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Unread 10-17-2011, 03:27 PM
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Default help with hb10 with bf

so recently i've been talking to this girl a lot. i've started to like her but she's dating one of my best friends. I am getting my driver's license next month and can ask her out then. i've been working out a lot getting into shape (sorta chubby - almost lost all weight tho) and i will be by the time i can take her on date. we talk every few nights on aim but it's always me starting the conversations. sometimes she doesnt respond for a little while too and it can get frustrating. i cant break her up with her boyfriend, even tho i can, because she's a HB10 (maybe HB9 - still really farking hot) and all the guys she knows are going after her. but it's also risky having her with her bf because they may have sex and i want her to be a virgin if we do anything (dont wanna lose it to a girl who's not one). what can i do to make her start conversations with me more and also be more active in them? thx

p.s. i dont care what happens to her boyfriend/my friend as long as he is broken up with her when something happens. i can flirt with her but not too much. also, she often asks we about whether she is too skinny because she "trusts my advice". once when they broke up for a day she called me to cry to and sh1t. not sure if this info helps but whatever.



Last edited by Bill Preston; 10-17-2011 at 03:34 PM. Reason: age

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Unread 10-17-2011, 04:02 PM
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Default Re: help with hb10 with bf

Dude. You are so far into the friends zone it is not even funny. If she is calling you to be her "teddy bear" that is NOT a good thing. Also, you can't be hitting on your friend's girl. That is just not right man. If it wasn't your friend I would say who gives a rip, but I wouldn't hit on a girl that was my friends. It is asking for problems.

If you are in the friend zone it is way too much work to get out of there. I will tell you this. If you want a chance you need to do a Freeze Out. You also need to dhv which listening to her problems is NOT how you do that. You need to stop talking to her on AIM completely, and let things run their course.

Another way to DHV is to talk to a lot more girls in order to show preselection. That way she sees other girls are into you and it will give you higher Social Proof in her eyes.

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Last edited by In The Tropics; 10-17-2011 at 04:05 PM. Reason: thought of more to say
 
Unread 10-17-2011, 04:42 PM
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Default Re: help with hb10 with bf

Quote:
Originally Posted by agentanon View Post
so recently i've been talking to this girl a lot. i've started to like her but she's dating one of my best friends. No, she's not. If he was your friend you would respect their relationship (unless it is abusive). I am getting my driver's license next month and can ask her out then. Why do you have to have a DL to ask her out? i've been working out a lot getting into shape (sorta chubby - almost lost all weight tho Congrats, keep at it.) and i will be by the time i can take her on date. we talk every few nights on aim but it's always me starting the conversations. sometimes she doesnt respond for a little while too and it can get frustrating. You care too much and she knows it. i cant break her up with her boyfriend, even tho i can, (What? this is contradictory) because she's a HB10 (maybe HB9 - still really farking hot) and all the guys she knows are going after her. That has no bearing on the contradictory statement you just made. Hot chicks will always have a lot of guys chasing them, hell, so will ugly chicks who put out easily. but it's also risky having her with her bf because (he might kick your ass, as he should) they may have sex Yeah, couples do that... and i want her to be a virgin if we do anything Virgins are great on paper, but boring in bed. (dont wanna lose it to a girl who's not one Then, you may have to settle for a seven or find your own girl to catch instead of stealing from your friend.). what can i do to make her start conversations with me more and also be more active in them? Be more awesome and less of a douchebag. thx

p.s. i dont care what happens to her boyfriend/my friend Douchebag. as long as he is broken up with her when something happens. i can flirt with her but not too much. also, she often asks we about whether she is too skinny because she Wants to be complimented and knows you'll stroke her ego. She tells you she: "trusts my advice" and you just keep telling her what she wants to hear. once when they broke up for a day she called me to cry to and sh1t If you aren't touching her sexually within a few hours of her literally crying on your shoulder, this is a big, red fail flag. Best to be the one cried over, however. not sure if this info helps but whatever.
My responses are in blue.


First, you're a crappy friend and I'm glad not to call you one of mine.


Second, you present yourself on here as a selfish, insecure, poorly educated jerk who wants to take what he can't get on his own and is willing to do anything to get it. You are grossly desperate.


