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  1. #1
    rzimmerman Guest

    Default Not new. Just stuck.

    What's up guys.

    I think I am rock bottom right now life wise.

    I am just having a huge problem getting that female energy in my life. It has been since late July of last year since I've had sex. And that was with the only person I have ever been with, the mother of my 5 month old son.

    We were together for about 2 years. We split up last year around August, *I was being a beta male, killed the attraction, loved and cared for her so much that I was afraid to lose her and you know where that leads*, I have been seeing her more with my son in the last month during visitations and found out about 2 weeks ago that she has another guy in her life that she is crazy about so, after the initial shock and much pain, I decided to move on fully and just be the best father to my son I can be.

    I have been reading a million things, HOW TO BE A ALPHA MALE, SECRETS OF THE A GAME, HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE, etc., but to put it as a PUA I talked to on the phone put it, "I can have so much knowledge but without real world experience, it ain't worth Sh1t."

    I think I'm just stuck in a rut not knowing where to start. My confidence is not a problem. I can chat up and befriend almost anyone. I am socially fearless and don't really give a Sh1t on outcomes. If it goes my way, Awesome. If not, oh well, their loss, I'm an awesome guy.

    I think it is my life situation overall. Even though I "moved on", I still think of her daily and beat myself up for the simple mistakes I made. It is consuming me. *The actual reason I am up typing this is because I just had a dream that me and the ex were having break up sex and I woke up knowing that I am in a pretty lonely and sad place right now.*

    The job situation for me isn't that great. I work at a warehouse bringing home around 350/week. After child support, bills, and living, I have next to nothing. The work schedule is Fri-Mon, 730am-6pm. So not only does it drain me, it makes it difficult for me to get out when most of the females are out without getting killed in cover charges at the bars around here. The earlier days of the week, no women anywhere at any bars or clubs.

    I am working on improving my life job wise and opportunity wise, but that is a work in progress. Rome wasn't built in a day.

    What I am trying to ask basically is, how should I start doing this? Having women in my life would greatly improve it. It would help me with the oneitis for the ex, get that confidence back that you get from being with a woman, and just make me feel better about myself.

    I go out, talk to women, and try to improve things, but I really feel lost and lonely and I am just plain miserable. *which I do not give off that vibe or talk about it unless it is with my Mum or Therapist*

    What would you guys suggest on doing to get out there and just start improving that area of my life? Do you go to certain places? Should I just put it all on the line and go 110% in every interaction?

    Some suggestions would be appreciated. I apologize about the length of the post. I got a million things going on right now *aside from my son, mostly negative Sh1t* and I tried to condense this as best as I possibly can.

    Thanks,
    Matt

  2. #2
    crobinson1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Not new. Just stuck.

    Matt,

    I am very impressed and feel like i want to help you fully. I was in the exact same situation. I was with my ex for three years and had plans on moving to a different place so i could go to one of the most pretigous engineering schools in the US. 12 days before we moved out she broke it off, i felt so bad and couldnt even keep it together like you. I was crazy about her and she broke me to pieces. I saw that i was the exact same beta male. I still today think about the things i messed up and if i fixed them i would still be happily in love with her. She was the girl that hurt me so much i decided to join the community.

    Best thing about your situation is that you dont need bars or clubs to pick up women. Tons of men think about where to get the most attractive and amazing women. The answer is places where the spend everyday. So instead of clubs or bars, try malls, shopping places, schools, and then just anywhere. You will always find amazing single women just doing their everyday thing.

    You are joining the community for the same reason as me and i feel compelled to help you as much as possible.

    Just ask me anything and ill make one of the best posts ever. I would also suggest checking out some really big and amazing posts. Some things like cold reading and pandoras box, day game, and other threads.
    I live in my reality and you’re a guest

  3. #3
    tcomea2 is offline PUA Forums VIP Member
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    Default Re: Not new. Just stuck.

    Sounds rough dude. Good thing is you see where your problem is and your willing to fix it. Much like crob and yourself I got unto the game to move on from an ex of 5 years. Also like crob said anything you need ... Ask !

