Any hope for a 40yo Virgin?

Well this isn't the movies, and I'm pretty much at my wits end, depressed, even occasional thoughts of suicide. I probably have social anxiety and aspergers. I am in the computer/engineering field. The depression caused me to lose my job and I work from home living in my parents house. People deprived of affection suffer in other aspects of their life.

Sad part about this is I look perfectly normal and women wonder why I'm single! I live next door to a married woman and she said you wouldn't be single if I was not married.

I had some women that I kissed and made out with and they thought my looks were above average to attractive. I think this is bullsh1t because women never approach me in public. If men look a certain way they have to beat women off with a stick!

I noticed that when I'm around women I stand with my hands folded up, like an anxiety takes me over.
I don't really get out much, I've always hid behind a computer. I fear rejection. At this point I fear I will be inadequate if I ever have sex with a woman.

I'm thin, boyish looking,blonde/blue work out occasionally but I get zero traction with women. One issue is when I did meet a women, I ended up kissing her ass to the point that I became her doormat. I fixed her car, did $1000s of repairs to her house. You can guess how that ended up.

Sometimes I have thought of turning gay, not so much for the sex but just for human companionship that I crave so much.

It's not uncommon, and don't worry. Glad you've posted here

Just so we know where to go from here, how much PUA material do you know?

Whatever I know, is almost impossible for me to implement. When I see women in public I have a "segfault" and crash.

By saying that, do you mean Approach Anxiety? If so, remember (if you don't already know) to follow the three second rule.

Rejection at this point is a big fear. A woman rejects me its going to be taken 100% personal. SOme guys never get rejected, from the first girl they ask.

Well that would be one stepping stone here..

Don't worry about being rejected. It happens to everyone. I'm serious (It can even happen to MPUA's). There are billions of fish in the sea. While AFC's feel like giving up after rejection, PUA's say "There's more where she came from..", and carry on. We have to accept that both sides have preferences in a relationship. (e.g. we all have physical, and personality preferences in a woman, while woman have their preferences in men.)

I've been rejected many times. Don't take it to heart. I even ask from time to time, why I was rejected. Once you begin learning here, you'll find yourself being rejected a lot less.


Sure there are other men out there who find it easier, but there are many variables in that, and they too have many flaws in their relationship.



-but don't worry about them. This is about you.



In this forum site, there are MANY people, even in your current position. There are those who have went from rock bottom AFC, to VERY GOOD PUA's.

I'm going to make a small list here, which I suggest you follow through, skip the things you've already done...



-Clear your mind (Any negative things in your head? GET THEM THE F*** OUT. This is the new you, same personality, but now improved. We're taking steps away from the AFC circle, and are on our way to the PUA circle)

-Tell yourself "I Am Alpha." (seriously. make yourself aware that YOU are 'the man'. Every one of us here does this, as you must think Alpha)

-Smile All The Time (Take a look at someone who is smiling, and someone who isn't. Who is more approachable? Who looks more fun?) [Also, it's a fact that those who have sex often, smile often. Keep this in mind.]

-Start social interactions, all the time, everywhere, either gender, any age (Get used to conversing. The more you start interactions with strangers, the more you become used to it, it'll eventually become nothing of a deal to start a random conversation with males/females).

-If you're very new to Pick Up Artistry, I suggest you start reading on the following MPUA's: Mystery & Neil Strauss ("mystery method" is what you will see floating around here much of the time, and is what a lot of Pick Up Artistry is based off of, along with Mystery's Coined terms such as " HB10 AFC Kino dhv ")

-Following the prior point, we all highly suggest you read "The Game - By Neil Strauss", as it will introduce you into everything we talk about and do.


*Without a doubt, you can be very successful in PUA. You managed to start, by finding us. That is the most important step... Doing something about it. Next step is to keep at it brother!

Yeow... Have you read the game?

If not, find it and read it, he wasn't 40 but he was inept with girls when he started

Yes you can learn, I'd be happy to help you, but I'm not yet sure where to start

Where about do you live?

Oh and great post ooke!

Thanks guys - but the disorder I have makes me misread women. Aspies can't sense anything, I don't understand flirting, etc.

Then you'll have to memorize the signs and learn to read them like facts

It's just as easy as observing if someone blinks or rubs their hair.

Start with the game, it will give you a great understanding including a lot of information about "indicators of interest" (aka flirting)

There are ways to advance, read that first and we will help you with more but there's too much information there to rehash in a few posts