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  1. #1
    drain is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need some advice. how far am I in dating? Very Complex

    dreadful oneitis. lives from a distance away. I met her at a club when I was out of town and had somewhat of good game on her that night. we went home to Her place. before I left town next day I asked how to contact her and she gave me contact information. its been rolling wonderful since then.

    since she lives from a distance we have been dating kind of intensely on weekends(she has been sleeping over at my place). somehow she was not unfamiliar to the idea to come to my place for whole weekend after we met (we went halfway and I would pick her up by car).

    we've had a perfect relationship-thing going during these intense times. laughing, flirting, teasing, shes been giving me compliments and we both agreed so many times that we like how we talk to eachother,great sex and I've played some kind of game with her about "not going too fast with things", like neg/teasing her after we parted "Oh are you one of those girls who are going to text me aaall the time now?" and she would be like "Nonono, and you are not going to text me!"

    what happens? we text whole week. she takes initiative, and I have too, I use some late response technique and suddenly on actual friday night the weekend after she texts me she would soon be at this same little town where I picked her up last weekend. So I'm like "oh yeah are you going to a party or something?". I knew it was a suggestion but I just played it cool and waited.

    I picked her up. we had another good weekend. She seems all into me in many ways. and we're still playing this role "not boyfriend and girlfriend"

    my problem:
    I'm really getting into her. She texted me in beginning of week and we had a few texts rolling and I noticed her responsing more slowly than usual,(by the way we moved from facebook to SMS-texting during this week) I started noticing how slow she actually was like right before bedtime. so I would be like "yeah its been a rough day so good night" and she would give a quick SMS back, being a little emotional last night about a sad family thing that I told her about that happened the night before. so she sent me some text about that it will be alright and a kiss emoticon after.

    I was like fark yeah. I decided to play it cool and did not text her for all morning, I felt I sent negative emotional feelings when telling her about this so I would just turn it around to text her by lunch that I had a great day at work.

    Now... no response in all day. Nothing happened.

    is she freezing me out? She's been so eager for my attention all this time. Is she trying to (I read on another post) try to make be build more attachment to her by not responding, because she just really likes me that much? or did I do anything wrong?

    yeah this is a distance dating thing. it will be complex and I will see where it leads. and I try to keep my cool and be prepared for the worse; Not seeing her again. Also, we planned lightly in a "maybe" way earlier that I would go to Her place this coming weekend and because of this non-response thing I became a little unsure of whether I should push it to visit her, or not.

    HELP PLEASE ; -) getting crazy over this.

  2. #2
    Virgil's Avatar
    Virgil is offline Moderator / PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Need some advice. how far am I in dating? Very Complex

    You have to make her work for your attention and sometimes you just have to reply a lot later or not at all so she keeps wondering if you're into her.

    Read the line above again, carefully. It's exactly what she is doing to you right now. And it's working. You have to take over that role in this texting situation because it is the position of power - which has to be the man's because that's how female attraction works.

  3. #3
    drain is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need some advice. how far am I in dating? Very Complex

    Thanks man for a fast answer. I am trying to do this and still so hell new to the text gaming thing (and this is super practice for that because I actually learned a lot from doing it this particular time). Shes an HB9 and its pretty much my first Hb9 that I went this far with. Also she's very smart.

    so I need some advice... what am I doing about our maybe/supposedly weekend plans? tomorrow is wednesday and we are pretty much supposed to meet up on Friday. First I was about to take Friday off since we're distant to eachother(different cities) and I would think about make her a phone call and be "spontaneous" maybe wednesday or Thursday just to say "hey babe, it's time for us to do something" because she's like 20 and very spontaneous person and adventurous, but I think about dropping that plan now that I found she is in the position of power at the moment.

    Or could I throw her some kind of nasty and hard push/pull like the "Hey girl sorry but I think I am starting to like you, maybe we should not see eachother anymore.".

    could I counter with a push or is it the stone hard Freeze-Out my way to go from now on, regardless? of course I would like to meet her this weekend. But maybe I have to sacrifice this thought to give her space (she said she wanted me to come "visit her" after last time so it was an invite, she went home Sunday morning)

    thought?

