Re: Making the change.....
Originally Posted by Nightman
I personally used to have AFC tendencies. I think there is a time and place for everything. I am currently reading "The pickup artist" by Mystery. There is no where that is set in stone saying that you can't "open doors for women or buy her dinner." There is just a time and place for these things. Don't buy a girl dinner to try to gain her approval. It makes you look like a chump. Buy her dinner once she is looking to gain yours. Then it is a reward for her ioi's.
Here is what I mean. Don't buy stuff or do nice things for a girl before you have built attraction. He talks about being like Rhett Butler from "Gone with the Wind." At one point a woman says to him "sir you are not a gentleman." and he responds with "Maim you are not a lady." Meaning you don't try to be a nice guy to build attraction. I also think that you can't let a girl treat you like a door mat even if you have built attraction.
I just took a girl out last Thursday, and I paid for dinner. Then we went out and she asked if I minded if she got our drinks. I said "I am all for letting you pay for them." That is a girl that is not looking to walk all over me. She understands there is give and take.
A time and place.
Don't ask to buy a girl a drink off the bat. Make her earn it.
There is no such thing as rejection, only feedback.
Be the flame, not the moth.