Plundering Booty

It would be nice if I could get at least two dirty pirate hookers on my dinghy at the same time, but I've got much to learn before that fantasy becomes a reality.

Anyway, I've been struggling with using the Jealous Girlfriend routine as an Opener. I still use it, but not as an opener. It seems too sincere and awkward to initiate a conversation with random strangers.

I've created an opener, which I'm sure has been done before in some capacity. It's a popular premise involving various scenarios, but I think it's random enough to work, especially if delivered in an obviously sarcastic manner, stressing it's "importance."

PUA approaches a set and says, "Excuse me, I hate to interrupt your conversation, but I need to ask you a really important question. If you had to be stranded on a deserted island with one celebrity for the rest of your life, who would it be?"

Obviously, this question has no importance at all, which is why it should be asked in a sarcastic tone. It should get a relatively interesting conversation going and offer plenty of time to follow up with another routine. A nice little neg to throw in there would be in response to their answer, "That's a terrible choice. Seriously? You would choose ______? I can't believe you just said that." Unless it's Johnny Depp, of course; then it's an amazing answer!

Stalker Opener

I thought of another smart-ass opener that I'm dying to use.

"Hi, I'm a stalker. I've been following you for weeks now, taking pictures of you in the shower to hang on my wall and masturbate to. I hope you don't mind that I took a pair of your panties and made a shrine out of it. Don't worry, they smell wonderful."

If she finds this more creepy than amusing then she's not worth my time. That takes huge cannon balls to walk up to a random hottie and say it with confidence.