Third, you need to really figure out what kind of man you're going to be; if this is a prelude, no woman worth having is going to fall in love with you.


Fourth, learn to type with better punctuation and grammar. Is it really that difficult to hit "Shift" a few times in a paragraph?


Fifth, you'll probably just mother-f me and convince yourself I'm an idiot who is completely wrong and doesn't know anything because your situation is somehow different than every other guy who has been lovestruck over a hot chick dating his "best friend" and wants her to save her virginity for him so they can lose it together in some harmonious ceremony. If you even respond back once, to my post, other than to MF me, I will be surprised.

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Unread 10-17-2011, 05:47 PM
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Default Re: help with hb10 with bf

Agent,

I am not going to be as hard on you as Nik. Seeing his posts he doesn't sugar coat things, but you should listen to him. There are PLENTY of girls out there man. Work to get one of your own. or more then one.

-Tropics

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Unread 10-17-2011, 06:19 PM
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Default Re: help with hb10 with bf

Personally, I suggest not being too desperate?

You need to go out more.


 
Unread 10-17-2011, 06:24 PM
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Default Re: help with hb10 with bf

Thanks Nik, I appreciate the honesty. I'm just going to go through your comments then expand upon this whole situation, I think I presented myself poorly.

While my friend isn't abusive, he is very jealous. He constantly worries about her cheating and it is making it hard to be friends with him and he even talked about hurting himself because he was so worried. The relationship has got him pretty f-cked up, and it's hurting everyone. She isn't happy, he isn't happy. They both say the other is too good for them, and it's f-cking nuts.

The DL is because I need transportation. I'm not going to hang out with someone if we can't go anywhere. Also, a mutual friend with the BF who likes her (the poor BF has such loyal friends lol) just got a pretty nice car and she seems to be into it. My father will most likely give me his Audi convertible which won't hurt my chances. But like I said before, it's mainly so I could bring her places just the two of us.

Thanks for the motivation, it's been great getting into shape. It may be weird but it's this girl that motivates me to do it. Whenever I exercise I think of her and it helps.

I know the aim convos need to stop. I tried it last week but I kept finding excuses to talk to her. It's just difficult waiting for her to talk when I could just be the one to say hi.

What I meant was that I won't break them up out of loyalty to my friend. I would rather it happen on its own, which from talking to her I assume it will soon. I could easily convince her to ditch him but I don't think it would make her want me so I have held back. Lest she run to some real douchebag who just wants to hook up with her.

The whole virgin thing is just some "fantasy" thing like you said. But I would rather her remember me instead of some other asshole.

I am pretty awesome, I have to say. I just want to know techniques that would make her seek me instead of going after her. Not even for a sexual thing, just like opening up more. Her replies are usually short unless she vents or something, which is not what I want to listen to but I'm just glad she's talking to me. Pathetic, I know. I've just really liked her for about 2 years now.

I didn't mean to say I don't care about my friend, he's a great guy. It was just a rant thing. I care about him a lot and helped him get back with her when they broke up the first time, despite not wanting to. I just thought that she'd be better with him than the jerks that are in her grade.

I don't stroke her ego. I tell her the truth. I don't want her trying to gain weight because that could be more dangerous than her trying to lose it. She's my friend foremost and I'd rather not be a d1ck who says that she's too skinny after she lost like 20lbs (she's like 5'6" 105lb, so it's not like she was really fat before. It was all in her tits lol). When she called about breaking up with her boyfriend I told her that she was a crazy insecure bitch who didn't know what she wanted. They got back together the next day.

When she was crying and shit it was over the phone and I was in a diff. state. Trust me, if she was there with me alone shit would've gone down ;-). When they break up next time I plan to go out just us and "talk". Another reason I need the license.

Isn't it a little odd to say "wants to take what he can't get on his own and is willing to do anything to get it."? Wouldn't me taking it be getting it on my own? I am a big free-market/Ayn Rand-loving guy and I have no problems taking what I want. I just need advice on how. I just made the decision to change my life a little while ago in order to get this girl. Starting with the weight loss, then getting license, learning to interact, etc. This is all my plan in getting shit on my own.

I just want help in getting her to approach me. How to get out of the "friend-zone" if I'm in it, and how to seal the deal when it comes down to it. That's why I'm here.

