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  • 1 Post By NomdePlume

Thread: The total unfairness of the dating game!!!!!!

  1. #1
    happy46073 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default The total unfairness of the dating game!!!!!!

    The total unfairness of the dating game.

    I want to write this little blog post to express a very clear idea that came to me tonight as I was discussing relationships with a female friend of mine. The basic understanding I have reached is that the dating game is totally unfair. I developed this opinion after thinking about the different roles that men and and women play during the dating process and the choices that are avaliable to men and women as they play the dating game.

    First lets look at the role of women. Women basically are expected to allow men to come and approach them and make a move. In the dating phase of a relationship women really are not expected to drive the relationship forward or make advances on men, and as a result women are only left with two choices. These choices is the choice to say yes and accept the advance of a man or the choice to say no and reject the advance of a man. Thus a women can only make this yes or no choice from among the men that are willing to make advances on them or make themself available to them. The woman can choose how much a man needs to do in order to earn advancment to another stage on the relationship for example sex ect. But at the end of the day the only choice for a woman is yes or no to what ever is on offer in their life situation. Perhaps they have dozens of guys hitting on them all the time so the choice abundant, but perhaps it could just be the occasional advances of some looser they know.

    Men on the other hand have a different choice. It is who they are willing to make advances on and who they are willing to make themselves available to. Then from among these group of women they are willing to make themselves avaliable to the woman they will be able to choose from are the women who accept their advances and say yes to their offers. Therefore the question for a man is how many people is he willing to make himself avaliable to? And does he have the skills to get a yes from the women that he peruses.

    There for the man has much more choice. He gets to choose who he creates the possibility of a relationship with, and all the woman can do to his advances is either say yes or no. The next thing is once a woman says yes to a man, she then hands the power to choose and control the relationship to the man. Now the woman has said yes it is up to the man to decide if he wants to continue any further. Take for example a man who hits on a girl and finally wins her phone number. Now the man has her phone number it is him who will make the choice if he calls her or if the relationship goes any further.

    If we really consider this we realize the game is totally in favor of men. Yet, because of the shitness of so many guys there are still so many AFCs and loosers out there, who just refuse to develop the basic skills needed to be able to be able to get a woman from amongst the thousands of opportunity that present themselves every day. Or men that throw themselves and their dignity at the feet of one woman just because they havent realized the opportunities that are out there for them, if they just wanted to execute a bit of game.

    At the end of the day, the game is totally in favour of men. We have all the power and woman only have one choice, and if men develop the skills they need they can take that choice away from the woman and make it their choice.

    I have the highest respect for women, but I believe that this is true and I guess it is unfair for woman, but that is the way things are.

  2. #2
    Konnect Life is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: The total unfairness of the dating game!!!!!!

    I guess that's one way of looking at it.

    It's like someone losing a job and the other person says "you're so lucky because now you have the option to find/choose another job!"

    The manager can only make the decision to hire, promote and fire, but the employees & job seekers get to look for jobs and therefore have all the power!!!! Totally sucks for the managers.

  3. #3
    2champ2 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: The total unfairness of the dating game!!!!!!

    I completely disagree, I think women have it much easier in the dating game. If you are a woman and at least somewhat attractive physically, you will still be able to get laid/boyfriends more or less on demand because there is an abundance of horny AFC's out there that will simply take what is available or what falls in their lap (literally). Think about it, say you are an AFC at a club or bar and a fairly decent looking girl comes on to you out of no where and makes it clear she wants to get laid, most AFC's would hop on the opportunity with out much thought. The fact is women ultimately determine who they date, hook up with and so on, so if they are hard core picky and stuck up then maybe it is harder for those types, but for the most part women usually have lots of options in dating. I dont care if a guy approaches 100 HB's a day, if he has no game, he isnt getting anywhere in the dating game. So while guys maybe have the option to approach lots of different women that doesnt necessarily make it easier for him. And who says women cant approach men and initiate first? How do you think some hardcore AFC's get laid? Because some girl just falls into their lap.

  4. #4
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    Lancelot is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: The total unfairness of the dating game!!!!!!

    I don't know about all this. What I do know is that women have no game haha. I've setup fake okc accounts with pictures of male models to see what women would do. Most of what comes in is "Hey", or "Hi, how are you?"I think for women, game is appearance- they spend a lot of time getting ready for a reason. I don't know about unfair, I mean it is what it is. Men don't have menstrual cycles, but we have to work a little to score. Nature is all about balance.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: The total unfairness of the dating game!!!!!!

