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  • 1 Post By BigKountry87

Thread: regaining your confidence after a 6 year slump

  1. #1
    Sightseaing is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Post regaining your confidence after a 6 year slump

    dear pua's

    when i was younger around 13 years old i had an eccident that blew 2 of my front teeth out your thinking woa thats horrible how are you gonna get girls with a smile like that you can imagine. but lo and behold i managed to get quite a feww girlfriends i was cocky, confident, and didnt care what other poeple tought. i used to get teased at school and made my 'defect' my own everybody loved me for it. sounds pretty good so far right?

    well years pass i get dentures, i have apretty smile, now im 22 no girls, not many friends it seems ive closed myself of of the world and im yearning to have the confidence i had from when i was 13. now im trying to figure out what i used to say or do to get girls back then. so im trying to make the best that i can with my situation now, i rcame to a realization that cant do this alone, and cant do nothing. ive read the book by neil straus (the game) and also the audio book by ekhart thole (the power of now)aswel as napoleon hill
    i think some poeple feel the same way.

    lets figure this out together as i donno if this is a dread or a life story but i hope to get some feedback and learn from each and every one.

    thank you and sencerly

    sightseaing

  2. #2
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    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: regaining your confidence after a 6 year slump

    you're looking to regain confidence? I think I can give you some good ideas.

    1. you need to identify what is making you feel insecure/inadequate.

    2. find solutions to each and every insecurity you come up with.

    3. practice! you have to get out and talk to girls if you want to have them in your life.

    if you're only problem is that you're rusty, I recommend that you go out with only one goal in mind: make new friends!

    friends will give you more social experience than hitting on any number of random girls will.

    talk to anyone and everyone you get a chance to, even if its just some lame small talk. you've got some serious rust to knock away and this is the only way to do it.

    now, when it comes to confidence with women. its usually more a matter of being comfortable/content with yourself.

    don't like your job? find a way to make it seem more interesting or get a new one.

    feeling out of shape? hit the gym.

    feeling ugly? try some different looks with things like hairstyles, facial grooming, and other cosmetic bullshit. (or just learn to accept and appreciate what you look like)

    feeling short? learn to own your height.

    remember when you were 13 with missing teeth? you learned to own who you were. that's what needs to happen again. you've got to accept yourself before you expect others to accept you.

  3. #3
    Sightseaing is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: regaining your confidence after a 6 year slump

    Thanks for your reply let's see.. I'm very vain that's not the problem I know I'm dawn sexy and I have no problem making new friends I guess it's keeping them is the problem because after a couple of weeks communication goes of it starts with one or two days not saying anything and we stop talking. I should probably start up the conversation myself more often and see what goes wrong with the communication. after a while I get boring and run out of things to say. If you read the book the game there is a part in it where they talk about the ADHD game where they take a ball and pass it to anyone, the one that throws the ball has to think of a topic and the one who received the ball has to talk about the topic as if he has ADHD, but I don't have anyone that can play with me, can i use this as an opener maybe? Just go to a random person explain the game and play it. Sounds like a good idea right? or should I use a random frase generator to think of new things to say?

  4. #4
    BigKountry87 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: regaining your confidence after a 6 year slump

    I wouldn't use the ADHD game right away as it can come off as weird and out of left field. Your conversation sounds like you aren't looking for hooks (i think that's what they're called anyway). A hook is a topic or cue that you can use and delve further into. An example would be to ask her where her favorite vacation spot is. Let's say it's Hawaii.

    You: Hey, my name is Sightseaing. I just saw you from over there and I would've kicked myself if I didn't say hi. (or some other opener.)
    Her: Oh, hello, I'm Laura (for example's sake).
    You: I was waiting for a friend and we were gonna go do blah, so I has a minute (or some other time constraint).
    *You and her strike up a conversation*
    You: So,let me ask you, what is your ultimate getaway destination? Like your most favorite place to vacation?
    Her: It would definitely have to be Hawaii (hook). I just love all the scenery (hook 2) and the beaches (Hook 3).

    Now you can go something like,

    You: No way! I was just in Hawaii last year (month, whatever...). I went to this awesome spot, blah blah blah (insert a real or fictional *Interesting* story related to Hawaii, or the scenery, or the beaches. Be sure to paint a vivid picture with your words because women are all about the feelings expressed in the story. That's what catches their attention.)

    If she replies with,

    Her: It's definitely Hawaii (Hook).

    Then you start probing about it,

    You: That's cool. Why do you like Hawaii so much? What about it would make you spend the rest of your days there?

    Her: I just love the scenery (Hook 2) and the beaches (Hook 3). When I was a kid, my parents took me and my brother there (Hook 4/ next topic to switch to.)

    From here you can talk about the scenery and the beaches and why Hawaii is so awesome. Then (don't spend too much time on one subject, or the conversation will dry up), you can talk about her childhood experience and maybe some other things about her childhood. These new topics will open up even more hooks for you to expand on. You get the idea, I assume.

    Also, don't use the "interview" questions unless you have a motive for doing so. These are the "What do you do for a living?" "Where are you from?" style questions that are cliché and dry/shallow subjects. You can expand on these with a story or something, but don't use them as a sole topic for discussion. She'll get bored very quickly from these.

    Be playful and interject a good dose of humor into the conversation. Women love to laugh, but don't become the jester. T-Mal has some great examples of this in his posts.

  5. #5
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: regaining your confidence after a 6 year slump

    about the ADHD game where they take a ball and pass it to anyone, the one that throws the ball has to think of a topic and the one who received the ball has to talk about the topic as if he has ADHD
    first of all, this is just f*cking ignorant. "talk like you have adhd" despicable. I have adhd (though not as severe as some cases) and I can tell you for a fact that I communicate about the same as anyone else. the drill would work, but it should just be "talk like you're on cocaine" or something to that effect.

    I guess it's keeping them is the problem because after a couple of weeks communication goes of it starts with one or two days not saying anything and we stop talking.
    ah, I know exactly where you're coming from. oftentimes, I too forget to maintain my network. I think it comes from being introverted as a child and teenager. I really don't think about people as often as I should. (especially when I'm more focused on working and college) the thing to do, is to a lot a certain amount of time every day just for networking. as in, "every day at 7 o'clock I text several friends to see how they're doing and tell them about what I've been up to" if you're having trouble doing that, you may want to get out more so you have more to talk about.


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