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Thread: Want to get a Girlfriend (in college) but I don't like people.

  1. #21
    SOUTH_FL_PUA is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Want to get a Girlfriend (in college) but I don't like people.

    Quote Originally Posted by lilsting View Post
    I already responded to you in your other thread. Go out and make approaches.

    1. Go out
    2. Have fun
    3. Make Approaches
    4. Make mistakes
    5. Learn from mistakes
    6. Get better
    7. Become a boss
    The hardest part AINEC.

    But seriously if you approach people confidently you will be surprised how receptive they are.
    For me it's one of those things like working out... it's hard to get the motivation to do it, but once I do I am really glad I did.

    And it really is hard for me to approach strangers (of both sexes) I basically have to run up without thinking about it otherwise I chicken out.

    I still can't do it 100% when I want to... someday thou.
    .-* WWWEEE *-.

  2. #22
    sinkalos's Avatar
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    Default Re: Want to get a Girlfriend (in college) but I don't like people.

    1 simple piece of advice. Do your homework in a hallway with lits of people and chairs. When I was in college there was a hall if flags. Tons of chairs and not a lot of noise si I could study but could also scope out the ladies. They usually weren't too stuck up to chat if they wanted to study there but it seemed I was the only person in the school to piece together that it was where the lonely people wanted to find mates. People got attracted to the area unknowingly because they were wanting to meet someone so no one acted on it. Also unless you find a gamer limit your video games and find a fun active hobby. Rick climbing, rafting, camping shooting cars anything that interests you and gets you out of the house. Even if no girls dig it they will dig your passion creativity and the fact that you have a hobby that isnt what they consider nerddom

  3. #23
    Ghost141's Avatar
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    Default Re: Want to get a Girlfriend (in college) but I don't like people.

    Hey dudes, I know it's been a while, and I have to say that I have changed my life a lot over the past couple months.

    Ever since the summer started, I have been going to EVERY social event I can, and have even rejoined my fraternity and I'm happy with the results. It began with me visiting a friend of mine at Michigan State University, and now we bar hop there every Friday! That of course lead to me getting opportunities to do tons of other things. This weekend I never set foot in my house!

    However my girl-skills have improved but I still can't quite get my conversations with girls to transfer to phone numbers and dates etc.

    I can talk to girls fine now because I've met so many people that it's not a big deal anymore. Just yesterday I went to a "going away" party for a guy I didn't even know and I only knew one guy there, and few minutes later I was laughing and chatting with strangers like they were old friends

    There was one girl who was really flashing ioi's at me and when I ended up talking to her the IOI's died down, however I didn't get her number because I never got a chance to get he one-on-one. Which is probably best because it would be weird if some dude I didn't know showed up at my party (it was only around 12 people) and started hitting on my female friends.

    Anyway I have met plenty of cute girls, but these events are social "meet-ups" not parties, so I can't take them upstairs to make out. Even I get IOI's I feel it's wrong to get her number when we're in a group of 5 people.

    However I know that these good impressions will pay off down the road when I see them again at school. I'm already running into girls that I've met before and I have little chit-chats with them, and so far they really enjoy my company.

    I have also learned some important things from my observations.
    1. Don't try to get with every girl I meet.
    Before whenever I came into contact with a cute girl socially I would think "aw man, stand up straight, don't stare, don't screw this up!" Now I simply introduce myself "Hi, I haven't met you yet my name is blah blah, how do you know so and so. This way the pressure is off, plus I'm gonna see them again so I can try to get her number etc then.

    2. A conversation is more about "feel" then "think".
    Before I was always in my head, now I focus on "staying in the moment". If I'm thinking what I'm gonna say then I'm not part of the conversation. Now I saw whatever thought first comes to mind. When I'm "in the moment, the words just come to me."

    I am fine tuning my social circle game and social skills but I'm not quite satisfied with the results.


    How do I use my growing social life to "get a girl" before the summer ends? (btw there aren't really many parties during the summer)

    I'm open to any an all input/advice.

  4. #24
    Ghost141's Avatar
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    Default Re: Want to get a Girlfriend (in college) but I don't like people.

    There are a couple of areas where people hang out and eat as well as study and socialize. How do I strike up a conversation with a girl there though?

    Btw there are plenty of girls who study alone at the library, but again how do I approach them? The only thing I can think of is asking if they have a spare pen, and then flipping to a different topic.

