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  • 1 Post By daffyff
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Thread: here is my shame, here is my hope

  1. #1
    daffyff is offline PUA in Training
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    Default here is my shame, here is my hope

    Hi all, I'm daffy.

    I'm 33 years old, and have been divorced for a year. I've been dating again, trying to meet women, without great results. I realized today that I have been out of the game for 5 years!! So I'm a little rusty and maybe my confidence is a little shot

    Earlier in the year, I went out on a first date with someone I met through online dating. She was perfectly gorgeous, perfectly proportioned, also elegant and charming. Furthermore we had a whole lot in common. And I blew it. I'm almost certain it was salvageable, but I blew it again with a stupid text, to which she didn't respond, or ever again. That was my turning point where I decided that I need to develop game for real.

    So I bought the Game and read it. I also watched some free youtube videos on it. Even purchased Gambler's online video courses. I have plenty of knowledge on the subject now. What I don't have is a support network which I hope to get here. Also maybe some people to go out with.

  2. #2
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: here is my shame, here is my hope

    She was perfectly gorgeous, perfectly proportioned, also elegant and charming. Furthermore we had a whole lot in common. And I blew it. I'm almost certain it was salvageable, but I blew it again with a stupid text, to which she didn't respond, or ever again.
    any time you place a woman's value over your own, you are setting yourself up for failure.
    in a cliché "don't put the pu$$y on a pedestal"

    you can't afford to worry about what women think of you. let them be the ones who want your approval.

    you can't treat hot girls like they're hot, treat them all the same.

  3. #3
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: here is my shame, here is my hope

    Don't mistake "having a lot in common" as building attraction... those are 2 completely different things.

    Curiosity builds attraction, and the best way to spark curiosity, is to use your DIFFERENCES to their full potential.

    Example:
    I like olives. A lot of girls don't... so I use that as a way to playfully tease them about not being adventurous. (a mild dis-qualifier)
    They'll start trying to prove that they ARE adventurous (qualifying themselves) by telling me all sorts of things they've done that could be considered "adventurous".

    Simple, little things like that can boost your game by laps & bounds.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  4. #4
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: here is my shame, here is my hope

    You know T, I always liked you, but now that I know you also love olives, makes us brothers for life !!!!!!

  5. #5
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: here is my shame, here is my hope

    Word! LOL


    Olives ROCK!!!!!!!


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  6. #6
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: here is my shame, here is my hope

    T - there is this little Italian market by me and they have the best Sicilian Green Olives .... WOOOO HOOOO

    But the funny thing is you gave me a great idea ... I randomly texted a few girls with "Do you like olives" ... the ones that said yes got "Cool you just went up two slots on my list " the ones that said no got "you just dropped a peg in my book" got a lot of LOL's !!!!!!

  7. #7
    daffyff is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: here is my shame, here is my hope

    Thanks for the warm welcome and advice guys.

    I really don't believe I put her on a pedestal. That wasn't my mistake that night. My mistake was mostly not taking advantage of the mutual attraction by escalating Kino i think it's called? I have a tendency to not touch people any people. I'm working on it. The second mistake was showing weakness in my follow-up text. I plan on outlining my problems in a more detailed post later tonight in the appropriate sections.

    The point of the story was to show that I had come to the realization that I was an AFC, and that I could have gone further with this woman if I had any idea of what I was doing. In other words, if I wanted a certain caliber of woman, I needed to behave and present an equal caliber of man.

    The thing is I'm at a point where I need this kind of interaction with people. I literally have no one I would feel comfortable talking to about this in my life. And I really do appreciate the feedback so far. I need a lot of help.

    Daffy

  8. #8
    daffyff is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: here is my shame, here is my hope

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    any time you place a woman's value over your own, you are setting yourself up for failure.
    in a cliché "don't put the pu$$y on a pedestal"

    you can't afford to worry about what women think of you. let them be the ones who want your approval.

    you can't treat hot girls like they're hot, treat them all the same.
    I used to think that putting a woman on a pedestal was just desperation to the point of being creepy. Bending over backwards doing everything you can for her, always agreeing, showing no spine, etc and when you were eventually rejected by her you'd resort to creepy stalker behavior trying to win her back.

    But today, while mulling over the feedback I've been getting from here, and I had a revelation today about the pedestal. Or at least how I put women on a pedestal. Although the above definition is an extreme example, the way I put women on a pedestal was simply by believing that any woman I found to be physically attractive deserved my attention for no other reason then that I found her to be physically attractive!

    This is a terrible admission for me, being that I obviously bristled at the accusation of putting women on a pedestal and I didn't want to be associated with such a loser behavior. I feel so stupid. This information is not new to me. I've seen it explained a hundred times. But knowing this about myself so many PUA things makes more sense to me now.

    What this means is that I have to view any stranger as average, unless proven otherwise. Without being a dick about it. And this is why so many AFCs think women like dicks. It's also why so many women like dicks....they can't tell the difference between arrogance and confidence.

    PUAs require proof to respect someone, because they have confidence and self worth.
    Dicks will not respect anyone regardless of proof, because they have over-inflated egos.


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