yourself up for attraction is adding value to a conversation text or in person. You add value by allowing a woman to experience an emotion in that moment, rather than something ordinary that she can have with her friends.

    Her 'Hello!! I'm so sorry I changed my phone and I lost all my numbers!! Who is this?!'
    You: "Yea, was wondering what's up. I actually lost weight during that time. I'm down to 450 lbs" OR
    "I'm that 5'2" hairy guy you professed your love too. I actually grew an inch since you took so long."

    Also, rather than getting pissed off, you should always redirect it into humor. So when she asks you
    'Can u get my friend some smokes? How much would it be?' Tell her, "Try the yellow pages."

    When she pointed to her cheek for you to kiss, I would've went for a kiss on her lips. If she recoils. You can recover by telling her "Oh I sorry forgot to tell you, I have a really bad aim. You think this is bad, you should see me in the men's room, I take up two urinals."

    Don't get pissed off at her games and let it get to your head. Some girls are cockteases and some girls tease because there's still doubt in their mind whether they want a guy or not. If she is truly attracted to you, then she wouldn't be teasing. She would be validating herself. Based on what you've described, there is interest on her behalf, but she is not all sold on you yet. That's why she is playing games.

    I think somewhere a step or component was missing. It sounded like a lack of conversation escalation to me from the texting game to the moment you cavemanned her against the wall. Something(s) missing in between. Somehow I don't seem all convince you communicated enough value to her. When you mix fun with an emotional connection and validating her through letting her feel that she is winning you over, you are adding more value than you can imagine.

    And when I mean value, it's defined by what you are bringing into the moment she is experiencing. Right now, just adopting an alpha shield doesn't do that. It's just the foundation for confidence. I've seen so many guys play this alpha male thing wrong.

    The way I see it is you got few choices.
    - Continue running game with this girl, but expect to make mistakes, learn from them and don't have expectations on an outcome.
    - All the while, go out with other women.
    - If you really like this one, do a Freeze Out, while going out with other women to brush up your game.

    And if it's a done deal then, hey, I like Greek women, pass 'em my way.


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