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  1. #1
    MoonlightsHaven is offline PUA in Training
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    Default What am I doing wrong on these dating sites?

    There's two dating sites I'm on. I tried different things to my profiles, but nothing seems to work. But I want someone to take a look at my profiles. I get some views, but I can't seem to draw that attraction level. This is how my profiles are layed out currently. This is an example of how my about me is layed out on both pages.

    "He, what's oben? And yes that is the extent of my German besides guten tag. If you don't know what these words mean, Google them. I'm loyal, sarcastic, and a passionate man who likes to have a good time and laugh no matter where I'm at. In my mind is well education and creativity. One of my most favorite places is a beach on a warm sunny day with plenty of open water and sand on the shore. I'm looking for a beautiful woman who is loyal and fun. Someone who is different from the rest. As long as you're not a woman who's about drama like some twisted scene in a drama show, you'll have no problems getting along with me. My time is valuable and I don't settle for less. life is too short. Also don't let my looks fool you. I'm straight forward and not afraid to tell a woman what I want out of life because I am a man! Not some poor little boy who acts like a wuss towards a woman. I'm not disclosing too much only because that would ruin the fun and mystery of getting to know more about me".


    As far as emails I'm usually the one who initiates contact. I'll just give an example of what I write when I email an attractive woman who catches my interests.

    "Hey. What's up? I think you're cute. I like your profile. It gives me the
    impression that you're a genuine woman. I see you like to laugh too. The best
    remedy for staying positive I think. certainly better than to be some gloom bug or a
    drama liama. Lol! As far as your first date suggestion, that is romantic! That
    alone tells me you have an idea of what romance is, which is an important quality to
    have in a relationship. So what's your name and what else can you tell me about
    yourself that's not in your profile? By the way, I'm Michael. It's nice to meet
    you".

    I want to see what my mistakes are in all fields even if one of them happens to be the screen name I use. I want to be myself, but at once I want to get better at this. It's been my long life dream to greatly improve with attracting women online. If you see this and have suggestions, don't hesitate to reply.

  2. #2
    Rocken's Avatar
    Rocken is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong on these dating sites?

    Honestly my friend I think you need some more flair in your about me. Really show off some of that sarcasm. The telling them to google something part is probably not the best and should be removed. If you're gonna run with what it means then I suggest working some material into it and then work a anecdote.

    You're message also needs to more unique and a live with a genuine flow of energy. Like you're going some where and they just have to know where and can they come to. Not literally but you catch my drift. There are hundreds of men sending similar letters to the same woman. You don't want to start off complimenting her because she hasn't done anything to deserve it in a sense.

    I'm new to all this but I'm sure some one else will put it into better perspective but that's my 2 cents on it so far. Wish you luck man.

  3. #3
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong on these dating sites?

    Yeah add more flair and keep it shorter. Read some real estate adverts - they are short and use exaggerated words like 'perfect' or 'outstanding' and there's no reason you can't use that on yourself or your ideals. Say your adventurous and avoid cliches like wanting to be on the beach, dont let my looks fool you, I like to laugh too (cmon man everyone likes to laugh) etc. Also you don't need to state you are holding back information to have mystery, you actually need to hint at what that mystery is. 'I collect instruments' 'i drive a unique car' 'I like to express myself through art' whatever about you that is desirable or mysterious but your not saying exactly what it is. She is more likely to be intrigued then ask 'what kind of car?' 'what instruments you collect', 'you walk around town in a black cape with white gloves??'. You may also wish to subtly hint you are successful and confident in life 'I enjoy my rewarding career and meeting new exciting people'.*

    When I was on dating sites I would hardly say anything but quickly reconfirm my positive traits, say it would be good to chat and wish her a good day. Avoid bringing up anything negative at all like talking about 'drama liama's' and I actually avoid mentioning their looks altogether. Your not on the site to write novels just make contacts. Real simple profile with some spice in there. If you can't think up anything witty or spicy, ask a simple question in your first email like 'have you met many people on line?' or 'what sort of------(from her profile) are you into?' something she will be tempted to write back and get a conversation hook from.

