man im the worst

I can't remember how many times I was talking with highly attractive girls on pof then said something dumb and never heard back from them. the only time I've met up with girls is because they were so desperate I could literally say anything I wanted and they would still reply. I've always thought just being myself would work but it doesn't. I need direction and lots of it. here is an example of what I mean with a girl that I indeed find highly attractive.

Her headline was looking for a hero, he's got to be fast

me 1/23/2012 10:42:58 PM
oh im fast, probably last about 3 minutes cuz you're so hot.
her1/27/2012 11:39:46 PM
lol how r u
me
It's goin, how you doin sweetums? Your skin is butter and I wanna use my tounge to cut through it like a knife
her
thats a lil strange to say...lol
me
don't act like a snobby model
you're here to please me and serve me I'm here to make you feel unworthy.

so dumb. anyways I think I can still fix this but I need some ideas and or any general advice

my goal is to get laid and fast as its been ages

What you have to do is the exact opposite of this. I'm not an expert on online dating at all, but I know opening direct is only effective face-to-face because women don't get hit on like that very often and it pleasantly surprises them. Online, any AFC will tell them they look hot on their pictures. Even the most socially retarded ones, because they're anonymous and no harm can come to them. I think what you need to do is just look up a lot of theory and forum posts on online/facebook pick up.

Yeah I'm going to read a lot in the next few weeks here. In retrospect I should have read first then posted, but I wanted some opinions or some advice for this specific convo from anyone as to what I could possibly say to get myself unstuck

Ouch! That was pretty rough man. Remember, HOT CHICKS ARE TOLD THEY'RE HOT CONSTANTLY!!! So you telling her she's hot and complimenting her is extremely boring for her, even if she's just likes the quick dose of attention. You need to work on a unique indirect opener and REALLY need to study Escalation. Although theres no kino online, escalation is still key. Your "sweetums" and "knife tongue" comments should only have come after nearly an hour of Fluff, escalation, and IOIs.

Oh and also, negging is less effective online because they can't detect sarcasm through text.

I clicked on this post fully hoping to make someone feel better about their blunder...but after reading this, man, oh man...that was bad. Sorry dude. Those were some pretty awful lines.