Are you surprised Nik?


 
Unread 10-17-2011, 06:29 PM
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Default Re: help with hb10 with bf

Thanks, In the Tropics.

I'm incredibly new to this, so would you mind telling me on how to perform a Freeze-Out? I try to cut off communication but it's difficult for me. Thanks.

Killian,

I'm not desperate. If I was I would be kissing up to every girl I know. The other ones I just neg or ignore out of purely being uninterested. It's just this one though. I try to play it like a game but I am too emotional with her. Emotions are so f-cking gay. And yes, I do need to go out more. Another reason for needing a license. I also tend to avoid parties despite there being one every weekend. It's just that I don't enjoy drinking with a bunch of people I have zero interest in. I'll probably start going once I've finished getting into at least pretty good shape and work on some pick up techniques.

Thanks everyone.


 
Unread 10-17-2011, 11:06 PM
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Default Re: help with hb10 with bf

Quote:
Originally Posted by agentanon View Post
Are you surprised Nik?
Yes.

This is presented much better. I don't have time to type a full response right now, but I'll make time in the near future.

Rep+

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Last edited by nik; 10-18-2011 at 08:06 AM.
 
Unread 10-17-2011, 11:16 PM
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Default Re: help with hb10 with bf

Freezing a girl out is exactly that. Cut off contact for awhile in order to make her wonder why you aren't interested anymore. Don't make a point to tell her why or anything, just show that you have better things to do then to worry about her. And you should have better things to do.

Doing a Freeze Out can cause a girl that is really interested to contact you in order for her to draw you back in. You need to start disqualifying her and mixing IOI's with IOD's in order to create push pull if that happens. If you just come running back like her puppy dog then she will lose the interest again right away. The Cat String Theory is based on that.

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Unread 10-18-2011, 08:04 AM
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Default Re: help with hb10 with bf

Quote:
Originally Posted by agentanon View Post
Thanks Nik, I appreciate the honesty. I'm just going to go through your comments then expand upon this whole situation, I think I presented myself poorly.

You did present yourself poorly, but this post, without even reading it all, yet, redeems the writing and physical presentation issues.

While my friend isn't abusive, he is very jealous. He constantly worries about her cheating and it is making it hard to be friends with him and he even talked about hurting himself because he was so worried. The relationship has got him pretty f-cked up, and it's hurting everyone. She isn't happy, he isn't happy. They both say the other is too good for them, and it's f-cking nuts.

Let his jealousy end their relationship. Women want just enough jealousy to know they are sought after and protected. If he is talking about hurting himself; well, you know that's a major issue not to be discussed further on a public forum.

The DL is because I need transportation. I'm not going to hang out with someone if we can't go anywhere. Also, a mutual friend with the BF who likes her (the poor BF has such loyal friends lol) just got a pretty nice car and she seems to be into it. My father will most likely give me his Audi convertible which won't hurt my chances. But like I said before, it's mainly so I could bring her places just the two of us.

That makes sense, but you're using that as a crutch. I would get a taxi to take out a woman, if I had to. Yeah, who needs enemies when her boyfriend has such good friends? Don't worry about the other guy having a nice car. That kind of competition will always be there. You just have to learn how to deal with it (both from the perspective of having less or more than your immediate competition).

An Audi is a very nice car (at least new). Just make sure you are the man without the car; don't let the car make the man. It's just a tool and and accessory.

Thanks for the motivation, it's been great getting into shape. It may be weird but it's this girl that motivates me to do it. Whenever I exercise I think of her and it helps.

I don't care what motivates you. If it works, use it. If what works changes, use that. Keep it up. When you stop, the fat comes back faster and takes even longer to get rid of thereafter. It is much easier to maintain than change. That is true of almost everything in life.

I know the aim convos need to stop. I tried it last week but I kept finding excuses to talk to her. It's just difficult waiting for her to talk when I could just be the one to say hi.

If you had other women to talk to, you wouldn't need her. The preferred methods of conversing with women is: through actions/deeds, through in-person conversation, phone calls/texts, physical letters; in that order.

