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  1. #1
    hereweare is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default 1st date follow up . . .

    Hi,

    New here but have read a lot and appreciate any input on this. I'll try and keep it as short as I can, but need to include some background info, sorry if its too long to sort through. Main question is at the bottom:

    Met a girl on a online dating site. Exchanged messages, set a time to meet for drinks. The date seemed to go well, good conversation, had her laughing and engaged. Good Kino, etc. Talked for almost four hours, I walked her to her car closed with a decent kiss. She was definitely into the kiss/ went in for it with me.

    We both left a little drunk and joked about texting the other to let them know we got home alive.

    So got home texted:

    "Made it home alive, hope you did as well. Had a lot of fun with you tonight, probably the most fun I've had with [random joke about a funny aspect of her childhood] ;-) Goodnight pretty girl"

    She wrote back the next morning:

    "Im glad you made it home safe. Thanks for the drinks, I had fun"

    I waited a while to reply because I was busy, but that evening replied:

    "My pleasure. Glad you had fun. I'm working crazy hours [at my exciting job she was really interested in] this week, but let's get together this weekend, Saturday if that works for you"

    A few days went by then she replied:

    "Hey! Sorry about the late reply. I had a great time, but I'm really thinking I'm not ready for date#2. My last breakup still fresh, it feels stranger than I thought to be trying this stuff again. Hope that makes sense . . . "

    I replied:

    "Hi, I understand where you are coming from, I've been there. It feels strange and good at the same time. I enjoyed spending time with you and I'm pretty no pressure, so reach out if you want to give it a try again. Maybe I'll say hello in a bit . . ."

    She replied:

    "Thanks for understanding "

    So I actually did like her a lot, she was cool. We seemed to have a good connection. That said, I figured she was just trying to let me down nicely except that she took down her profile on the dating site a day or so after our date. It really could be anything, got back with her old dude, was honestly not wanting to date, etc. Doesn't matter.

    So I wanted to text her, its been like 12 days and I figure I have nothing to loose by checking in with her. I just wanted some input on what I should say. This is what I was thinking of writing:

    "Hey [Name], hope you have been well. Thought of you the other day when I was working [in the same place she works at, it is true, it did remind me to text her]. How's [work specific stuff] going? Get any new and awesome [kinda sexy clothing item we joked about on date]? ;-)"

    I realize it's all a little lame, so if anyone has any ideas/ input I'd appreciate it. Thanks!

  2. #2
    hereweare is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 144, Level: 2
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    Default Re: 1st date follow up . . .

    Though as I think more about it, the above is pretty AFC -

    Think I would be better with something like?:

    "Chicken tikka or Gnocchi?" [Indian and Italian are her two favorites]

    [Her choice]

    Me:

    "Great, you picked the type of food, I'll choose the restaurant, let's do Saturday at 8"

    This is certainly more Alpha, but it's also pretty inconsistent with how I talked to her before. I did kiss close her on the first date, so I don't know if I would benefit from changing how I talk to her.

    I don't want to break her comfort with me and not use the work line I posted earlier, because she is really into what I do, she thinks it's really interesting, so I don't know the best approach.

    Any help would mean a lot with this, this website is my only good resource at the moment, most of my friends are AFCs . . . thanks!

  3. #3
    hereweare is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 144, Level: 2
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    Join Date
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    Default Re: 1st date follow up . . .

    No input from anyone? Anything would be appreciated . . . trying to figure the best way to handle this out.


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