Introducing myself.. and my problem (long read)

Ladies and Gentlemen,

First of all i'm a fob so excuse my poor writing style. I hope some of you appreciate where I'm coming from and the struggle it took for me to join and type this. Took a lot of courage I tell you that (which explains why I wont say my real name/location/etc)!
In short I am pretty pathetic (i already know it, so dont pity me please. it makes it harder). I have dated 2 girls, neither of which I had sex with. One was a super church goer (i'm not religious) so we didnt do anything, the other one is an interesting story. (below is the details. read it or skip if you want):

Me
a computer nerd (programmer). Skinny, relatively short, not trying to copy "The Game" but i do have the biggest nose on the west coast, and my hair is thinning just like "Style". Imagine me as a scrawny dude with a huge beer belly, balding, 27 year old, i got twigs for arms. you get the idea.
I am very very scared of rejection. I take it to heart and it lives with me for weeks. Like if i offer help to someone and they reject it, i take it to heart. You realize, as i do, that i do have a problem!

2nd gf story - the hair that broke the camel's back
My gf never "let me in", and for 2 years she kept on coming up with excuses. This is a crazy story that no one believes except those who were with me (i still dont believe it myself). On new years eve she said she's spending the night with family. So i went with my friends to a "rave" (yes i'm a nerd, a programmer, btw). as we were exiting the hotel room to go down to the Rave the next door opens, and i see my gf with another guy (taller, buff, has style, etc.) i realized what was going on. It was a very sh1tty night, but i mostly was mad at myself. I met up with my friends at the rave. Those guys are ripped, like freaking Brad Pitt in "Fightclub" (my fav movie). I sat there in my sorrow watching them hooking up with girls left and right. wasnt the easiest night on me, but like i said i was mostly mad at myself.

"enough is enough", i said.

The Change
no more drinking, no more beer, no more junk food, none of that. Strict diet, i've been having protein shakes replacing almost every meal for almost 5 months now. I got some meat on me, i'm getting ripped, i am going to the gym 2x a day (cardio, then lifting). I'm watching what i eat, and today i even got complimented on my 8-pack. This was so much hard work, so much sweat, so much time spent on body building forums, and so much money spent on supplements (freaking rip-off). I've literally been eating chicken for like 4 months every day now. I kid you not. Why all that? Coz i am tired of being stepped on. I want to be somebody. I'm not like hot right now or anything, but I am definitely changed. A girl randomly came up to me once and asked me to make out with her. some cougar at a bar approached me and said the funniest line ever "nice guns, can i get tickets to the gun show?" i laughed my butt off, but didnt know what to say.
I was in vegas recently, very messed up, very extremely drunk, i have no idea how it happened but i found myself kissing a girl in her room. She's a 8-10 (depending who you ask). she's way out of my league. I have no idea how it happened. when i realized i was kissing her, i freaked out and ran out and back to my room. Then i lied to my friend and said that I did her (you can go ahead and judge me, i deserve it). So i am guessing that when i am completely drunk i do something right. No idea what it is.

The Game
One of my friends was joking with me, and mentioned "The Game". I thought he was talking about the movie with Michael Douglas (awesome movie, btw). then i realized there's this book. I picked it up 2 days ago and still reading it. I had no idea there was PUA's, or a community, or none of that. So i thought before i spend money and go to a shrink, i might as well ask for help on those sites. I would appreciate it if you help me and not suggest the shrink, because i already know im going there if you guys cannot help.

My goal
Not necessarily be a PUA, but really know what to say, what to do, kill the fear of rejection, stand up for myself, and stop letting people piss on me. I have been reading the forums, and will continue to do so, but if you have words of advice (that are not mocking words, or hurtful words) please let me know how you can help.

I'm not sure if i would go out with anyone online to "the field". at this point im too scared of even the thought.

thank you so much in advance!

"somebody"-wannabe

8 views, 0 replies, i guess i could be more specific in what i need for help:
1. scenarios, routines, etc. to approach/open. where i live i see lots of 2-girl groups, you know those are going out to chill, most likely single, and definitely looking to be hit on. idk if that helps lol
i need to learn lots of ESP sh1t, routines, scenarios to fill about 10-15 minutes. i think if i can hang that long i will be more comfortable to open up, be less nervous and just be myself.

2. i might be mistaken, but i think white girls, even the hot ones are pretty easy to get thru if i gather the courage (thanks to alcohol), but asian ones are what im scared sh1tless of... are they any different? im not asian, so i think that's a negative. but hell, if it's more challenging im down for the challenge... might as well

3. every time i tell myself im going to gather the courage and go talk to random girls, i get scared i guess and i tell myself it's not the right time/place. example, i saw a few girls at the gym today, and every time i go "it's not the time for that, concentrate on workout"... i know it's just an excuse, i wont lie to myself

i guess number three of those points was my sticking issue - i dont have a real problem talking to people or opening up 2 or even 3 sets (if im feeling particularly bold). aa was my big issue and it still is but i know how to handle it now. Basically i went into my town centre on a random day off work and went around asking women to touch my nipple. An example of which is below:

Me to 2 girls: 'Hey. Let me ask - Do either of you want to touch my nipple?'
Both started laughing and one said: 'No thanks!'
Me: 'But it's a nice nipple, are you sure I can't tempt you?'
Same one again: 'I'm pretty sure!' (still laughing at this point)
Me: 'Ok, have a good day then!'

