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Thread: 'I want to be better' Moderately successful first outing.

  1. #1
    Dangerous is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Red face 'I want to be better' Moderately successful first outing.

    Hi all,

    About me;
    I'm 27, I'm 6'1" and I would say I am very good looking (other's would agree haha). That's not being big headed it's the truth (if only I could take that self belief into social situations).
    My problem? My confidence is crap. I'm an ex fat kid and I've never been confident to go up and talk to girls. Before my previous relationship I had slept with 1 girl. I have managed 3 since in 3 months but this was more down to luck and set-ups than judgement and I didn't actively go out and 'pick them up'.

    I don't know what to say to women I like in new situations and I tend to stumble on my words. I can tell when girls fancy me but I was always crap at pulling before my ex and 6 years later I'm no better. My problem is approach, opening and then getting conversation flowing. I feel if I get this bit nailed I'm not worried about kissing and closing.

    I split up from my ex of 6 years a few months back. As I was clearing out the bookshelf I noticed she had a copy of "the game", so naturally I though that my need was greater than hers, so I borrowed it.
    I guess she figured before meeting me she would get wise to see if guys were using the material on her.....she would have never have known even if they had haha

    Anyway I'm half way through the book now after starting it last week! I'm addicted.
    I had my first relatively successful outing on Saturday. In fact I class it as a success for me.

    I was determined to go out on Saturday however after 6 years of being in a relationship in a new city and largely concentrating on training, I realise I don't have a huge amount of friends here. Those friends I do have are married and or have kids. Bugger!!

    Well I decided to man the F*ck up I had a few drinks and ventured into the city on my own. Not confident to go to the nice area where all the women are I went to a metal bar where I knew I would at the very least have people to talk to.
    After spending most the night speaking to a bloke I met at the bar while trying to see any potential targets (still had no idea what the hell i was going to say), I spotted a gorgeous blonde girl at the bar. It definitely didn't look like she should be there compared to all the other bunch (metal heads) that were there.
    I noticed she was sat with a friend, I knew I had to try and speak to her or the night would have been a failure.....Her friend got up and walked off.
    Fuck this was it, I had to do something.
    I had no idea what I was going to say. As I walked up some guy waited for me to get by as if i was walking past her table however I walked up to her and said "Hay how are you?, mind if I sit here?" while pointing at the bench next to her and simultaneously moving to sit down.
    She made some objections about her friend is with her but too late I was sat there. I believe I said "its ok I just want to chat for a few minutes".
    I remember starting a bit weak and timid but before long we were chatting easily. She was from brazil, her friend came back and sat the other side of me and it was easy. The conversation was mainly me asking questions about her. I need to work on this! But I was in luck as english is her second language so I survived.
    When the night came to the end I suggested a smoke before she left at which point we spoke some more and exchanged numbers.

    In hind sight I was very lucky I didn't get told to F*ck off. It was very bold of me to walk straight over. I couldn't remember anything useful apart from the fact I had to approach her and it didn't matter if I got shrugged off by her. I was happy enough actually going into town on my own let a lone speaking to a beautiful girl and getting her number. Unfortunately I have Jack Daniels to help with numbing my fear receptors. Are you supposed to drink and sarg? haha

    I have so much to learn, I can't rely on my looks and JD and really need to learn some openers that work and also ploys and convo starters to get girls to give me enough time to show them some personality and the 'value I can add' to them. To be honest I don't even know if I have the balls to try a lot of the things in PUA guides. Maybe I need a decent wingman to vibe off. We will see!

    I have a feeling there are going to be some terrible failure stories to follow this one! haha I'm out this Saturday, hopefully with a wing man, so I will try and use some openers and approach more than one woman.

    I want to be better and I am better!

    I have no idea if anyone will read this as it's long as f*ck but it's great therapy!

    If you did, good effort!


  2. #2
    Alergy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default Re: 'I want to be better' Moderately successful first outing.

    Hey, right off the bat - awesome that you're diving right into this, but I wouldn't place too much importance on opening and always knowing what to say afterwards, yes - it will help you with some of the Approach Anxiety at first, but once it lowers I suggest that you discard most/all of them and try to approach with a simple "Hi" or whatever comes to your mind. It's not just the opener itself that does the magic but your vibe, your energy, the way you say it, what emotions you project to her and what are your intentions. If you simply said "Hi" with the most welcoming tone, voice and body language than any girl would be a lot more receptive to it than if you found some awesome opener, focused all your attention on it and said it nervously and indicated to them that you're simply trying to get a reaction from them. You're currently reading the game, that's fine and all - that's one way to look at pick-up, a more technical, unnatural part of it, but after you're done I highly recommend you look into more of what natural game has to offer and see what's best for you. Up until then, have fun, nice field-report, waiting for your next one Sunday morning, best of luck 2 ya,

    with all no-homo love,


  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Alergy For This Useful Post:

    Dangerous (08-18-2016)

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