    The questions I want to ask are what steps have you taken so far. Let us get a feel for where you are and then we can help guide you to where you want to be.

    One thing I sugest would be to take some time and write down your goals. What do you want out of the game? Where do u want to be at in your life.

    If you go back and read some of my posts you'll see I'm big on inner game. I honestly believe that you can properly love someone or game someone till you are happy with yourself. As for this let me know where I can help.

  4. #4
    crobinson1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Not new. Just stuck.

    I completely agree with tcomea. The first thing you need to do is work on your inner game, try to forget your ex, try to forget how lonely you are and then you can improve your game. Improving your inner game and yourself is usually a good first step. But i also agree on learning about the game and getting your feet wet by approaching women and getting over ur Approach Anxiety.

    After you figure out what you want to ask, ill try to answer your questions as much as possible.
    I live in my reality and you’re a guest

  5. #5
    rzimmerman Guest

    Default Re: Not new. Just stuck.

    Thanks a ton fellas.

    I actually do affirmations daily to get myself on the right track *I literally wake up every day and say "Today is going to be a great day"*, to get myself in the right Mindset. If I feel down or start thinking too much about the ex, I will do some affirmations to get my mind off of her and back into me.

    I realize that my positive energy comes from within and the only person who can make myself happy is me.

    I have not tried meeting women anywhere but bars, clubs, and the workplace. And the situation is the same at all 3, for a few hotties, there is a line of guys trying to get their attention.

    I then realize that I got to stand out from the pack. And that is where I am at.

    Physically I am fit, gorgeous *I have been told that by women, unfortunately none I am attracted to*, funny, smart, and have sharp wit.

    But I am caught in this vicious cycle of thinking to myself that I have to blow this woman's mind or she will throw me in the "bland" category with the other men that have approached her that day. So I spend my nights trying to think of routines, trying to memorize already proven techniques, thinking of things that can make for interesting convo that will appeal to a woman emotionally, I'm just cramming and then forgetting most of it.

    I have gotten #'s from 3 seperate 19 year old Women who were totally into me, *obvious ioi's* and then I would blow it via telephone or text and nothing would really progress and they would lose interest.

    It's hard to explain but I think I am giving off a weird vibe. Not a desperate or creepy vibe, but something that just shuts it down. I will admit that in the interactions I think to myself "Wow, I could nail whateverhernameis soon and that is one step closer to moving forward and away from the ex."

    I am gonna spend this week just getting a game plan together. From rounding up enough cash to get a decent outfit to what type of openers I should use and how every interaction should go to get a Number Close. Like a rough outline.

    I would like to get a successful lay before the end of the month. The thought of going 1 year without sex bothers me.

    I have my personal goals lined up to move on with life, but this is definitely near the top to help me move on bc I am heartbroken and do feel very sad for losing the family I wanted. Something that meant everything to me.

    But I deserve nothing less than the best and I plan to keep working at it every day no matter what. My son, fulfilling my potential in life, and my happiness are everything to me now.

    I think I'm going to dig around here for a while and start taking notes. Then just going out into the field and applying those notes and just learning from experience.

    How did you guys go about your situations at first? I am curious as to how you developed your games skills.

    How did you guys cope with losing your ex loves? Did the game help you move on from that part of your life?

  6. #6
    crobinson1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Not new. Just stuck.

    I just jumped in fully and surrounded myself with game. I started feeling good when i learned stuff, applied it and it worked. that alone helped me start moving on. I actually for a little while thought i was ruined for every girl after my ex but now i know im not. Sometimes i admit i go AFC and its hard to sway from that until its out of my system.

    I still have not coped, i still havent fully let go. I kept her number in my phone and i sometimes text her because i still have feelings for my ex. I just know that when im with other women that im trully interested in, i dont think about her at all. Thats how i know i have kind of gotten over her and i know sometime soon ill be fully over her. and the game has helped me move on from the part of my life cause its given me the confidence to know i can be amazing with women and get the girl i deserve.