You're not letting her miss you if you're always just saying "hi". How ordinary and boring. If a woman is engaged in a conversation, she will dedicate her time to it or stop it until she can give it her due attention. If she's stringing a conversation along; it's not that important to her. It's filler.

What I meant was that I won't break them up out of loyalty to my friend. I would rather it happen on its own, which from talking to her I assume it will soon. I could easily convince her to ditch him but I don't think it would make her want me so I have held back. Lest she run to some real douchebag who just wants to hook up with her.

Forget about her for a while. Hang out with your friend, but start putting distance between you two. You need to let that fail on its own. Don't let your hand or name get drug into that. If you and him are too close when they do end it, she won't want to be with you. You're aiming for friends who share friends moreso than being "best friends".

If you're too close to him when they break it off, she will associate you with him. You need to be seen as your own man to her. Some distance will help with every aspect of your ultimate goal.

Douchebags will always want to just hook up with her, so will good guys, nice guys, bad guys, old guys, younger guys... You can learn to appreciate competition intead of fear it. It takes time, practice, and being honest with yourself and your ailities.

The whole virgin thing is just some "fantasy" thing like you said. But I would rather her remember me instead of some other asshole.

I feel the sme same way. Does she live close to me?

I am pretty awesome, I have to say. I just want to know techniques that would make her seek me instead of going after her. Not even for a sexual thing, just like opening up more. Her replies are usually short unless she vents or something, which is not what I want to listen to but I'm just glad she's talking to me. Pathetic, I know. I've just really liked her for about 2 years now.

Make her compete for you. Women, women, women. That's what draws a woman's attention to a man. You may be awesome, but women don't want to sit at home with awesome, they want to be experiencing life's fullest opportunities with awesome. Then, they want all their girlfriends to be jealous of what they have.

You can't do that while twitterpated.

I didn't mean to say I don't care about my friend, he's a great guy. It was just a rant thing. I care about him a lot and helped him get back with her when they broke up the first time, despite not wanting to. I just thought that she'd be better with him than the jerks that are in her grade.

How much younger is she than you? Than her boyfriend?

I don't stroke her ego. I tell her the truth. I don't want her trying to gain weight because that could be more dangerous than her trying to lose it. She's my friend foremost and I'd rather not be a d1ck who says that she's too skinny after she lost like 20lbs (she's like 5'6" 105lb, so it's not like she was really fat before. It was all in her tits lol). When she called about breaking up with her boyfriend I told her that she was a crazy insecure bitch who didn't know what she wanted. They got back together the next day.

That's not the topic of conversation with the women I'm most successful with.

When she was crying and sh1t it was over the phone and I was in a diff. state. Trust me, if she was there with me alone sh1t would've gone down ;-). When they break up next time I plan to go out just us and "talk". Another reason I need the license.

Slow down on this idea. Let's go through a few more things before you make a move on this plan. Think longer term.

Post up some stories about the new women you're pursuing before we worry aout this woman.

Isn't it a little odd to say "wants to take what he can't get on his own and is willing to do anything to get it."? Wouldn't me taking it be getting it on my own? I am a big free-market/Ayn Rand-loving guy and I have no problems taking what I want. I just need advice on how. I just made the decision to change my life a little while ago in order to get this girl. Starting with the weight loss, then getting license, learning to interact, etc. This is all my plan in getting sh1t on my own.

Getting a woman on your own means you pick her up after meeting her for the first time with minimal or no mutual friends/acquaintances. Getting your friend's old girl is not on your own. It's getting your friend's old girl. While not a foul, in and of itself, it is in this instance, right now. More on this if the situation changes. (There is nothing wrong with using mutual acquaintances; just don't kid yourself on how much you are doing until proven.)

I just want help in getting her to approach me. How to get out of the "friend-zone" if I'm in it, and how to seal the deal when it comes down to it. That's why I'm here.

Take your time, slow down, read, ask, learn, try, fail, ask, learn, repeat.

Are you surprised Nik?
Still surprised. Impressed. The problem with first impressions is you only get one shot. However, you redeemed yourself greatly, to me. I would guess you feel pride when you read your post quoted here and embarrassment when you read your opening post. That's good. Have pride in your ability to present yourself well. Not everyone can do that; many who can-choose not to.


Let's hear about the new girl...

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