    Equally Unbalanced "Man is the chooser, Woman is the buyer."
    Well my man you are totally getting it. It is equally unbalanced. It is unfair to the men because we get rejected so often and don't rarely if ever have extremely hot women approaching us, asking for our numbers, hitting on us, try to make passes at us. This is essentially how the universe balances itself out. The women want Mr. Right and guys just want a HB to party with or have a relationship with. Girls aren't so eager to dive in head first for someone good looking though I would dive in head first for that. Men are just this way more visual in our standards but women are more emotional in their standard as does this guy have confidence, social proof, charm? Usually when I am presenting these qualities I am able to dhv, ping, and pass sh!t tests like no problem. But as far as the whole dating game HB's are looking for someone who is all that money, looks, personality, social circle, confidence, etc. The women don't know the private details of our financial lives, social circles, and the like so they base their perceptions at face value based on our confidence, social proof, and looks we are either rejected or accepted. I am a pretty boy and though I get a lot of high class women checking me out hardcore doesn't help my game at all. Even when they admit I am super hot they still will blow me off like nothing. I would never blow off a super hot chick though I would be into her until I got to know her still like her possibly. I have noticed all 3 HB10's I have talked to are shallow. Surprisingly HB9's are easy to game and very humble though they are super hot. It's just the 10's man they are looking for like a rock hard bod before you can get anywhere with them. This is why I am working out and working on improving my image all around. HB9's don't make you go through the motions as much and appreciated all my advances. In fact HB9's are the ones that have liked me the most! Had a lot of trouble with HB7's and HB8's are pretty neutral. HB6's are a little snobby but HB10's are like the Holy Grail man! You have to have a super good opener, super good closing, and super good mid-game to keep them engaged and successfully close them. The last HB10 I talked to told me "That's a lot of questions." It was the worst convo out of all the 85 sets I have done yet she was my #1 hottest one I approached since being in the game. Most convo's I ask a question she answers, we banter, tease, flirt, ping, and the convo is 50/50. But I asked this HB a question she responded, asked a question she responded, asked a question she responded. It was like beating a dead horse. Couldn't even ping her to get mad at me. It was essentially pretty emasculating but I deserved it no doubt because I used a what's open HB7 opener on her and while I was not in state I still should have done better than that. I am always unique with my opens on HB9's it's just that HB10 took my breath away should have said that lol.

    But as far as the dating gaming goes the guys have less leway to score and hot women could easily score. So yes it is very imbalanced because hot women literally can go up to practically any guy without a girl and start making out with him and grabbing his chest but if a guy does that and goes up to a girl without saying anything and starts grabbing her he would get smacked. So we have to game them first before making a move but girls get away with anything for being cute. I have had girls grab my butt before but if I grabbed a girl's butt I know I would get verbally stomped on. Also as far as the whole male selection dynamic guys can choose who they want to be with but a lot of factors prevent the proposed target to reach failure expectancy rate by her having a BF, being turned off, getting rejected, or just plain sucking. Girls don't have to deal with that kind of pressure you know of walking up to random 4 girls with 1 guy. We are a lot of times outnumbered and outgunned due to the women having back up and us having to juggle multiple women. Let's take for instance what just happened with the HB10. Approached the target kino from the back while opening, target engaged displaying IOI's on the open. Target not engaging opened friend of the target. Potential obsticle not cockblocking saying to "get in there and get at it" potential cockblock pinging like crazy, feeding mad IOI's and ready to get down with me but completely determined to acquire target switch back to target. Target pissed wants me to walk around with her. Walk around with her and she keeps looking at me now matter where I move, try to ignore. Target leaving try to close. No close target says she "doesn't know me." Leave the bar to acquire target and she says "seriously dude? My BF is waiting right there!" Target lost, missed open on another HB10, HB8 potential cockblock, HB9 walking, HB8 walking upstairs, and all in all because I was trying to flipping build enough attraction to close and she kept leading me down a flipping bunny trail. I don't close until I feel a ping or can hook the set and I never did that so I literally waited till my 2nd re-approach to close. The dating game has changed and it is essentially learning how to get the girls to chase you. In the sense in the sets where I have gone up said a few words in my opener and get them to ping right away and try to carry the convo. But I carried the convo and I was chasing her and that's why I lost her and not to mention lost a lot of other targets since I was focused on rapport building. Should have built a Jealousy Plotline instead. I should play the game better too since I could have easily opened those 5 sets in less than 30 minutes. But the harshness of the HB10 I opened took my breath away and could never calibrate to my optimal functioning capacity. Just a off night and super bad when this happens on one of the best nights when I see 5 sets all above HB7's in less than 30 minutes that's a good night! Too bad maybe I'll learn. Oh well back to the Bar.

