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  1. #1
    dookieshed is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Question Breaking down a barrier with this girl

    So I met this single girl at a daytime event, and the goal here is to land a gf, not just sleep with her.

    I liked her a lot, we talked and exchanged numbers, etc, but our time was limited, so she had to split. I won't get into the details of the situation, but I know for a fact that she legitimately had to go for a bit.

    At that point, I was hoping for a text because I figured that would be a decent ioi, and I got one, which was great. So we had a little text banter, and eventually I ran into her again. She was clearly happy to see me and we talked a little more. I felt like there was some good eye contact and enthusiasm going on.

    So we texted more later that day, and I noticed she uses a lot of "!!, lol, haha, " stuff, so I took that as a good thing, though it seems like she may just do that with everyone from what Ive seen on her FB.

    I waited until the next day and friended her on facebook, but decided not to actually say anything to her until another day had gone by, at which time I sent her a FB message to strike up a conversation. It was short and to the point, touched on some of her interests, and showed her I was interested in her opinion.
    I waited two days and got no reply whatsoever, text or FB message.
    On day three (I'm sweating this so hard at this point), I sent her a lolcat picture because I knew she liked those.

    I got what would appear to be a great response with lots of !! and and the convo continued a little, but I didn't want to push it. She even mentioned not replying to my FB message on her own and said she forgot about it and apologized.

    So the following week, sort of a pattern has developed. I have texted her about every other day with a picture or something funny, and I always get good responses and enthusiasm. We usually carry a convo on for anywhere from like 6 to more 30+ messages. However, after a certain point she just disappears and doesn't respond to something, and then doesn't re-initiate later.

    My goal is to get her to look forward to hearing from me and start initiating the texting herself. I want to get past this initial stage and start talking to her and getting to know her better. I think part of the problem is she might not see my intentions here and I definitely don't want to get friend-zoned. Currently, we're at a very ball-in-her-court situation, so I'm not gonna text her for at least a couple days.

    Any advice on this one? She lives like an hour away from me, so it's kinda hard to just ask her to go out somewhere. But I really dig this chick and I don't wanna blow it. Pro tips, please!

  2. #2
    Adam blue is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Lightbulb Re: Breaking down a barrier with this girl

    Try being honest with her and ask her out? What you say guys?

  3. #3
    dookieshed is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Breaking down a barrier with this girl

    Update: I actually tried a pretty harmless opener on her yesterday.

    ME: I bet I know what you're doing right now!
    HB: What?! lol!
    ME: You are texting a really awesome guy!
    HB: Haha you are good! I'm workin too! Hopefully it goes by quick!

    and I left it there.
    I guess I just need to start flirting and making my intentions clear. My fear of farking it up is so high though.

  4. #4
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    Virgil is offline Moderator / PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Breaking down a barrier with this girl

    'If you're afraid to lose something, then you have already lost it'. That's what I tell myself a lot. And it's true. Your fear to fark it up is high, so you're not going to do what is necessary to get as far as possible with this girl. Let the fear go, mate. Just think 'Hey, if I'm afraid I'll have already lost her. I don't have her and can only win from here on in. Even if I only make it to a kiss'.

    As for the original post: You're getting dangerously close to the friend zone, because all you do is texting and sending funny pictures. You have to act right now. Make your intentions clear and see her soon. If an hour away is too far for her, or you don't have transport during weekdays, ask her to stay for the weekend (when someone might be able to bring her or you over) and go for it.

  5. #5
    dookieshed is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Breaking down a barrier with this girl

    Thanks for the input, man.

    I know for a fact my fear of losing it is what's holding me back... you're totally right about that. It's one of my biggest AFC tendencies. I get girls that I don't give a crap about all the time, but when I really want it, I'm afraid to do what has to be done.

    Anyway, I'm going to take your advice and make a move today. I know I'm getting close to the friend-zone if I'm not there already. FZ is a loss and not acting is a loss, so looks like I need to act!

    Any suggestions on how I should bring it up?

  6. #6
    Virgil's Avatar
    Virgil is offline Moderator / PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Breaking down a barrier with this girl

    No, I'd be in the dark there. Try browsing the forums for similar situations.


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