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  1. #1
    cfc2010 Guest

    Default Need help with my situation!!

    So about a 2 months ago I started hanging out with this girl (as friends) and sure enough around that same time she started dating a guy. The thing is we hang out all the time (we make sexual jokes at each other, slap each others asses, the whole 10 yards) but it doesn't ever really go anywhere (meaning sex) because of "this other guy" (which she seems to be falling for a little more now). Clearly we like each other but its staying at this friend faze. She even wanted the three of us to hang out but i was like no, that's not gonna happen. So what should I do? how should I handle this situation? what should my attitude be towards this other guy? should i start pulling away? should i start saying I'm seeing other people or what? any advice i will love u for it!! Thanks.

  2. #2
    prjav's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need help with my situation!!

    if you dont make or you didnt made your move on time it could be too late. but who knows.

    you obviously like her, i would change the tune a bit and go a little more sexual, flirty yes flirty not that much more sexual but more flirty and see what happens.

  3. #3
    Frued is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with my situation!!

    Personally, I would go out with the two of them and treat it like a two set man. Out alpha him so she sees with her own eyes that she is messing around with the wrong guy. Show her she should be with you. I've done it before. But the key is to bring the same sexual energy and conversation with you. Talk to her exactly how you do any other time. Dude will get jealous, and there you go. You become the alpha. Go foot it! Good luck and happy sarging!

  4. #4
    Sitfab's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need help with my situation!!

    What you can do is to be more attractive than him. dhv-ing and Guerrilla AMOG-ing him will work great ( befriend him and out-value him ). Use some Seduction stage routines, if that works for you.

  5. #5
    TangoFoxtrot is offline Banned
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    Default Re: Need help with my situation!!

    My advice is exactly the opposite. Snub this girl. She has gotten used to having her cake and eating it too. Take Away the cake and create scarcity. You may lose her as a friend--but you have enough friends. You may lose her as a potential conquest--but you don't have that working either. All you have is her using you for" friendship" and to make herself feel good while hanging out with this other dude. Your time is more valuable than that. Shift the dynamics in your relationship, she will see you differently. You may not "win" but you have nothing to lose anyway.

  6. #6
    Sitfab's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need help with my situation!!

    Persistence is key, Foxtrot

  7. #7
    TangoFoxtrot is offline Banned
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    Default Re: Need help with my situation!!

    I agree, Sitfab. And I am not suggesting that cfc2010 completely ditch this girl. Perhaps I was not specific enough in my comment. My suggestion is that cfc2010 will get more of this girl's attention by giving her less of his attention. Following her around like a puppy dog, making himself available whenever she needs / wants anything from him, and generally acting like one of her girlfriends--even with a little flirtation included--is a sure-fire way of diminishing his value in her eyes.

    My suggestion is that he should continue talking with her. He should be nice to her. Not overly nice, but courteous and well-mannered in an edgy kind of way (this really depends on his game). But, when she invites him to hang out, he should have something better to do--some fabulous, exciting, dangerous, fulfilling, unique, fun, outrageous, whatever.....plans. Every time. For example:

    "I'd love to hang with you and do__________. Too bad I already have plans to go to ____________ (watch the cage fights, play in a poker tourney, go shark hunting, test drive motorcycles, etc....)

    This way he can build high value for himself, while negging her a bit in a backhanded way. It demonstrates that he has tremendous options and that she is just one of them.

    She should be obsessing about him. She should be asking her girlfriends about him and chasing after him. This approach creates that opportunity.
    Last edited by TangoFoxtrot; 07-26-2011 at 05:39 PM. Reason: added an example

  8. #8
    Sitfab's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need help with my situation!!

    Foxtrot, now THAT's a different stance than that one you had before and now makes much more sense.

    Following her around like a puppy dog, making himself available whenever she needs / wants anything from him, and generally acting like one of her girlfriends--even with a little flirtation included--is a sure-fire way of diminishing his value in her eyes.
    Let's not assume this point of view/logic, it's a bit stereotyped. Indeed, this happens all the time with a lot of guys, but he did not state anything of the like that would hint at this kind of behavior ( even the hangout stuff ), so he may or may not doing what you have said. Their conversation dynamics is different.

    When she invites him to hang out, he should have something better to do--some fabulous, exciting, dangerous, fulfilling, unique, fun, outrageous, whatever.....plans. Every time.
    Not all the time. Once or twice will work, then break this cycle by including her in his plans to do something with him that is fabulous, exciting, dangerous, fulfilling, unique, fun, outrageous, whatever. Something that does not imply being too attentive to her. If he does that too often, the "what's wrong with you/is something wrong" conversation will inevitably take place. And I'm not sure what's going to go on that road.

    Also, if he does that every time, he will become predictable in behavior and will be phased out ( because of not hanging out ). Unpredictability is also a much needed key component in their dynamics at this very moment.

    Other than that, you're right.

  9. #9
    TangoFoxtrot is offline Banned
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    Default Re: Need help with my situation!!

    Nicely said Sitfab. You nailed it. I was a bit presumptuous in suggesting cfc2010 was following this chick around. Let that serve as a cautionary note rather than an assumption.

    You also nailed it regarding him having something better to do. My next post was going to expound and suggest cfc2010 call her up after a few rounds and invite her out somewhere on his terms. Thanks for crystalizing my thoughts.


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