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  1. #1
    Shaolin Fist Guest

    Default How did I bugger this one up?

    Hi all

    I was out today at a party and I thought I might try out my skills (lack there of?) in the cocky-ness and confidence department on this woman sitting next to me at the table and it went horribly pear shaped. I have no idea how exactly and how to get out of it in the future. I was trying to be cocky, funny and confident when I was talking with her and then after a quick, comment I asked, which I think wasn't that cocky she accused me of staring at her too long, (3-4 seconds at the most I thought, nothing too creepy) and that's when it all went wrong and she started to respond to my cocky statements with scarcastic and patronising replies. So I switched off the cocky-ness and went into normal chit-chat small talk mode but this still didn't help me to recover. Unfortunately because it was a luncheon I couldn't exactly get up and go to another table, I was stuck where I was and couldn't make an exit and she was only getting more and more unimpressed with my conversation. It was if she could see right through my act and caught me out. If the situation was different I would have personally aborted the conversation and left immediately as soon as I sniffed I was going down in flames (I assume thats the best thing to do). It wasn't all bad however because when I began initially she was opened up to me (in body language and kept brushing my leg with hers), and then when I started to crash and burn her body language closed off to me (crossed arms and legs).
    I am no PUA by far, I can admit that, I'm a noob, so for all the pro's out there, please feel free to comment and in particular comment on what to do if the cocky-ness routine starts to go wrong, and why it goes wrong.

    Cheers,

  2. #2
    Mo Mo Guest

    Default

    Im no expert either bro, but i wouldve tried a "Closeout". Completely cut her off until she changes her tone.

    Regardless of if she is a nice chick or a bitch all women want to feel like they are the centre of attention. So when you kept talking to her after she bitched on you she became the leader in the conversation. She was in control.

    But maybe that wasnt an option because of the luncheon thing you were at.

    Any one else have an opinion?

  3. #3
    Bill Preston's Avatar
    Bill Preston is offline Owner - PUA Forum
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    Default

    OK. Here are the facts.

    You somehow creeped her out. You obviously can't answer that, but for some reason you made her uncomfortable. Remember, women get hit on ALL the time, so she somehow sensed that you were hitting on her and she felt creepy. Maybe it was cause you stared at her. Tell you what, find a girl who is a friend and be direct with them. Tell them what happened, even act it out.

    Ask her if she felt creepy or if there is anything creepy about what you did, said or even looked at. Women are amazing at giving feedback to improve your game. Also find a guy friend and do the same. The insights are priceless.

    One time we had a client who was decent looking and totally cool. We approached some women and he just talked way to fast, had odd body language and just didn't seem congruent.

    We had him slow down, smile and pause and fix a few things in his body language and he literally improved so much it was insane. He had no idea what he needed to fix, or how easy it was to fix. See, it is just really hard to see yourself, as others see you. You must get help. Bootcamps of course will do that (the good ones), but it can also be as easy as having some friends who are more socially in tune to watch you and provide feedback.

    And by the way, don't trip over this one girl or incident. You will chat with thousands and thousands more.

    Maybe you did everything right and she was a bitch... or maybe she was cool and you blew it with some minor things which can be easily corrected... either way it ain't a big deal.

    Bill

  4. #4
    HighTower's Avatar
    HighTower is offline PUA Forums VIP Member
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  5. #5
    Shaolin Fist Guest

    Default

    I totally agree with both replies to my post.

    Thanks for the info.

    Cheers,
    SF


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