    As far as starting game, start improving your inner game, and a good lay might help. so heres what to do. since you forget things easily i would say have a small notepad to write stuff on and make quick annotated notes on things to say, or routines so you can read those just before the approach. Since your first starting, maybe use a preopener cause that will Take Away the anxiety of a full approach and then open her with whatever you usually do. What you want to do is get her number, text for a couple days and then get a date with her and follow some steps to try and get a solid fuck close.

    I would check out bill prestons first date blueprint cause that clearly puts what you need to do to build her up sexually, have a great time and then end usually with a good fuck.

    But as far as them losing interest, thats where improving your inner game happens. Girls dont want to be part of your life if its boring, so start doing stuff that is fun exciting or something girls would like. So when you talk to them and hold a strong frame, you will show them what its like being a part of your life. so just try gewtting your feet wet and approaching women, try improving your inner game by being more interesting and exciting and then you will just naturally progress.

    I am proud of your outlook. i feel like when i read your posts i actually here the tone and can feel what your saying. you have got to be one of the true guys thats using the game for exactly i was, to improve myself, get over my ex, and get a girl you deserve. You will get where you want to be, just dont be in such a rush i can see if you could do something to know game in a day, you would do whatever, it takes time. Just learn and dont rush it.
    I live in my reality and you’re a guest

  7. #7
    tcomea2 is offline PUA Forums VIP Member
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    Default Re: Not new. Just stuck.

    Hey man sorry took so long to get back, crazy weekend…

    First off like crob said, great attitude! Keep that up and try to stay focused on being happy and possitave. That will convey into your game. Its all about frame control.

    Second, Where I started was that I am one of those guys who has low social fears so it is easy for me to open a set and not worry about blowing out. So for me it was about finding the hook point. The point where they don’t want me to leave and they work for my interaction with them. I am still working on this and it is a work in progress. The game has helped me move on no doubt. I think the biggest thing it did was just rebuild my confidence. Not by the sex, or multiple women, but by reminding me of who I am and what I am. Once again it about frame control. It also didn’t hurt when I farked her best friend…

    Like we said already the best thing you can do Is work on your inner so you can run solid game in the field. Right now in the field all I would be working on is opening and getting to a Hook Point. If you can do that affectively you are on a great path. Also if you do it well its going to make you stand out. Try not to rely on your looks but make your words and actions work for you.

    Good luck! Give us a field report some time so we can help you out.

  8. #8
    Pua Scientist Guest

    Default Re: Not new. Just stuck.

    i personally find a book called the 7 habits of highly effective people to be the best inner game in the world, NY times best seller for years with more than 15 million copies sold. It is very understandable and absolutely amazing. It helps you feel completely filled with joy and life fulfillment and with a understanding of everything incorporated into your life.

    I have felt your pain, i have been there, still i feel it a little, but on a scale from one to 10 ten being the most painful and 1 being the barely feeling mark then i give it a 3 because of this book

    IF you ever want to talk or anything just private message me or ill give you my number, during my "dark period" just like your having, i really wish i had someone to talk too so just an open invite if you need it.
    Last edited by Pua Scientist; 06-07-2010 at 10:21 PM.

  9. #9
    crobinson1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Not new. Just stuck.

    Quote Originally Posted by Pua Scientist View Post
    i personally find a book called the 7 habits of highly effective people to be the best inner game in the world, NY times best seller for years with more than 15 million copies sold. It is very understandable and absolutely amazing. It helps you feel completely filled with joy and life fulfillment and with a understanding of everything incorporated into your life.

    I have felt your pain, i have been there, still i feel it a little, but on a scale from one to 10 ten being the most painful and 1 being the barely feeling mark then i give it a 3 because of this book

    IF you ever want to talk or anything just private message me or ill give you my number, during my "dark period" just like your having, i really wish i had someone to talk too so just an open invite if you need it.
    same here bro, actually if anyone wants i can put my number out there and if you guys want to text me in field while your working a set or something or in progress at a girl in the club, i can help you out. just always put your from the forums and a quick explanation and ill try to reply as soon as possible.

    just private message me and ill give it to you.
    I live in my reality and you’re a guest


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