    (This a reply to Sinkalos)

  5. #25
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    Default Re: Want to get a Girlfriend (in college) but I don't like people.

    First off dude aside from what these guys are saying you should just stay living at home if u can. For real though I moved out when I was 16 an life has been hard ever since. It was never a constant stream of getting laid. It was the opposite. Moving back in now with my Mom and I just turned 30. My roomate is Gay and gets jealous and says I can't have a GF. I hate living by myself it's so lonely. But I had a co-worker who still lives with his Mom and he's 35. I know what online dating women say "They will never date a guy that lives with his Mom." Well so be it if they are that shallow who needs them anyway. No reason it can't happen at her place anyway. Besides it can't even happen at my place because my roommate said if he caught me he would kick the living snot out of her, doesn't want girls there, we don't have a hanging out type of place, and if I did bring a girl home he said they can't sit on the couch. He wants me to be Gay but I told him no 1000 times and because I got taken advantage of once and had a BF for one day before running for the hills he thinks I'll turn. So he won't let me do it but said I can hook up with girls at their place. Shoot I could do that living at home and at least they can meet my family since my roommate said he would never want to meet them. So essentially roommates suck, avoid them like the plague and only living with family until you can fully support yourself like got your car paid for, can put a down payment on a house, got a lot of savings, etc.

    This is why I advise against living by yourself because it sucks being so lonely all the time and hurts your game, but roomates hurt your game too. Take my advice don't move out unless you got mad money. Simply put roomates suck and will screw you over royally, my roommate is my best friend of 10 years but he treats me like dirt because we live together. Friends are better off friends bud not roommates. I know girls online and stuff say they like when you are independent but it's not worth breaking the bank for it. I broke the bank and no in serious financial disaster due to bad stuff happening like car wrecks, blown engines, job loss, unemployment, over spending, too much partying which costs a lot. So take it from me and be wise and wait. Your game should be good enough to maintain a GF while living at home even if you can't hook up there who cares? Like really better your family then a psycho roommate all up in your grill. Even if you had 10k saved and a good job don't count on it. I blew 5,000 in 2 months after I totalled my car and lost my job with all the car rentals and unforeseen circumstances. So now I am going to get out of my 20k in debt, pick up a second job, live at home, pay off my 3 year car loan, buy a new car cash down, and have like 50k saved before moving out again which should only take 5-7 years. So not a bad deal. I can't hook up with girls at my Mom's but I can hook up at their's or bring them over during the day time for us to hang out. Believe it or not this is a better situation since my family is supportive of me having a GF and my roommate is not. My roommate is against girls ever hanging out during the day and them even sitting on his couch. So yeah better way to go all around. But just a word to the wise I will still see my current roomate once a month since he is still my best friend and I love him dearly. So I will visit him once a month in the big city and get to do Night Game about once a month still and he will let me crash there. But again can't bring girls over so I will just have to cope with that I guess. Doesn't even matter since if I can get a girl I can get her and since most guys just hook up anyways who cares? So yes I won't lie to girls about it and if I meet a girl I really like and find a GF I won't be embarrassed about it or try to hide it. I love my family and if a girl cannot accept me wanting a healthier life living away from a controlling and jealous person then they can hit the road too. My roommate is still a good friend but I will not allow a woman to judge me for being 30 and living at home because I know my situation and they will have to just accept it or leave it. Besides why are so many girls against guys living at home with their Mom's or something? They give us guys huge beef for that and act like they want sex all the time at our Non-Mom populated homes, what do they take us for? I have told girls I have my own place online all the time and they never said "Wow! I want to jump your bones, sleep in your bed, and have sex everyday!" Just doesn't happen dude but these women act like it is so gosh darn important when in reality it's not.

    Some woman told me once it was absolutely terrible we were weren't next door neighbors just because I lived only 10 minutes away she was devasted! Literally devasted!! This Lawyer girl acted like we needed to be next door neighbors to be lovers. Also most women think like this that you need to have a certain something to be lovers, well recognize this and call women out on it since it is irrational. To prove this a girl I met last weekend said about me living 50 miles away in the next town over "That's really far." WTF? Are they so consumed by the romantic possibilities that you have to live so flipping close to each other? They act like they want u to live next door dude and be like roomates or something. I think women are programmed this way to want a man around constantly to feel secure like a love story or something silly like that. That's why they say that. Still trying to deal with how to handle the whole "I live 50 miles away thing." since frankly I don't care. I am confident enough to tell them but need to come up with a better way of framing it since I am always getting sh!t tested on this and failing.

