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  1. #1
    gr8thymes is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Hello PUA World, Married Guy Needs Game - Wife Approves

    My story is likely different than many of yours. I've already met and married the love of my life. She is wonderful and will never be replaced. After 10 years of monogamy we have decided upon pursuing a slightly different path. We have given each other permission to pursue outside relationships.

    Sounds like a dream until you realize that after 10 years your game; if you can call it that, never progressed past that of a high school senior. I have lot going for me in terms of physical appearance, sociability, and communication skills, I have never had trouble being noticed by women, but that is where it ends. I don't have any practice escalating beyond that point.

    My goal is to be able to attract women who are at least as attractive as my wife for short-term or friends with benefits relationships. Thank you in advance for your support and assistance.

  2. #2
    Wolf24's Avatar
    Wolf24 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Hello PUA World, Married Guy Needs Game - Wife Approves

    Hello. As much as I'd like to help you with your journey of pursuing new relationships I'm also curious about the story behind you and your wife letting each other pursue new relationships without divorcing.

    Don't get me wrong though I'm not trying to judge you. I'm just curious about the Mindset of all that, maybe your elaboration will open up my mind about monogamy.

    About your pursuit of attracting women, your starting point might be different from the most of us but assuming you've been out of the game for 10 years, I'd recommend starting with the basic guides like we all did.

    You can do a quick search in the forum about general aspects of flirting and attracting or you can visit the forum sections to check out the sticky threads. (Most of those stickies include the basic guidelines)

    Of course if you have specific questions about anything related to the game you can jump back to this thread and I'm sure me and my guys will try our best to enlighten you.
    It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.

    It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.

  3. #3
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Hello PUA World, Married Guy Needs Game - Wife Approves

    Hmmm maybe an quick short cut would be having your wife as a wing lol. That is... If all else fails.

    I suggest getting good on conversational level. The approach isnt really important considering you already have a wife so you're not losing anything by approaching women. I would be specific in the approach of what you're looking for and how to expand upon it. What i'm getting at is escalating from conversation. Try the Hired Gun approach, learn to listen and challenge women emotional through though provoking questions and other forms of break rapport as you break the ice and build comfort with them.

    I'd imagine when the wife situation comes up i'd be honest about it but never make it a big deal. Try to make things about what you want or what they want and less about what your wife wants unless she wanrs to directly benefit from it.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  4. #4
    gr8thymes is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Hello PUA World, Married Guy Needs Game - Wife Approves

    Thank you both for your responses. Both of you make it obvious that morals are important to you and I am completely on the same page. In fact that is part of why I am here. Honesty and integrity are not qualities that I am willing to compromise. In order to overcome the inherent resistance of picking up women who know that I am married I need to to "crank up" the attraction. Women are not all closed to the idea of being involved with married men, but I need to give them a reason to linger long enough to realize the value I can offer.

    In regard to the decision to be non-monogamous rather than seek a divorce. Going our separate ways has never been on the table. We love each other, have complete trust in each other, have a very health sex life, and share many interests and beliefs. We are happy together.

    We both have limited experience outside of each other. We began to question all of he people we have missed on getting to know and the experiences that would have occurred. She would occasionally bring up people she was attracted to and all of the male friends she had to stop talking to because of that attraction. I was the resistant party for some time. A close friend of ours brought up the possibility of an open marriage and suggested several books to read.

    At this point we seriously question whether monogamy is the natural model of human relationships. The book Sex at Dawn does a good job of discussing the evidence of this. The short version is a mental exercise of considering just how well monogamy is working out for us as a culture. How many relationships end because of "cheating"? How many people jump from one relationship to another in "serial monogamy" never settling down with one person for more than a short period of time? How many people have problems with possessiveness and suspicion about their partners? I'm not saying that happy monogamy doesn't exist; it does, but these are valid questions nonetheless.

    We decided that we couldn't be all things to each other at all times and and so we decided to share each other.

    I've read The Game and will browse the forums until I have further questions.

    It is funny that you should bring up having my wife wing for me; she wants to. I'm a little uncomfortable falling flat on my face in front of her, but it is an option.

  5. #5
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Hello PUA World, Married Guy Needs Game - Wife Approves

    Well i think learning together can be ve beneficial. Try it out once or twice. Remember pick up works both ways on men and women. Its a matter of how you conduct yourselves. Your wife could learn this stuff to help wing but also look for men too if you wanted to help her out in that direction. You will have more luck experimenting with conversational tactics i believe. Go to bars, salons and places where bired guns are busy at work but can totally socialize with you. Get comfortable talking first to other women. Try a Strip Club to falk to them but try not to spend too much money. Get yor verbal game up and then start throwing your energy around to being the best guy in the room to get the women attracted to you and then escalate.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  6. #6
    Naughty Napoleon's Avatar
    Naughty Napoleon is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Hello PUA World, Married Guy Needs Game - Wife Approves

    Quote Originally Posted by gr8thymes View Post
    My story is likely different than many of yours. I've already met and married the love of my life. She is wonderful and will never be replaced. After 10 years of monogamy we have decided upon pursuing a slightly different path. We have given each other permission to pursue outside relationships.

    Sounds like a dream until you realize that after 10 years your game; if you can call it that, never progressed past that of a high school senior. I have lot going for me in terms of physical appearance, sociability, and communication skills, I have never had trouble being noticed by women, but that is where it ends. I don't have any practice escalating beyond that point.

    My goal is to be able to attract women who are at least as attractive as my wife for short-term or friends with benefits relationships. Thank you in advance for your support and assistance.



    Your issue is actually quite common among most attractive men.

    You can attract women and get their attention but you hardly seal the deal.

    This is mostly due to you are lack of knowledge on how to seal the deal.
    Or might be you are lack of drive to seal the deal.

    Perhaps my guide on how to hook up with a girl will help you to achieve your goal.


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