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  1. #1
    AFC Tim is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Hi guys, my name is AFC Tim

    Hi. first time posting longtime browsing.

    im 18 year old virgin, never had girlfriend, very insecure(afraid that people will find out that i posted this), very shy(so shy when i see a girl that gives me tones of IOIs am afraid to talk to them) and very socially arkward(im not really socially arkward it just ever time someone talk to me i freeze up because i think there going to ask me question that im insecure about or very shy and dont know how to responed).

    i have hundreds of girl come up to me and say im cute can hear girl talk about how hot i am, i have an aesthetics(Muscle) body but cant seem to make girlfriend or friends for that matter.
    im very intimidating.(i actually act like this because of my insecuritys think other guys are judging me)

    use to be the centre of attention in primary school was shy still but was very funny and cool want to be that again.

    need help im at the point where im willing to do anything would like to post filed reports

    ps.
    no money
    no car
    no job
    Small life
    only things i do is listen to music, play games and workout, sometimes goes to party but hide in the corner
    on computer most of the time not on social website tho
    Last edited by AFC Tim; 08-24-2011 at 05:58 AM.

  2. #2
    Bradders's Avatar
    Bradders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Hi

    your a luck guy, you have what we call"natural advantage" physically at least
    by all means you will do fantastic, aslong as you dont let all the success you are bound tog et go to your head my friend.

    the game shall be easy for you, the only issue you ahve is aa which is approach anxisety, in otherwords, fear of rejection or what they might say if you fail. natural, normal and happens to everyone to begin with and will enver really go away, but you can convince yourself it doesnt matter.

    as you said your phyiscally fine, you will do fine, as womena lready want to talk to you. especialy if you dont show that you know your above them, its a double bluff really.

    play to that, know your assets pley to them but not let others know your playing to them! make sense? cool.
    if you've just started out i recommend you read "the game" by neil strause as it shows a good evolution from nothing to something.
    also read any books reccommended here if you can, bt as you have no money(not a massive issue as people here dont charge for ammature help)
    if your quiet you will only have to work on that. now alot of Mpua's will say they came up with this but its just a confidense building tecnique thats been around awhile.

    what i want you to do is this, dress up in loose fitting cloths you like but not to impress, just casual so you dont feel constricted. now walk into a local busy place where you live, a mall, towncenter,w hatever. on the way i want you to picture yourself walkingahead of you, that person is you, but am roe confidend you, walking strong, proud his head upright, straight back nothing to hide, i want you to walk faster and catch up to this other you, and walk in hsi place and immitate how he was walking.
    ahead of you again you see another you, walking calmly with a sway to his step and smile on his face, his posture is the same as yours but somehow he seams to own more of himself, walk faster, run if you have to catch him up and walk i n his place where he walks how he walks, with the smile and the sway, then see a third man ahead of you, a gentle being, who knows what hes capable of, but knows he shouldnt flaunt it. humble, strong,c onfident, walking with agraceful sway a smile on his face, straight back and good pose, but dont run to him, notice how he ru ns to you, becasue you are already everything you need to be. hes trying to be you now you see, look behind you and see several other yous running to be you.
    with the warmth you feel in your heart, feel your smile ony our smile notice that for 100 yards you've been walking as a great man you wish you could be, notice you are that person. welcome to the confident knew you.!

    now this wont last too long so make the most of it, as you walk from this po int, with the smile eyes up ahead of you, to every man, woman and girl of whatever attractiveness, if they make eye cotnact say "hey","goodmorni g/afternoon" "how you doing" dont have to stop just say it carry on, if they ignore you, carry on, if they say hi back, feel the warmth and the tingles in your stomach and heart fill your body, becasue it will. notice how good that felt, and compare it to how little you cared when they said nothing.
    do this 10-20 times today, and whenever you feel low.

    this will give you the confidense and happieness to approach strangers. when your in a bar club a park you'll remember how easy it is to approach, when you've done this then work on your game, what to say how to flick switches etc. butr right now, baby steps my friend, let me know how it goes

    best of luck
    "It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most
    responsive to change." Charles Darwin

  3. #3
    Mr8Hyde6's Avatar
    Mr8Hyde6 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Hi

    I definitely agree, you have Approach Anxiety. However, it isn't always the easiest thing to overcome. I had it. It took some time to just get over it.
    It takes some practice, little exercises such as the one Bradders mentioned.
    I overcome approach anxiety and build a little confidence by approaching random people at a mall. I approach them with a simple hello (typically a female sales associate), and I compliment something on them. Never EVER their looks, but rather their clothes, hair style, or shoes or whatever.
    I just hit them with a compliment, and I leave it at that... Now, what this does is allows you to open yourself up enough to say something without expecting ANYTHING back. That is the KEY. Do not expect to hear anything back, or get anything out of it. But, majority of the time, you will realize that the better you can come across, the more the target begins to open to you instantly.
    I've had women tell me that I made their day with just a simple comment about their hairstyle. I've also, as a joke to prove to my friends how easy it is to strike conversations about anything, approached a girl, started small talk, and then asked what kind of shampoo she used. That then led to asking what kind of deodarant she used. No lie. She talked to me for a few minutes about when she likes to put on deodarant, perfume, etc.
    Now, I am NOT recommending going around telling girls they smell good or asking what they are wearing, but this just shows you that it isn't what you have to say, it's how you say it. How you say it has a lot to do with the confidence you exhibit. Think of it like acting. Act the part of a confident man. Eventually, the acting will become natural and you will become that confident man.
    Again, I am not saying this as a step by step basis on what to do, nor am I saying this is the answer. However, the little things like that help develop your own confidence level.
    Take in the feedback and reactions you get from others. Just because someone looks at you funny or weird, don't take it personally. It happens to the best of us. Even I get weird looks sometimes. I just laugh about it.
    Like you said, you are good looking and muscular. I have a muscular build and have been told on NUMEROUS occasions I am extremely good looking. I am confident in who I am and what I look like, so yes, it may intimidate girls. However, use that to your advantage and feel it in you. Don't let it be the only focus of your game, but add it as a tool.
    When you walk into a room, and you "think" a group of girls is looking/staring at you, don't "think" they are. You just have to KNOW they are.
    Little changes in your Mindset and the way you think can help develop inner game, confidence, and help you relieve aa. I used to think a girl was looking at me but I would second guess it all the time. Now, if I think it, I know she is. Smile right back and wave.
    The main important thing to realiza is that this isn't a 1 week journey. It isn't going to happen overnight. It takes baby steps. It takes rejections. It takes time. But it is ALL worth it.

    Would you rather live in regret for not doing something and learning nothing from that experience, or looking back and doing something and learning from your experience? That is one of the most important ways I live my life.
    The worst kind of regret is the regret of having done nothing.

  4. #4
    Bradders's Avatar
    Bradders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Hi

    exackly in anutshell mrhydra puts it!
    little exercises and movments will change your Mindset my friend. he puts it very clear. to not expect responses, i didnt even think of that though was obviouse extra now i think of it.
    this PUA i shall admit is mroe advanced then me, though by no fault of my own i just havnt had the oppurnity! weseam to agree tho ugh,
    you'l be fine! there are plent y of books on confidense
    and imvery sure you'll do fantastic when you get over that
    "It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most
    responsive to change." Charles Darwin


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