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  • 1 Post By uluvtheLD
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  • 2 Post By LockDown

Thread: Lost patience with a flaky girl - regretting it now

  1. #1
    brahms is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Lost patience with a flaky girl - regretting it now

    How much patience should I have for flakiness. This one cute very stylish blonde I met on the train a few weeks ago pretty much asked me for my number. She's been nice in her communication, but flaky about actually following through with the dates. We tried 4 times now and each time something comes up for her and she apologizes and postpones. She even said "I don't want to seem flaky, sorry, etc.

    If I let a girl keep playing games with me and making me jump through hoops, doesn't that show that I am desperate? Last night after we got off the phone postponing yet again, I sabbotage texted later that night saying "don't worry about monday. you seem pretty busy. it's fine" which was maybe a little dark. She didn't respond.

    Why did I do this? I just didn't want to seem like I am so desperate, and frankly was ready to throw in the towel b/c it bums me out when I get blown off. The truth is I am desperate so I get bummed out by flakiness pretty hard.

    I know, I know, the really savvy PUA has infinite patience and never shows he's upset.

    I feel I might be able to save this though by continuing with the non-neediness you-seem-busy-no-sweat approach. maybe? I do have other prospects so that should keep me chugging along.

  2. #2
    don pimpin sheezy's Avatar
    don pimpin sheezy is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Lost patience with a flaky girl - regretting it now

    If scheduling things a few days in advance isn't working you may want to try meeting up with her the day of but honestly this chick isn't making much of an effort to see you so I'd start pursuing other chicks.

  3. #3
    uluvtheLD is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Lost patience with a flaky girl - regretting it now

    We have all been where you are..... lonely, then all of a sudden you meet some awesome hot chick. I am not going to get into the basics of creating value, creating attraction, push/pull, etc...... from what you have posted it just seems like the desire she has for you isnt enough so that shes compelled to carve out some time for you.

    I wouldnt have responded with " you are busy , its fine" for someone you havent even made out with yet, let alone met up with. The "its fine" response did convey that you are mad but still eagerly showing her she has a chance. Being blown off 4 times in a row is a lot!!!! I would have replied with " Well i cant keep carving out time like this. I've had to move things around a lot to try to meet up with you. I want to meet up, but i cant keep disappointing or inconveniencing other people. Call me when things are little more settled in your life so we can hang out."

    To be honest she seems like one of those nice girls who doesnt like to hurt peoples feelings. When you guys first chatted on the train, maybe she was being polite with the number exchange and willing to give it a shot. But she clearly is not making any effort to actually hang out, but doesnt want to look bad ( hence postponing and excuses), and as shitty as it is.... shes waiting for you to give up so she doesnt have to look bad by ignoring you or telling you to beat it. Who knows whats going on in her life and it doesnt really matter....4 times in a row is just way too much.

  4. #4
    flynn33 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Lost patience with a flaky girl - regretting it now

    I know this post is over a year old...but its great, and its totally what i'm dealing with now...a flake. I'm going to try the wording here...i can't see a downside, only up.

    -Flynn

  5. #5
    HiDef is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Lost patience with a flaky girl - regretting it now

    With flakes, it's a good idea to think about why the flaking is happening. If you do what you can on your end to fix it, and she still flakes, forget her.

    It's not worth getting hung up on any one girl, especially one who is that immature, or simply not interested, and thus making you the immature one for pursuing something non-existent. Your value then drops and you turn into a Beta AFC.

  6. #6
    pua_wannabe is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Lost patience with a flaky girl - regretting it now

    If this constant flaking is hurting your self-esteem you need to drop it. Move on to someone worth your time and effort. Someone who is going to reciprocate your feelings!

    "No Woman's Time, Attention or Companionship Is more Valuable Than Your Own" Mode One by Alan Roger Currie
    Take her off that farking pedestal!

    “The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.”
    ― Flannery O'Connor

  7. #7
    LockDown's Avatar
    LockDown is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Lost patience with a flaky girl - regretting it now

    What everyone says is true but did you call out her flakiness? I know logistics can go wrong alot, but if your not challenging her flakiness she may just keep doing what she is doing. Teasing her about not being able to keep a date will show her you value your own time more than hers
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  8. #8
    TheSitch is offline Banned111
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    Default Re: Lost patience with a flaky girl - regretting it now

    by the 4th time she realized you were some loser, I use 2 flakes and you're out rule

  9. #9
    Anuks's Avatar
    Anuks is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Lost patience with a flaky girl - regretting it now

    One reason for flakiness, is not building a strong emotional connection. Focus on that. Don't focus on the flakiness.

  10. #10
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Lost patience with a flaky girl - regretting it now

    From experience I can tell that French girls are masters of flakiness. Be cautious when dealing with French chicks and be careful not to be fooled by their stylish look and behavior! There is a monster behind their cute look!

    I picked up a hot hot French chick a couple of weeks ago. She sometimes sends me random texts that must be sent to other guys. they are a copy of texts that she has sent me before. so she does not even bother herself to type the texts! A few days ago I asked her "have you been to blah blah".. and she responded "No!! But I want!!!". Since then I have received a sh1t load of "No!! But I want!!!" messages from her! So I know she is receiving free services from some poor guys but I don't care because I am the one who bangs her!
    The OP sounds like a nice guy who is hurt when his pure feelings and honesty is abused by a chick. Time will fix it. Just learn to be as sinister as girls can be!


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