What's up guys.
I think I am rock bottom right now life wise.
I am just having a huge problem getting that female energy in my life. It has been since late July of last year since I've had sex. And that was with the only person I have ever been with, the mother of my 5 month old son.
We were together for about 2 years. We split up last year around August, *I was being a beta male, killed the attraction, loved and cared for her so much that I was afraid to lose her and you know where that leads*, I have been seeing her more with my son in the last month during visitations and found out about 2 weeks ago that she has another guy in her life that she is crazy about so, after the initial shock and much pain, I decided to move on fully and just be the best father to my son I can be.
I have been reading a million things, HOW TO BE A ALPHA MALE, SECRETS OF THE A GAME, HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE, etc., but to put it as a PUA I talked to on the phone put it, "I can have so much knowledge but without real world experience, it ain't worth Sh1t."
I think I'm just stuck in a rut not knowing where to start. My confidence is not a problem. I can chat up and befriend almost anyone. I am socially fearless and don't really give a Sh1t on outcomes. If it goes my way, Awesome. If not, oh well, their loss, I'm an awesome guy.
I think it is my life situation overall. Even though I "moved on", I still think of her daily and beat myself up for the simple mistakes I made. It is consuming me. *The actual reason I am up typing this is because I just had a dream that me and the ex were having break up sex and I woke up knowing that I am in a pretty lonely and sad place right now.*
The job situation for me isn't that great. I work at a warehouse bringing home around 350/week. After child support, bills, and living, I have next to nothing. The work schedule is Fri-Mon, 730am-6pm. So not only does it drain me, it makes it difficult for me to get out when most of the females are out without getting killed in cover charges at the bars around here. The earlier days of the week, no women anywhere at any bars or clubs.
I am working on improving my life job wise and opportunity wise, but that is a work in progress. Rome wasn't built in a day.
What I am trying to ask basically is, how should I start doing this? Having women in my life would greatly improve it. It would help me with the oneitis for the ex, get that confidence back that you get from being with a woman, and just make me feel better about myself.
I go out, talk to women, and try to improve things, but I really feel lost and lonely and I am just plain miserable. *which I do not give off that vibe or talk about it unless it is with my Mum or Therapist*
What would you guys suggest on doing to get out there and just start improving that area of my life? Do you go to certain places? Should I just put it all on the line and go 110% in every interaction?
Some suggestions would be appreciated. I apologize about the length of the post. I got a million things going on right now *aside from my son, mostly negative Sh1t* and I tried to condense this as best as I possibly can.