    You could try something creative to attract attention, this is just off the top of my head, so I'm not saying you should use it but consider the style as an example to get across all your traits in an interesting but efficient syntax:

    Bananas make me laugh (your happy)
    Apples keep my doctor away (your healthy)
    Oranges give me trust (hard working, honest)
    Mangoes remind me of holidays (you travel, are adventurous)
    Pineapples make me sweet (your compassionate)
    Cherries make me naughty (you are a little bit of a bad boy)
    Strawberries are for my love (your romantic or thoughtful)

  4. #4
    deepnile is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong on these dating sites?

    Im gonna pick it apart b/c i have issues with the approach you start from and direction you are going.

    "He, what's oben?.... unless ur profile is on a german only site... dont bring out your german heritage as your first point. Why is she going to care at this point?

    "I'm looking for a beautiful woman who is loyal and fun. Someone who is different from the rest. As long as you're not a woman who's about drama like some twisted scene in a drama show, you'll have no problems getting along with me."

    ur first telling them u want beautiful, loyal and fun, then u contradict urself by stating as long as she's not into drama, ull dig her.

    What ur stating is your Ideal mate vs what ull settle for. Thats kinda insulting to a girl who thinks of herself as average (not beautiful) but nice and cool chick. (Why would she wanna be ur less than ideal match, in Her Head ?)

    "My time is valuable and I don't settle for less.<--- YES u do.
    "life is too short." <- oh whats it longer for the rest of us?

    "Also don't let my looks fool you." <-- why would you even say that? What do ur looks say that I would be mislead bout? this is gonna go in a negative direction in her mind.

    " I'm not disclosing too much only because that would ruin the fun and mystery of getting to know more about me"." <-- uve so far told her what u expect, what ull settle for, who u are, and how u unraveled the mystery of your "looks" which fooled her.... man i think u said alot about urself which told her nothing!!!

    did you capture her imagination? oh ya... if u did what is her Picture of u? U didnt capture her, u slightly piqued her interest then confused the sh1t outta her.

  5. #5
    MoonlightsHaven is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong on these dating sites?

    Lol! You all made very good points. Especially you, deepnile. Makes a lot more sense now that you pointed these things out alone. I just redone all of my dating profiles with new photos. But I want to thank all of you for the advice.

  6. #6
    Rakehell is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong on these dating sites?

    Less is usually more on the profiles bro. In my experience a good email gets views and a good profile gets responses. Leave the details for the messages.

  7. #7
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong on these dating sites?

    I don't think your profile is that terrible. I've seen much worse. It could just use some tweaks. Like removing the drama comment completely. Try to focus on saying what you are looking for and not so much what you are not looking for. If you can include a light challenge such as "If you think you are that woman, then I would like to hear from you" Random thought.
    So now I will say what I think about your first message. The longer the message the more it smells of copy and paste. And women get these constantly. Just 3 paragraphs of something that doesnt mention anything unique about the woman's profile. If you want to do copy and paste it needs to be no more than two sentences. If you want alittle longer than make sure theres a part of your first message where you can include something personal. Keep it short and simple so it's easier for them to read and more likely check out your pro and respond.

  8. #8
    MoonlightsHaven is offline PUA in Training
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    Default

    Okay. How's this? This is from my OkCupid profile, but this is the jist of it.

    My self-summary (OkCupid):
    "I'm 33 years old. I enjoy going to the beach, spending time with family & friends, a cold beer once in a while, and living life. I am outgoing, have a great sense of humor, and I'm always thriving to succeed. I'm looking for a woman who thrives on fun, humor, and romance no matter where the scene takes place. If you think you are that woman, then I would like to hear from you."

    And here's the one for POF (a longer version of the first one)

    Description:
    I'm 33 years old. I enjoy going to the beach, spending time with family & friends, kicking back a cold beer once in a while, and living life. I am outgoing, have a great sense of humor, and I'm always thriving to succeed. There are some nights where I stay at home, while other nights I decide to hang out with my close friends. When I'm really in the mood to be adventurous, I'll leave town to head somewhere interesting. I'm looking for a woman who thrives on fun, humor, and romance no matter where the scene takes place. If you think you are that woman, then I would like to hear from you.

    Which one will work best? I could just use both of them on the sites specified where these paragraphs are typed out. I set it up so in a way it's capturing her imagination, yet once she reads the end of it, she'll feel she'll have to qualify herself to me.


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