I wandered round doing this for about an hour to pretty girls, ugly girls, older women, single mothers etc

The key thing that it got into my head was that i wasnt going out to # close so it took all of the pressure away and by saying something completely outlandish it made me realise that I shouldnt be bothered about talking to people on a night out. If I can ask someone carrying grocery bags if they want to touch my nipple - approaching someone in a bar will at least get me a reasonable conversation!

Not sure if that will be any help to you but it sure as hell sorted my AA out!!

assuming there's no legal implications to that (sexual harassment?), what's next? you just leave? i'm fine with a practice drill expecting no outcome, but it's weird as hell if you ask that then just walk away, dont you want to build a convo from there?

also, do you wear something with nipple cutouts?

Haha I kept it short and sweet and moved on... i didnt do it to someone else while the previous target was still around though! I plan to tackle my AFCness one step at a time and this was my approach to my aa - It took me so far out of my Comfort zone to do it that anything else is natural to me now.

Im pretty sure that with one or two of them i would have been able to build conversation with but that wasnt my aim - It was also a lesson for me in body language and voice control. It would take too long to go into the exact method of me asking them here but if you want to know i can send you the routine... there was some ground work beforehand otherwise it would be a little weird to just go up, ask and then walk off!

One person actually did touch it(!) which almost freaked me out... one person asked said no and asked why i was asking - i said i was conducting a social awkwardness experiment for a pyschology degree (complete crap but it was an escape route in a difficult situation)

I couldnt possibly comment on the legal ramifications of what i was doing though!

and no nipple cut-out tops either, just tassles that i save for special occasions

thanks for your words man! that's awesome direction. Yah man, feel free to share whatever you think helps. I am trying to work on routines. i went out over the past 3 nights and now i am finding negging is very effective, being sarcastic, and giving my back to girls at the bar is definitely stirring curiosity in girls.

My problem right now is cold-approaching, or just walking up to random people i dont know. i do leave myself too much time to think about approaching, so there goes the 3 second rule out the window.

other than that, i think i need routines, and need to teach myself not to pay attention to the target... that's a hard one for me

Wow i agree man. Props to the post. it takes balls to admit it. lots of people tell themselves that they know women and are just fine. Personally you could first start with aa. One way for you, since you do have a nice body, is go up and ask them a opinion question with no outcome in mind. Like "hey do you like a guy with abs or a guy with a little fat so he can cuddle." then say something about wanting to touch your abs and bam you start getting comfortable cold appoaching a set even with the outcome of rejection and not number closing.

Ok next is knowing how to approach. First off just learn the three different ways and the benefits of them. I usually use direct approaches with a single girl and a opinionated or indirect with a set of 2 or more. A single girl, it shows focus on her and allows her to take the compliment of wanting to talk to her. The set, you want to setup yorself up for success when the friends go for the cockblock. so basically think of ways you can directly cold Approach A Girl and then be quick on your toes for an indirect or opinionated opener.
After you get the approach down you need to know how to keep momentum and seperate yourself from the AFC's and then move on from there. You have to develop high values, tease, be cocky funny, playful and overall different and memorable. Good ways to do this is just be different. I have went so far as to talk about stripper names and then i get the # close and then text her later with her stripper name. i am memorable and then it brings up positive feelings from our interaction.
After knowing how to open and keep momentum you need to know to get the number by asking and handing her the phone and then to stop from wrong numbers i always tell them ill call it cause i dont want you to think im stalking you or anything, so you need to know its hercules (my stripper name). lol
After number closing you need to learn text game. text game is all about being different, keeping her interest and overall developing rapport, Sexual Tension and overall attraction towards you. BEing different and memorable are the biggest things about text game.
After text game you need to then to get the date and how to go about it. there is a post about a first date blueprint that bill preston has and if you could provide the link that would be awesome bill.
then from there its all you. there is so so so muich more but thats the jist of solid game that isnt too complicated and that it does decently for beginners

thanks man. yep, that's exactly how i failed over the weekend. i got a black tie on a black shirt, and had a hat. as soon as i open with something i go asking opinion on the hate or the tie or something, then move on to something else.. at THIS particular point i find myself stalling. i have 2 options
1. ask questions about herself, but thought that was uninteresting. tried it and i failed after a while. felt like interrogating
2. stop talking and turn my back to the bar or talk to someone else for a bit... i dont think that's working either...

the other thing that pissed me off, is the girls i was partying with were russian. those farkers speak almost no english and everything you say/do they talk russian among themselves for a minute... i felt that was a tad rude, didnt know how to make them speak english, or stop talking sh1t...