  4. #4
    drain is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need some advice. how far am I in dating? Very Complex

    Okay UPDATE:

    I got an SMS earlier from her all of a sudden that her car is not working and she needs to get to work and just asking how my morning is.

    I figure I should just pace her now totally Freezing Her Out and calling her tonight to see if I we should meet up (I was thinking about making a trip tomorrow)

    Thoughts? Help please. This is really good training ; ) would I land it perfectly breaking the text circle after some pacing and just making a phone call? (she gets to wonder all day now why I don't answer and then phone call, kaboom mega push and then mega pull)

  5. #5
    uluvtheLD is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need some advice. how far am I in dating? Very Complex

    This text game is sensitive because she is also playing it. She even lured you in with consistent texting and then she pulled away. Since she is an HB9, you have to consider that she has game.

    The thing about freezing out, after she froze you out, is that you might come off as petty. I would definitely freeze her out for a few days and text her again like nothing happened. She might ask, and just say you were busy with famiy stuff and hanging out with friends you havent seen in a while.

    I wouldnt ask or even suggest to hang out. Wait for her to make the suggestion. When she does, ask what night she was thinking,...put things back in your court by saying you have plans, and suggest another time or day. And at that point take control and say you want to do X (concert, museum, movie, ) and you want her to come with you.

    All in all it seems to be going well, but you definitely need to do some pushh/pull. I know it sucks to do it when you are really into someone, but i found it to be necessary.

  6. #6
    drain is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need some advice. how far am I in dating? Very Complex

    Thanks for your thoughts. It all is going very well actually. I did visit her this last weekend. She told me she wanted me to come already on thursday night. I had planted the thought that I would need a long weekend earlier in the week because there had been a little of a family tragedy, lots at work, etc, but WITHOUT making suggestions that I would come to her. So she brought that up and I was like "hmmm yeah maybe you could get my mind off work and things for a while, maybe it would be good for me to come visit you this weekend".

    So since this is a distance thing and the push/pull, dominance, leading, everything works so well when I am with her in person, I am trying to avoid text gaming too much. Last weekend I was already invited to come to her for this next weekend. So I said well I do have some plans that MIGHT need me to be home at either Saturday or Monday and I will know this later this week, I said. (Of course I know I will be able to come for the weekend but just for the tease, I will call her today 3 days later and tell her that I will be able to come tomorrow and that we should do something)

    I was thinking now when we during this going week wont meet for 4 days I would give it a little space. Because she is really into me so I actually feel like I have the lead in this whole thing. Well she did text me just some funny thing on FB yesterday but I totally froze her out until I went to bed with a thing like "Hah, yeah okay thats cool ; )" and then nothing more. She didnt answer and I saw she was active commenting other peoples stuff on FB a little while after.

    So I will try to maintain contact without really having a conversation on text. I could send her things like "Yeah girl, you just have no IDEA what I would do with you if I should see you again " totally randomly in a flirty way, etc. And avoid these ordinary daily questions like how was your day etc. I think that could be included though once per week or something?

    We are still playing this "denying" kind of game about our relationship to eachother. We have agreed that we don't see eachother just for sex anymore, that it's not all about sex "Sex is not the Main Thing". Help me with this actually, does that mean she might be able to commit soon?. Also she said in a funny way "GOD you have broken our friendship". I am not quite sure what she meant. But we're playing this game "WE ARE NOT BOY AND GIRLFRIEND" even though I would like a relationship with her exclusively. I just don't push it. Somehow I think she would want it too. She said she doesn't get tired of me and says that she normally do get tired with people shes seeing. After all we spend 4-5 days 24/7 with eachother when we meet and have a great time.

    She did bring some "girl things" up that I do look sometimes like her father etc and if I ever heard about feromones and how you choose your partner just smelling etc (just off the record, she really didnt say anything to me about how I smelled for her, but I got the suggestive point)

    Thoughts? How far am I? And should I avoid text game as much as possible?


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