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  1. #1
    Melo Guest

    Default Need help, beyond clueless

    *I know I wrote a book but I dunno how to explain my situation.

    Whats up everyone, new to the forum but I think I prob. have a different problems than a lot of folks here. I'm already a very confident person in general; well spoken (was awarded "Mr. charisma" in my large public speaking class last semester, my style was the prototypical cocky funny though I didnt know what that was at the time), I'm already the alpha male, in terms of body language and the way I speak. On top of that, I am a good looking guy, a stereotypical "hunk", or as most have said, "stud". Good skin square jaw high cheek bones ect. I'm a bit of genetic freak; or I guess I should a major underperformer in that sense. I have a horrible diet, hardly ever excersive outside of the occas. pick up football game but yet dont gain a lbs (infact Ive experienced crazy-prob. unhealthy-weight loss in the 2 periods of my life Ive actually attemped to lose weight); never lift but still outllift most of my friends (several of whome play div. 1 sports in college) , never run but still torch them anytime we play pick-up whatever. I'm in the process of changing my diet but its tough (the folks who say mcdonalds is addicting are 110% accurate) and working out again to my improve my body, which isnt bad, but could. prob. better. But that asides-

    Because on the surface I guess I have a lot of things in my favor, I have never really had to *try* with girls. I'm 20 and I've never a real girlfriend (but I come from an upper middle class town where everyones parents married in their 30's and there were very little couples, so I never even really thought about it) but I've never had to make a real effort to pick up girls; in groups at parties and what not Ive pretty much been myself: I'm loud but not obnoxious, funny, ect. I guess from reading the forums here I would be "flirty" but I always looked at it as being a d1ck as a joke (never really picked up that this is what girls like), my most frequent and effective way was to always say the opposite of what pretty much any girl would say....i.e. "This is the best part of the song"-I would talk over her "Yeah this is def. the worst part of the song" I literally had chicks constantly coming onto me; one of my buddies girlfriend literally had a new friend wanting my # (I've only asked a chick for her # once in my life, every other time its been given to me) every time I saw her. That said, I have very high standards, so much to that I was honestly kind of offended one of her friends thought I would hook up with her. So even though I had a large # of girls I knew I could get with, I really didnt take full advantage of it (I fully-closed one chick last summer, and they dont come easier: she was visiting a friend of mine (her cousin), was all over me, dropping the most obvious lines like "We might never see eachother again!"...) but the reality was these girls, while by and large being fine girls, were not what I wanted. They were prob. 6's while I wanted 8's and above. My thinking was and always has been, "If I exert zero effort to get them, I could def. get what i want if I actually knew what i was doing". I had never wanted a girlfriend or even a real friend with benefits (because honestly girls arent that important to me at the moment as Im up to my ass in school work)...but that was until now.

    Enter this fall: en route to a party I run into some legal troubles (Massachusetts laws are absurd, I couldnt have gotten more screwed) and my ability to party is done until I am 21. Not putting myself in a situation to get screwed again...but the prob. is outside of these group settings I have ZERO game. For some reason, in one on one conversations with girls I am interested in (to be blatantly honest I don't really talk to chicks I'm not interested in) all of that stuff is out the window. Its like talking to a door; and I know it too and have no idea why I am acting so disinterested but at the same time efforts to sound interested come off either awkward or weak. Confidence in 1 on 1 scenarios isnt really *low* but not really *high*; I have girls I would gladly pursue flirt with me but Im just no good at flirting back. Im totally out of my element and have no idea how to get back in. But at the same time...I want to be getting with these girls. I dunno what the deal is; I went on a school trip a month ago and the best looking girl of the 24 person group was totally into me and I knew but I was just out of my zone. I do not know what is up; she is touching me the whole way up, facing me, nonstop eye contact laughing at everything, putting her # in my phone, texting me all night, ect. all this stuff you guys say are IOI's...but I just have no idea how to escalate. Honestly, I am complete beginnger; I dont even know a real effective way to ask a girl for her #.

    I think with some help here I could a damn successful pua, but the problem is, I am clueless. I.e...wth is "day game", and what is "night game"? Whats the difference? And what is this "mystery" Sh1t? Act mysterious? I was looking at the list at the top and couldnt find seems like I am missing some huge starter piece that you guys are are in. Can yall help me?

