When I read the Game by Neil Strauss, my whole Mindset began to change, the game had taken over my instincts. I had been bred from then on to game like never before. Damn I felt good! I was confident and smart, and wise and humble all at the same time. I knew what to say, when and how to say it, life was good.
Thats when I met her. I was a dishwasher and she was a new cook from out of town. I knew I was going to like her too. And I always did a thing when a new hot girl was hired at my job. Ignore them, I was a dishwasher so nobody had to say anything to me. Later we started talking, I played with her I even remember looking back on my way home and she was in the work hallway giving me a naughty look with a smile on her face. She liked guys who didn't pay attention to her. Later I got her number and I swear everyday I got up from sleep there was a text from her. It was crazy.
Our first date was this Italian joint and then Thor 2. The night before we got into an argument and she wanted me to be real with her. She even showed her dad that night a photo of me and they got into it because I was black.
So back to the date it was during the cold months and we stopped by a park and it is freezing cold outside. She takes her shirt off, ( Huge tits) and changes it. I don't budge, I maintain my cool, we go back to the car and she takes me to IHOP ( International House of Prayer ) and I get a chance to see her in her world. I get to see how she acts. Skips days after and we are talking in her car for like 3 hours before I have to go inside my house ( moms house). Then we make out. Now this is the first girl I actually liked to make out with. It was incredible, no matter how silly this may seem kissing her seemed like enough. She felt what I I felt did what I did, I lead her like the alpha male I was born to be. Everyday was perfect and I wasn't some damn I loved her more than she loved me crap, I made her fall for me. She was mine, I thought to myself during our 4 months together " This is the one! I usually don't take the chance to be serious". I see all chances and never take them because something was never right. Until I met her. Another thing that was strange it was like we were mentally connected. Note I do have a strong spiritual side to me and my mother tells me Im have a gift. Ill get into that later but Us being connected like, I could feel her crying and I knew things before she told me about herself. It was really weird. Then one day we stay at our hotel. Well... most employees did since it was snowing hard that night. We were in different rooms but she asked to come to my room. And we just talked and chilled. It was an amazing night. The next morning she calls me at like 7 telling me to come to her room even though she's dead sleep. I go down there and we cuddle for like two minutes before she goes downstairs for work. She hugs me back to bed and says goodbye then texts me i had a great time love spending time with you. I didn't respond for two days and then we got into an arguement back at work and I tell her Im sorry. She says that she always gets hurt by guys when she gets too close. We hug it out and and she texts me about church, about how this got her closer to God. We still talk and weeks later we are back together. But I want to test our relationship so I start masturbating and I honestly think that the bad spirit got her because we were connected and then everything came down. I wanted test our relationship by masturbating to see if it was strong enough to endure, sadly it did not. Months passed she said she wasn't right for me. That she was a rambler ( hoe) and that I should move on.
She doubted herself a lot. She had a lot of trouble battling that sort of thing. So we change work shifts and I don't see her for a good 6 months we see each other and its like we first met. We hug for like 5 minutes. we talk a little but we didn't get back together. Months and months past and I hear her doing things like offering other guys sex and doing drugs. People and my job telling how angry she is all the time they call her the ANGRY LESBIAN GIRL. Well from 2013 winter to now.
Im not a dishwasher but a host at a restaurant under the same company. Hotel.
She wanted to be friends like in Janurary this year because she was getting depressed that she didn't have any friends. So I became her friend, FYI she almost killed herself because of depression.
But she never texted or called me so I told her we couldn't be friends anymore. I didn't expect her to call me every single day but when she wanted to be my friend so I consider at least a text a week especially if you're dealing with depression. I mean really??? I call her on my vacation to see if I can get closure and talk. My mind since us not talking was just damaged. I needed to talk to someone about what I was going through but nobody understood. She was like yea sure Ill tell you when Im free. Im like cool.
She never called back.So we haven't spoken then. Now I just heard three days ago she's leaving permanently to go to her hometown, this Friday she's leaving so I want to say my goodbyes even though we have had our differences. I have guts and I don't want to just leave things without making some sort of closure. At least saying a goodbye.
Guys this whole journey has me all lost, I do feel better now. I sound kind of like a pussy and I don't want you feeling sorry for me. But I do want to clarify that as my mind is getting back on track I'm going to be getting back into the game. Reading all my material and I know everything will go back to normal. I want to set a tone for men, an image that can inspire others. A man of confidence , a person other men can come to for guidance. A man who can get laid by any girl, I want to know it all. I will be all that I can, want and need to be. I will see this through. Its been a weird and emotionally journey for me. But I always get back on my feet.
This trial will only make I stronger.