I've had success at getting a lot of messages on POF with this profile. Its probably better for older women, 35-50.
Iím an ***hole. I wonít open doors for you, in fact be careful as I will likely trip you as you go through the door for laughs and giggles. I expect you to cook for me and clean up my mess after I eat. And by the way, Iím a really messy eater. Food everywhere, on the floor, in my lap, but these are the least of your worries.
I leave my socks on the floor in the bedroom, and yes they stink. I will not do laundry, and insist that you do it. Not just insist, you must LOVE to do my laundry and look forward to it. Look forward to it like you look forward to water in the desert. Look forward to it like you look forward to seeing your family after years of separation. I think you get the picture.
Also I donít do romance, I expect action on the first date, big time action, and I wonít sleep over (yes this will be at your place because I donít want you to know where I live).
POF says that I should also talk about these four points so as I donít waste my time and be successful here, so let me address each one:
1. Talk about your hobbies. Ė kicking puppies
2. Talk about your goals/aspirations Ė finding a rich, super model looking woman to take care of me so I can go fishing all day.
3. Talk about yourself and what makes you unique Ė Iím not unique in the least bit.
4. Your taste in music Ė The Cranberries, Enya, Mazzy Star, Pu$$ycat Dolls, Bjork, Indigo Girls
OK girls, waiting for your emailsÖGO!
More like a first meet, where you pick up the bar tab so I can keep singing raunchy old David Allen Coe songs on the karaoke machine.
After we're totally Effed up, I'll drive you to White Castle for a full course meal, and use my employee discount.
When the cops pull us over, I'll switch seats with you and have you take the fall for me, cuz you love me.
While sitting in jail, I'll say to you "Lets do it again".
Lots of fun replies and quite a few dates from it!
Of course, they figure out that I'm not an a-hole within the first message, and realize its a joke.