  6. #6
    Bballking is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: The total unfairness of the dating game!!!!!!

    I'm going to guess for the context of this blog that she swayed the favor of your discussion her way. Or you wanted to prove that we have the power but at the end of the day it still doesn't help you get laid. Either which way, I think your looking at this incorrectly.

    Your mostly right in your discussion that men having the power of approaching and women having the power to accept or decline. But eliminate it as a power thing, and all your left with is men approach, women decide. Societal rules dictate this more than personal perceptions and if you so choose to flip the script, don't expect many opportunities to accept or decline dates, girls won't approach often.

    But then there must be solution... the game! Your gender dictates a position of approaching. Accept it. Live it. Perfect it. As you can come here and retain skills that help you approach and attract women, so can women develop skills to accept which men to accept or decline. You can see so many men out there sitting around at the bar, staring into the crowd, waiting for an opportune time to approach. And so can you see women flirting and leaving with the guy you initially thought was a complete tool. All the while knowing he's going to smang this broad and never talk to her again.

    Let the women have their choice. In reality, it's much much more powerful. Instead of concerning yourself with mundane gender polarizations, read some stickys and posts on here, excel with the position your given, and in the end you'll make the decision for the women much easier. Which is really what we all want

  7. #7
    NomdePlume is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: The total unfairness of the dating game!!!!!!

    This is vastly ignorant and narrow. There are no simple yes or no when it comes to emotions.

    A woman can say yes, we'll go out. Why? To see if they are compatible. If that date goes well, she can decide how much to give, whether to see him again, etc. The yes can be for many reasons. The no can also be for many reasons. Women call all the shots in the end. Men are just playing a complicated game to improve their odds for the "yes".

    There is no fair or unfair. It's how things work and if you don't like the game, don't play.

  8. #8
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: The total unfairness of the dating game!!!!!!

    Well this just looks like a nice computer program following a flow. With "if else" statements and Boolean choices. Interesting indeed. However, there are simply too many variables beyond the scope of what our minds can handle to reduce it as such. I think one chooses to view it as either fair or unfair. But neither is correct or wrong.

    I've chosen to look at the system as a beautiful art form. The interaction of teasing and shaping a dynamic with a woman can be exciting. To gain compliance with each other and qualify in order to build and maintain attraction. To me it fits all together quite nicely.

    The only reason this stuff works for us is because most men don't know. So, technically speaking, if everyone has game, no one has game. And let's face it, some guys just don't feel the same way about learning this stuff and that's ok. It's not for everyone.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  9. #9
    happy46073 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: The total unfairness of the dating game!!!!!!

    I guess I take an existential view of the whole situation. When I write a series of ideas down, my aim is not to present a objective truth. But, rather present a useful way of thinking about things, that people can either accept or reject as helpful.
    I want to improve the quality of the relationships in my life, and have more success at dating and attracting women that I am interested in. I guess this is the same as other people using this forum.
    For me I personally find my view as helpful way of viewing these issues and achieving desirable outcomes in this area of my life. I chose to believe that I approach the dating game from a position of advantage, and I play the game with this Mindset. Even if I am wrong, and I am in a position of disadvantage, I believe that my way of thinking is one which is more helpful and more likely to lead to success.
    I choose to believe that as a man I am in a better position than most women, and as a result I live my life in this way. I follow my feelings of attraction with out shame or inhibition. I feel free to choose who I have the possibility of having a relationship with.
    In regard to the yes or no being an over simplification. I think its important to understand the importance of this. Yes, there are a range of emotional factors that affect a womans decision, but at the end of the day, if you cant get a yes you cant go anywhere. This is why these simple concepts of yes and no are worth focusing on, my goal is to get a yes from a woman who I am attracted to. She will have complex emotions that need to be understood, but if I am attracted I want to get a yes.
    Again in writing these blogs I am just trying to present a way of looking at the situation that may be helpful. I am not trying to present an objective truth.
    I think that it is quite clear that we are all putting quite a deal of thought into these issues, and thus empowering ourselves for success even if our views on particular issues are different. I really appreciate, how these threads can challange me to adopt a greater capacity to think about these things.


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