Sup Players? I'm fatcyst, thanks for letting me into your sanctum.
So I'm here because I need help in reading a woman. I never thought I'd go to PUA's for help, but this situation is particularly delicate and time sensitive.
So this girl in question is a Muslim from Sudan who is currently here on a student visa. She completed pre-med, and has come to the States to take some college courses in English. In February she will go back to Sudan and return to USA next fall to finish her medical training and get citizenship. However, she will not be returning to MY state, and is unlikely that I will see her again much -if at all- after she moves. So what I want is a winter-fling, and one where we ultimately part amicably and without hurt feelings. Ergo the clock is already ticking.
The way we met was through our company. We're vendors that go to different stores and demo different products. We don't always have other company associates with us, and in the month since I've started working I have yet to meet a supervisor face-to-face. So when she started working, I trained her. I am not her supervisor, obviously.
If she or I were two different people, I would already know that the deal was sealed. The problem is that we are from wildly different backgrounds which makes me worry that I may be misreading her. Mixed signals I suppose... and because she's a sort of co-worker, I don't want to make a move where unwelcome and risk my job.
She has only been here for 3 months and I'm her only real close friend. She has told me that she is not looking for a boyfriend and has mentioned that she has already shot other guys down who pursued her for that. She says its because she just wants to focus on her school and she doesn't have much time here anyway. She does not want to worry about boys but just focus on her schooling for now. Very reasonable of her. Generally, I would take a girl who volunteered such information to be sending me the message to back off, however, she has given me plenty more signals that she does want more than friendship from me.
We have spent time alone together (in my place, on my bed) she brought up making a list of 10 things to do together before she goes (such as camping) she has told me how much she hates people touching her, yet has hugged me, allowed me to take her by the hands, put my arm around her shoulders and her waist, and "play-fight"ed with me (pushing each other around). She has held my gaze for unnaturally long periods of time, she doesn't want me taking breaks at work without her, she complains about missing me when I'm not around. I remarked at one point that "you ARE a naughty girl, aren't you?" to which she coyly affirmed. We have deep and complex conversation, not just about what we want out of life but thorough critiques on how societies and systems function.
Sounds like a girl who wants the D, right? But the first time we hung out, outside of work, it all kind of came to a halt in my head after I asked her what her most embarrassing moment was. After a few typical BS responses, she told me that the last time she was embarrassed was the first time she was ever kissed in public- right before she came to the States, THREE MONTHS AGO. SERIOUSLY?!?! And that's when I thought "OH fuck. Is it possible that this girl is THAT innocent that she really is missing all the innuendos and sexual situations I'm leading her into?"
A girl who thinks getting kissed in public is a big deal, who (while never directly calling herself a virgin) said that her culture "forbids" sex before marriage? I don't know how to safely gauge her comfort zone. So far I know I haven't abused that, but I haven't kissed her yet...
So... any advice and insight on how to approach things going forward would be appreciated.