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Thread: My first week

  1. #1
    Walter North is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default My first week

    This is Walt, I have started my divorce process and tried to go out and socialize. Went to a contra dance and enjoyed myself, then had a nice conversation with a woman at a professional event. Everything indirect, but engaging and eye contact.

    This morning I sent an IM to a friend/acquaintance that I have been attracted to for some time. I asked her to dinner and she told me she's not interested. On one level, I'm glad I tried and at least got some clarity, but man it really stings. Any advice, other than try again? My response was along the lines of "no hard feelings, thanks for the reply" but my ego is pretty banged.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: My first week

    Ah the first initial time can be a little hard on the ego, but it gets tough quickly man. How is your game naturally? Do you talk to a lot of girls? What specific problems do you think you have man?

    Honestly, you don't have to do a bunch of fancy dancy things, there are just some specific fundamentals you have to learn about how girls work. It doesn't take too long

  3. #3
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    Default Re: My first week

    Quote Originally Posted by lifestylebible View Post
    Honestly, you don't have to do a bunch of fancy dancy things, there are just some specific fundamentals you have to learn about how girls work. It doesn't take too long
    I have to disagree with this misinformation. There is no set way a woman 'works'. A man will spend his entire life trying to work out what a woman is all about and still bang his head against a brick wall.

    Work on your inner value and get comfortable with being social then go be bold.
    You will never do ANYTHING in this world without COURAGE. - Aristotle

  4. #4
    Walter North is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: My first week

    I think my biggest issue is inner game. I'm pretty introverted by nature, but over the years I'm okay in social situations. My biggest insecurity is my weight, but I'm actually a decent looking guy. I'd say physically sort of between David Bonearz and James Gandolfini. My target HB is probably different than most guys here, professional in her 30s or 40s with some curves.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: My first week

    Quote Originally Posted by Walter North View Post
    I think my biggest issue is inner game. I'm pretty introverted by nature, but over the years I'm okay in social situations. My biggest insecurity is my weight, but I'm actually a decent looking guy. I'd say physically sort of between David Bonearz and James Gandolfini. My target HB is probably different than most guys here, professional in her 30s or 40s with some curves.
    Inner value is everyone's biggest issue. We all have areas we can improve.

    Being introverted isn't a disability (I am also introverted) you just need time to recharge and regroup by yourself and prefer to stay at home.

    I'm not sure how confident you are at social events but being introverted can work in your favor big time... when in a group discussing a topic, utilise your silence (and thinking time) to create mystery. Then ocassionally make a comment that is thoughtful/deep/funny... it unsettles the blabbermouths and those who are clamoring for attention and draws the awe (depending on how profound you want to go) and attention of whomever you desire.
    You will never do ANYTHING in this world without COURAGE. - Aristotle

  6. #6
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    Default Re: My first week

    Mystique,

    Allow me to reinterpret.
    When you begin you should be focusing on changing the way you think about women, and learning fundamental skills such as non neediness, abundance, inner confidence, body language, tonality, achieving higher value, and social skills. It all sounds daunting but it's actually pretty easy

    You're correct all girls are different. But they are more alike than they are different. Another thing to learn and explore is calibration with different girls.

    Cheers man!
    -lifestyle

  7. #7
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    Default Re: My first week

    Quote Originally Posted by lifestylebible View Post
    Mystique,

    Allow me to reinterpret.
    When you begin you should be focusing on changing the way you think about women, and learning fundamental skills such as non neediness, abundance, inner confidence, body language, tonality, achieving higher value, and social skills. It all sounds daunting but it's actually pretty easy

    You're correct all girls are different. But they are more alike than they are different. Another thing to learn and explore is calibration with different girls.

    Cheers man!
    -lifestyle
    Never assume girls or women are easy to figure out.

    There are techniques, yes, but a woman sees through these (speaking from experience) as we are very intuitive. It's better to work on self improvement (inner value) and be yourself.

    I find some of your statements to be just flippant. No disrespect dude, it's just how you're coming across. I've been getting gamed for 30 years now. I've seen a lot of false confidence in guys. Which is why inner value, confidence and an unshakeable belief in yourself should be the ultimate goal.

  8. #8
    Sam981 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: My first week

    And with all due respect to everyone, allow me to disagree..lol (on being introverted)

    For a girl, yes being an introvert can work.

    For a guy, I guess not. Reason is that this is not only limited to interactions but to all behaviours which in turn affect the lifestyle. For a guy, being introverted means not being used to opening up (not being vulnerable), taking the lead and being the "giver" as to say. It may sound a bit odd but I can tell from experience that it can really fuck up your personality. That's just my personal opinion anyways.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: My first week

    I agree sam. Not that people haven't had success being introverted, but seemingly taking control and work on extrovertion is a great skill to learn. You gain control in your interactions, and make more decisions in your life.. instead of passively allowing things to happen. You begin to build your own network on who you would like to allow in your life, as opposed to allowing others decide for you. But these are all opinions based off my own experiences from very introvert to very extrovert.

    Lifestyle

  10. #10
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    Default Re: My first week

    That being said, you don't have to be a drunken blabbermouth like mystique talked about. Just not being afraid to hold back and express yourself really works in your benefit. Most people who are introverted have really good things to say, but a hard time on communicating them properly. To become extroverted is to have to ability to speak out and express yourself and not hold back.


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