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  1. #1
    hash12 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 75, Level: 1
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    Default Hi PUAForums, here's my story

    Hi all,

    This is probably going to be a long post, so for those of you that stick around to the end, thank you.

    So I just moved to a new city after college, and apart from 3-4 friends from college and my coworkers, I know practically nobody. I have a sort of extreme case of social anxiety when it comes to making friends and dating, and the cause is pretty deep-rooted.

    When I was 4 years old, I was involved in a tragic accident that and destroyed sight in one of my eyes, and it has taken an emotional toll on my life... because apart from ripping apart my optic nerve, my eye ended up with a bad squint that caused me to be an outcast of sorts in school. As I grew up, my confidence never improved, if anything, it worsened by the day and I became more and more reclusive just to avoid any sort of confrontation about it. Once I reached high school and my male hormones started kicking in, my lack of confidence with conversation carried over to dating .. I thought I'd never have a girlfriend because of my eye, and was always insecure because since I am a quiet and reserved person and my social life uptil then was pretty limited, I never enjoyed having meaningless conversation like banter which is essential for dating.

    Even so, I had my first girlfriend in highschool - I was lucky because she fell for me even though I never initiated anything, but I finally mustered the courage to ask her out, which was probably the most social pressure I've ever felt. It didn't last very long - like 4 months, but it was an amazing experience and my confidence in general grew. But after she broke up with me, I had a relapse and went back into my shell. Skip to the third year of college and 2 surgeries later. My eye now had partial vision, but there was still a noticeable squint. I met my second and latest girlfriend through a friend, and again I got lucky, because she just started hanging out with me and drunk dialing me all the time, so I asked her out. I went out with her for a year and a half - the best year ever because I had no inhibitions whatsoever and had an enriching experience with the relationship. Unfortunately, my disinclination to talk a lot, gossip and discuss inane topics, especially at parties and such, led us to break up, and I've been single ever since.

    Skip to today, a year later, I'm working now, my first real job, but in a whole new city. I'm enjoying my job, and my social confidence doesn't in any way affect my confidence about my skill at work. I haven't touched a woman for a year, and it doesn't look like I'm going to anytime soon. All my coworkers are much older than me, and in general I think dating coworkers can lead to a lot of sh1t. I have no idea how to meet new random people because I can't talk to someone unless I have a good reason to or a friend introduces me to them. I've become much more reclusive and conscious of my appearance and I just have no idea how to forget about it and continue with my life. I'm pretty much an emotional wreck and would love some advice on what I should do and how I should go about meeting new people, especially women.

    Thanks for reading, and thanks in advance for your advice
    Last edited by hash12; 08-15-2011 at 12:58 AM.

  2. #2
    Phoenixx is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 143, Level: 2
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    7 days registered100 Experience Points
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    Default Re: Hi PUAForums, here's my story

    you should go out to bars with some guys from ur job. when ur there just try to approach some girls. i know its not as simple as all that lol but you gotta go outta ur comfort zone to get any sort of results. and you keep saying that 'you got lucky' that kind of talk is gonna keep you where your at. remember man the girl is the lucky one, not you. keep that Mindset and youll have no problem meeting new people.


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