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  1. #1
    juhasaw is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need help with shyness

    Hello everybody!

    Im 20year old shy guy who got some fears about girls and with social contacts. Im fighting with my own mind about 5 year and still fighting but now i think i found key to next door in my life. Its that forum and Psychologics studies whats start at next month.

    But yea, its maybe better if im trying get more information before thats school, about "How to be more social" etc.

    But the problem in my life whats very often block me to get progress is i got very bad fear about approach girls and access to meet new people.

    Its like, im feared to look people to eyes, in particular girls. Its something like im feared that they going to lough me because im shy. I know thats was in my mind and its not really NOTHING but anyway, i cant get it off and this really fatigue me. Becouse i want to meet new people and have fun and be very social and friendly.

    Did anyone here pass these same problems?

    P.S At first day when i have joined here i get so many good tips instanly so..
    I guess i can walk over for all these problems and being so glad person with ur support guys!

    Have a nice day, Peace!

  2. #2
    dave_xxx's Avatar
    dave_xxx is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with shyness

    Some great ideas on aa in this thread.

    http://www.puaforums.com/how-approac...s-college.html

    Here is a part of my post in that thread and it will help you overcome your shyness:


    You should at EVERY chance you get with a female be practicing on holding a conversation.

    This girl could be your neighbor, buddy's sister, your grandma, your cousin, store clerk, librarian, the girl at the fast food place or just about anyone. Try to prolong each conversation. Start at 15 seconds. Then up to 30 seconds and so on. Pretty soon you will be able to hold very, very lengthy conversations.

    I have talked to females that I have only met once , got their number and when I called them I have talked to them for up to 8 hours in 1 night. They had to work in the morning but they didn't want to put the phone down. I offered to end the conversation but they wanted it to continue.

    My point isn't to brag about myself, my point is that I was a shy kid when I was 15. I refused to stand up in front of the class to present my project. I was willing to lose all marks on the project just so I wouldn't have to stand in front of the class. This was in the middle of the school year. I did very well in school but for public speaking I was willing to fail the class. In my mind at the time the pain for failing the class would be less than the pain I would feel by going up and speaking in front of the class.

    My teacher, with 2 weeks left in the school year, told me that I had to speak in front of the class for 5 minutes or that I would fail the class. It was either an A+ or an F.

    To the credit of my teacher he told me that for the next 2 weeks that the very first question in every class would be mine to answer. He told me to stand up at my desk and give an answer that was 15 seconds or longer.

    Next class it was 30 seconds or longer and so on. The increase in the amount of time required for the answer kept progressing over the next 2 weeks.

    Long story made short, I did my presentation and I stood up there for more than 15 minutes. My teacher had helped me conquer my fear. I went well past the 5 minutes and I was talking confidently without looking at my notes.

    How does this help you?

    You can do the same by taking the very same small steps to build your confidence. Start with opening girls and who cares if you get blown out 2 minutes later. As long as you are learning from those mistakes and prolonging each conversation. You too will conquer your fear and get rid of AA.

  3. #3
    juhasaw is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with shyness

    Dave, thanks about fast respond. Thats ur storie was really inspirating and awesome. I think im going to put that ur tips to my mind and going to try it out. I let u know!

    Also i have problem like : What i going to talk for womans or anybody , sometimes i think i was really bored person and people getting tired when they was with me.

    I noticed im very negative person and trying everyday to get out from it. But nevertheless im open my mouth with deploring, something like "What the fuck is this weather" "Fuck that shit" "Hows nothing work" EtcEtc . I know thats so wrong but once i had to negative thread in my mind, its hard to get out there now

    I have alot of questions but dont remember those all right now.


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