    They place too many expectations on us men and we need to stand our ground. Not in a rude way but just matter of frank type of way like "This is my life if u don't like it then u can just walk away." And I think we will learn to attract women better like that. We just need to put it in perspective for them and cast it in a positive light like it's fine. Like really so many women thought I sucked and I convinced them otherwise then they couldn't stop saying how cool I was. So we just need to recognize that women fan be irrational and leave it at that. Oh and frame it right of course. If you talk about it like it sucks then they will believe it sucking and probably try to get you to move out. Women will be too motherly if u let them push you around.

  6. #26
    PUcowboy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Want to get a Girlfriend (in college) but I don't like people.

    Man I understand where your coming from, I really do, because I have been there before. It sounds like , to me, that you are comfortable communicating with these girls, which is great. However, correct me if Im wrong, you have a difficult time transitioning to getting numbers, kisses, later meet ups etc. cause you think these social gatherings are just kick backs, as we call them, and not full fledged raging parties. News flash bro, this is college, big parties are great if you want to go get plastered drunk, meet some random slam pieces to fornicate with or make out with, or get numbers, whatever your into, but for me, the smaller functions, kickbacks and just a handful of friends are the golden oppurtunities especially when the girl ratio is in your favor. Should you get a girls number if she is digging you and your digging her? YES. Should you take her upstairs to make out with her? NO. cmon dude, this is exactly what you said, a toned down get together where everyone is layed back. Just be like this, as yall are talking and your at a high point and you got her going, just pull your phone out and say hey put your number into here and we will have to: hang out sometime, go get some coffee, go bowling, fishing, clubbing, dancing, whatever it is you do up in the north. My experience is physically giving her your phone has a better success rate than asking for her number, your phone is already out when you ask, ready to have a contact put in, so she puts in her name and number and bam, job complete, well for the number anyway. Its as easy as that, and if you think its weird to be doing this at a small gathering, forget about it and put it at the back of your mind, these girls obviously want to meet guys and not a lot of obnoxious drunk dudes wanting to do a kegstand, nothing against it one of my favorite things to do, but these small events, that's where I meet the most girls. hope this helps brother

  7. #27
    Ghost141's Avatar
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    Default Re: Want to get a Girlfriend (in college) but I don't like people.

    Thanks for all the support dudes, I figure it's been long enough to give you an update.

    Last weekend I got a girl's number at a bar me and my frat bros hang around in. I knew her from High School but she went to a different high school. I met her because my sister convinced me to take a once-a-week dance class at a dance school, and this girl was my partner, but this was four years ago guys. Back then I was a quiet awkward stiff, and she was only 16 and looked 14.

    Let's just say that she doesn't look 16 anymore. She was really happy to see me and easily gave me her number but I'm hesitant to call/text to ask her out because maybe she thinks I just want to be friends and catch up. I'll probably end up doing it anyway because she's going to a different college. If she says "no" then whatever I'm not gonna run into her again.

    I'm getting better at socializing and getting into situations where I can finally meet girls but I still "choke" in the moment. Last weekend I was on the dance floor in a circle of my frat brothers and one of the brother's girlfriends pushed me towards a group of girls dancing, I then spun off and almost jogged to the bar because I got so flustered. Dancing up on a group of girls to me feels slimy and I'm not a very good dancer.

    My point is I still haven't gotten to that "fuck it, go for it!" attitude that alot of dudes with game have. Alot of it is probably because of my total lack of success with girls in the past.Like I mentioned before it's been 4 years since I've kissed a girl and in my mind I build up this huge "This is it! The eternally long Dry-Spell is over!" but that just trips me up and gets me flustered. I'm working to get over my past but it's hard to forge a whole new Mindset when I've operated on it for so long.

    One thing that I really want to get down is the "go for it" moment where it becomes obvious to the girl that I want her and want to see her more. When I finally say "let's trade numbers" or "wanna go out sometime?". I need to stop choking in the spotlight.

    Do you guys know when the sure-fire time to go for it is?

  8. #28
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    Default Re: Want to get a Girlfriend (in college) but I don't like people.

    You have the same two problems as 99% of the world:

    1. You don't know what you want.
    2. You aren't willing to do what it takes to get what you want.

    If I were a high quality girl I wouldn't want anything to do with you. You don't know what you want, you're insecure, and you're lazy.




    Want girls as bad as you want to breathe, then you'll get them.
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:



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