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  1. #1
    phoenixguy69 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Out of a long term relationship, not sure how to be single

    As the title says, thats my situation. Been trying to 'play the field' but pretty difficult. I am in decent shape (do gym, kung fu and jui jitsu), run my own contracting business but very introverted which makes it harder for me to socialise.

    Don't want to overload myself with pick up information as that will make me overthink and freeze (learnt from martial arts), where is a good place to start?

    I watched some of Todd Valentines stuff, he seems cool.

  2. #2
    bojan.95 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Out of a long term relationship, not sure how to be single

    Quote Originally Posted by phoenixguy69 View Post

    Don't want to overload myself with pick up information.
    Thats a big mistake, equal of going in the store asking seller about product and in the end not buying anything

    IDK man, how you can overload your brain, i dont think you are brain limited, if you have problems with freeze haha, well there are books for that too lazy dude.
    So, understand this, basic of PUA are in books, if you dont want to read, learn terminology how do you think you will get help?

    If you want to watch videos, okay cool, but videos are on youtube (some of them) GL.

  3. #3
    bojan.95 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Out of a long term relationship, not sure how to be single

    This is a good place to start:

    My book list for you

  4. #4
    THE100ACREWOODS's Avatar
    THE100ACREWOODS is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Out of a long term relationship, not sure how to be single

    Hey man.
    I feel you with the LTR and its tough getting your land legs back.
    But number 1 Is to stay actively single - making moves and hitting your dating and social goals.
    Id recommend if you are SUPER busy its time to dive in to online game and setting up activities through that.

  5. #5
    pua_wannabe is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Out of a long term relationship, not sure how to be single

    I would recommend to just try and be active socially even if all you got is an hour a day, don't get me wrong I understand that you are a busy dude, find the time.
    Take her off that farking pedestal!

    “The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.”
    ― Flannery O'Connor

  6. #6
    LA.OC.Skater is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Out of a long term relationship, not sure how to be single

    I am also introverted. I can give you some quick facts right here and now. One is, women want to be approached. They also want sex, though saying so is generally taboo. Another is, things are not as bleak as they seem.

    You WILL need to invest some time. In PU, there is opening, escalating, and closing. You want to concentrate on opening. To do this you need Kino, a place to meet women. Maybe a swap meet, or a street fair, or even the mall. Also look up a PUA video on Compliance and Consistency. Perhaps look up some conversation starters

    Another important thing for starting out is Outcome Independence. I used to fixate on a particular girl on seeing her. Oh, she looks so pretty, she seems really nice, and I build her up in my head so much, I fumble when I talk to her if I talk to her. It is just a girl. Relax. Be confident. One tool to do this is IDGAS. I don't give a shit. I really think that has helped my confidence. I approached 3 women a few nights back. Average looking. They shut me down rather rudely. My huge victory was, no problem. My mental response was, Ok. What's next. Of course I have had many very nice interactions. I just remember those. Hey ladies, I was just being friendly. Your loss. And no big deal to me. Oh, which brings me to another point, and you will have to do this. Record your interactions. Record what goes on in a spreadsheet. Then you can review things you have done right and mistakes you have made. I had a bad run for a few days. But I sure felt better when I looked back and found a LONGER good run. So record your contacts.

    And you are REALLY going to have to invest some time. Maybe 30-40 hours. You will be glad you did. I have not gotten a phone number yet, much less had sex. But my interactions are light years better than before. Before I had some information and tricks, and a PLAN, I used to get shut down, and rudely at that, just for trying and having a friendly conversation. Now I know who to approach, and some to not approach beforehand. My rude shutdown ratio is about 5%. So yeah, gotta invest some time.


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