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Thread: Need serious help getting out of ljbf for my one-itis. Please help!

  1. #11
    Jrandall is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need serious help getting out of ljbf for my one-itis. Please help!

    ok ill give that a go.

    the only worry i have is that its uncomfortable when im around her trying to be friends, shall i just act as if i dont like her anymore??

    im currently at a stalemate so do you advise waiting for her to miss me more, or say something now to end the Freeze Out?

    thanks so much

  2. #12
    Ra1d is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need serious help getting out of ljbf for my one-itis. Please help!

    Like you and most of the guys here,only after one-itis did i find out about the game.

    For you it seems like you can recover from it,if you follow BatMan's advice.For me it was over when i admitted that i liked her.I could see that disappointing look on her face when she told me "I love you so much too,but i don't know...."

    So the only thing i learned from one-itis is that i have to run from it,which is why i don't focus on one girl anymore.After all one-itis happens if you focus on that one girl.
    I mean we don't even talk anymore,I'm saying hi and she's trying to get back to the way things were,but i just don't feel like engaging her or waste my game on her.

    Maybe it's a bad advice,but that's my experience with it,I don't want to experience that feeling anymore.

  3. #13
    Jrandall is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need serious help getting out of ljbf for my one-itis. Please help!

    yea dude, norm i would agree and move on and not look back but this chick is identical to me in every way imaginable. just she holds the sex card so gives her the upper hand lol.

    it doesnt help that shes a HB12 AND bi. damn man im such an AFC lol.

    i def think its recoverable, just we're almost at last chance saloon so dont wanna fcuk it up :-(

    thanks

    jr

  4. #14
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    Default Re: Need serious help getting out of ljbf for my one-itis. Please help!

    This is the technique in a nutshell. Keep your words friendly while your body language is not so friendly.

    So talk about hanging out and funny things that happen to you in your day. Like friends do!!! Whenever she brings up your relationship CHANGE THE SUBJECT. If she pushes then tell her you will tell her later. If she KEEPS pushing after that then just frickin kiss her to shut her up. Absolutely no talking of your relationship.

    BUT with your body....you want to Kino. Grab her, hold her, rub her, tap her. Everything as long as your touch slowly becomes more sexualized. So even if you start making out and taking off her clothes your words should NEVER bring to light what's happening in the moment. Don't talk about it. Just do it. I don't care if you start talking about Family Guy on tv while you are rubbing her down there. Don't talk about it and ignore any attempts she tries at talking about it. Look at it as she's just working through it herself in her mind and feels she needs to say something. So you don't have to directly respond. Smile and move on to a different subject.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  5. #15
    Jrandall is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need serious help getting out of ljbf for my one-itis. Please help!

    ok, im goin in!!

    how should i open with speaking to her again? surely i cant say im ready to be friends right????? or should i? or how about my earlier line of "you can take me out for a drink this week if u want....."

    no matter they call u batman, ur a genius man, thanks!

  6. #16
    Jrandall is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need serious help getting out of ljbf for my one-itis. Please help!

    also, i was getting with this girl that she knows about but as i said not spoken in 8 days or so, so should i say im seeing this other girl?

    me=AFC
    just reading my posts sound like AFC but if anyone can help, its a superhero

    :-)

  7. #17
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    Default Re: Need serious help getting out of ljbf for my one-itis. Please help!

    Become selfish. Make everything about you. Don't try to hang out for the sake of hanging out. Find something you want to do and invite her along. A new movie you want to see. A hiking path you want to take. Pool. Archery. Gun range. Wal-Mart!! Anything YOU want to do. That's what friends do right? Just act like everything is normal and you're still friends.

    BUT if it gets to a point where she is weirded out that you suddenly are ok with being friends she may push for an explanation. And this you may not be able to let go so easily. So here's a quick explanation. Say this quickly and move on. Don't have a full conversation about it. Say it, then keep changing the subject if she continues.

    "I like how I can tell you anything. It's rare and it's important to me to hold onto that."

    Keep it simple. I am a fan of simple because people fill the gaps with their imagination and it does most of the work for you.

    I'd rather you not say this line because it brings to light some things. So use this only as a LAST LAST resort. Preferably if she were to bring up your sudden non-chalant behavior or about your relationship I'd rather you tell her...

    "Whoah are you getting serious on me now? Don't be a buzzkill. Let's have fun."

    A big part of attraction is mystery. By you avoiding talking about things with her makes her wonder what's on your mind. That builds Tension and therefore could result in attraction. So never reveal what's truly on your mind until after sex.

    P.S. Avoid the line about her taking you out. I feel you are not in a spot to use that just yet. That's for later.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  8. #18
    Jrandall is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need serious help getting out of ljbf for my one-itis. Please help!

    I will set the wheels in motion and keep you posted.

    Thanks man I really appreciate it

  9. #19
    Jrandall is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need serious help getting out of ljbf for my one-itis. Please help!

    My man I'm sorry it's just come to me. I KNOW she will say something on the lines of 'do you still love me'

    What would I say to that? That's the only thing I'd not feel comfortable on my own answering lol.

  10. #20
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    Default Re: Need serious help getting out of ljbf for my one-itis. Please help!

    There's two routes here. Well probably steps. It follows the same principles as I've been mentioning.

    First respond like before

    "Wow. 'That escalated quickly'." (Will Ferrell meme) or

    "Whoah things just got heavy."

    Be playful and try to brush it off. Change the subject. It may not be the smoothest transition by ignoring her, but trust me I've gotten away with totally ignoring what a woman says plenty of times.

    Shape it that her trying to get serious is a turn off or a buzz kill for you. Essentially punishing her behavior to insure she doesn't do that until you're ready to. Have the Mindset that "I'm just trying to have fun with my life. And any serious talk just puts me into a funk."

    It's rare that she will push the issue. And even more rare that she won't let it go if you brush it off. But if she is not giving up after all your dodging then tell her that you'd rather talk about it later. In private.

    When you are in private you can still ignore it and just escalate physically. Like you forgot that you were suppose to talk about it.

    Again, you'd be surprised how much you can actually ignore and not even directly answer her question and she'll be ok with it. Like I said, she's just working through it herself and wants your input. But you aren't going to interfere with that process by giving your answer or opinion on whatever she asks. Trust me, she'll love you for it because verbalizing anything only forces her to admit that something is happening. She wants you to admit it so she can have a reason to say no. So if you DON'T verbalize it then you are not admitting anything. So what would she be saying no to? Nothing because you haven't admitted anything!! Get it?

    It's like when a woman says "I know what you're doing." and you respond with "I have no idea what you're talking about." While you smile and kiss her.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."


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