  2. #2
    gunsnglory is offline Official PUA Forums Moderator
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    Default Re: Need help, beyond clueless

    I just moved to a new town, and made a really stupid mistake. Got my own run-in with Johnny Law, so I know what that can do for your confidence. On a completely on related note, don't drink and drive people. Being just over, is still over...

    Anyway to your questions. day game and night game are pretty easy to figure out if you just read some of the threads around this forum. Day game is when you approach people in the day. It is a different approach because you are interrupting women's days as you bump into them going about their daily life. Night game, is for in bars and clubs and such. The game is different because you are meeting women where they have specifically come to a play to be social and meet people. The Mystery method you are running into on the forum, refers to a method developed by one of the early greats in the pick-up world who goes by the name Mystery. He has since renamed his system to "Love Systems" or something like that. His techniques though still useful are generally considered out dated by many pick-up artists.

  3. #3
    the fiddler Guest

    Default Re: Need help, beyond clueless

    You and I are in similar boats. I can't tell you what to do to get numbers, because up until now I've been in college where getting girls is like shooting fish in a barrel. Outside of college there is a lot fiercer competition for quality women, and many of them have boyfriends. That being said, I'm focusing on my "day game." Everyone knows to be confident. Take your time when you have a chance to talk to woman, whether she is a clerk or just someone you see in the grocery store. I have found it valuable to always carry cash money. Women will think you are rich if every time they see you buy something you pull out a wad of green. It demonstrates abundance and security. Also, don't be a jerk, unless the situation calls for it. Women don't like guys who are jerks any more than you or I do. Don't be a doormat either. I've found honesty to be especially valuable. The other day I was buying a soda, and the clerk was sitting there looking bored as hell. So when it was my turn, I asked her how her day was going, she said "Fine." Then I came back with, "Oh, well you look bored out of your mind." This made her laugh. I left it at that, but the point is that I was able to build some rapport with her. I know a lot of people here are looking to get a girl in bed as quickly as possible. Maybe that works for some people, but I have found more success in building relationships over time, gaining trust. For women trust is a big part of any sexual relationship.

    As far as getting numbers goes, I could use some advice myself. Recently someone suggested to me just handing the girl I want my cell phone, and making some excuse to walk away for a minute. I don't know if it will work or not, but I plan to try it next time I have the opportunity with a woman I want. I'll let you know what happens.

  4. #4
    Nubbi Guest

    Default Re: Need help, beyond clueless

    the fiddler... do you just really get the girl to hold your phone for a while or do you aso have to spell it out that she could key in her digits? am just concerned she might think am a jerk for making her just hold her phone (coz I don't know how i'd feel if she gets me to hold her bag).

  5. #5
    the fiddler Guest

    Default Re: Need help, beyond clueless

    Like I said, I've never tried it. It's something that was suggested to me that I found interesting and plan to try.

  6. #6
    RocketMan Guest

    Default Re: Need help, beyond clueless

    How'd it go?

  7. #7
    Typhoon Guest

    Default Re: Need help, beyond clueless

    I usually ask, "Now, how do i hook up with you again?" especially if we had a great time hanging out. Sometimes I say, "It's been fun talking, we should do this again, how do I contact you?"

    It's just sh!tty sometimes to be told to find them on Facebook, but if that's what they want and I have the time, why not. But still, I ask directly if am interested and the girl didn't have the initiative to do so. More often than not, a girl who really had a great time will either offer or give hers, no prob.

  8. #8
    Smash Guest

    Default Re: Need help, beyond clueless

    One thing you have to remember is that a woman can be just as intimidated by a good looking guy as we can be intimidated by an HB9 or 10. Chances are that if she notices you and wants to talk to you, she will try to impress you when you open her. Judging by the story from the school trip, I would say the best thing to do is to raise your confidence levels. You say you don't talk to women that you aren't interested to them anyway. Hell just go start a random conversation with like 5 strangers per day until you are comfortable opening anyone. Everyone knows that behind some ugly chick is the hot friend. If you can start engaging these not so interesting girls and loosening up around them, then it will become easier with the better looking girls. And you may just get in with the hot friends of the chick that you weren't interested in. That's what I would do...

  9. #9
    Typhoon Guest

    Default Re: Need help, beyond clueless

    Could borrowing the girl's phone to call your phone work? You can just then quip, "Now it's established both our phones are working, there's no reason we shouldn't hook up again."


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