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  1. #1
    Parra is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Girl went from being really forward to ignoring me?

    Basically I met a beautiful girl at a new job a while ago, we got along really well and had loads in common. I was getting loads of IOIs from her, and was feeling pretty pleased with myself. A couple of weeks later it turned out she was leaving work, and I got her number etc. However when I texted her the next weekend I didn't get a reply. I eventually ended up running into her another week later (it was her that saw and approached me btw) and I asked if she wanted to go and get a drink. We did and it went really well, but when I added her on facebook I saw she had a boyfriend, who she'd recently got back together with. I decided to act like a d1ck and try it on anyway because I was sure she was into me. So I invited her out for another drink later that month, which she agreed to. We ended up getting very drunk and she hinted to me she wasn't happy with her boyfriend and she'd rather be with me. I thought everything was great, but the next time I tried to contact her she seemed distant and uninterested, and when she stopped replying altogether I cut my losses and stopped trying, deleted her number and moved on.

    Two months later I was casually seeing another girl, (not exclusively mind), and I happened to meet the original girl again randomly. She gave me her number again and we started talking, she'd split from her man and seemed to be feeling bad about ignoring me. She began to lay it on really thick, always asking me by text how I was etc and planning dates. We dated a few times and eventually I ended up staying at hers, we made out a lot but didn't sleep together because I'll admit I was a little nervous about spoiling it by doing it right away. Anyway I couldn't see her again for a couple of weeks because we both had exams, but we were always texting/emailing and planning stuff for when we hooked up again. She texted me one day and asked to meet me, so we went out for dinner and a drink after. I noticed some great body language from her, playing with hair, sliding her ring up and down finger whilst smiling at me with her head tilted... (you get the picture). However when we got home she suddenly exclaimed she was "really tired" and after trying to get her in the mood and failing we just slept in the bed with minimal touching. The next morning things felt a bit awkward, I couldn't work out why. As I left I asked her what she was up to this week and if she wanted to go and see a film. She made an excuse which contradicted what she'd said previously but said she might still have time. I sent her an "I had a good time" text the next afternoon to test the water, but no reply. By the end of the week all texting had stopped, so I tried one last time. I got a really weird enthusiastic reply a day later that avoided my question of meeting up, and when I finally made another shot two or three days later she ignored it. I felt completely rotten for ages, and when I accidentally bumped into her again for a third time a week later, I nearly missed her, but her friend said hi as i walked past. I think she saw me too but probably wasn't going to say anything, because when I looked up and asked how she was, where she was going ( it was an evening and they were clearly going to a club) she seemed really distant and cold, and didnt invite me out as I'm sure she would have done before she started acting psycho on me. She then ignored my text a couple of days later asking if she had a good night.

    It's now two weeks later in which I haven't made contact and I'm not sure what I've done wrong. She's clearly changed her mind about me from being really into me (some friends of hers told me she talked about me a lot) to not giving me a thought. I don't know what to do really. I see myself as having two options, deleting her from my phone and fb and not talking to her, or writing her an email and make a lame attempt to find out what i did to upset her and ask her to meet for an hour over a coffee to talk it out.

    I think the problem might lie with her seeing through my confident facade. She's really pretty and has always had a couple of guys available to her at any time I reckon. She has loads of friends and while I'm fairly good looking myself and can make her laugh, I have several issues like anxiety and depression that Im struggling to keep under control. I think my shield of being a calm confident guy slipped at some point which is why she's having second thoughts. I've been using facebook to tag or upload a lot of photos of me having fun with friends and with girls, to make her think I don't give a crap, but the truth is I do and it's painful to think I messed up with a girl I could literally spend all my time with and not get tired of.

    Does anyone have any advice on how I could win her attention back somehow? I'm likely to see her randomly again, we often go out in the same places.

  2. #2
    0Rooster0's Avatar
    0Rooster0 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl went from being really forward to ignoring me?

    Okay, there are a couple things i have seen. First off this girl has probably wanted to have sex with you both times you ended up at her house. The first time when you made out and the second time you just layed in bed with her, thats definitly awkward and not something a sexually confident man does and if she was totally into the you being a dick vibe she probably is insecure and might possibly be using u for validation.
    "I've never seen anyone pull as quickly or as efficiently as you"
    -HarryRat(Simplepicku p)

  3. #3
    Parra is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girl went from being really forward to ignoring me?

    Thanks for the response, yeah thats probably right.. shit Im such a jackass. Is there any advice you could give on how I could get her interest back? I don't want to dig myself deeper into a ditch here.

  4. #4
    Parra is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girl went from being really forward to ignoring me?

    ..and sorry for the double post- it doesn't make sense that she suddenly wouldn't let me touch her the second time when I felt ready to make a move?

  5. #5
    easyflow is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl went from being really forward to ignoring me?

    From what I read, she seems to be wild, but not in a healthy way. Your probably much better off to stay away from her. I get the impression that if you get yourself emotionally involved with her, she is gonna eat you up and spit you out. And you will be f&cked.

    You said she went to meet you while she had a boyfriend. She will do the same to you. You mentioned depression and anxiety, with a mood disorder you don't need a girl who is gonna be out flirting and doing sh1t that is gonna mess with your head. I would delete her from FB, delete her number. Stay away from her, she will take what she can from you, and leave you when she is bored.

    If you find you are really thinking of her in a sexual way, rub one out and the feeling will pass.

    This is my advice. You have to ask yourself, is someone bringing me more suffering or more joy into my life.

    Honestly I wouldn't put any effort into this one. I also wouldn't beat yourself up about it either.

    If your just looking to have sex with her, you had 2 opportunities and both times it never happened. Let it go. Move on.

  6. #6
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl went from being really forward to ignoring me?

    Easyflow is right. Two opportunities passed you by and the good thing is next time that ever happens you will know you have to pounce and be more aggressive. It's happened to me many times when I was younger. It doesn't happen anymore - if she's in my bed were having sex.

    You could try one last time to get full closure to the situation but it's a long shot and I think a better attitude and strength could be gained long term from moving on. She is a girl who didn't move on but you are stronger than that and will.

  7. #7
    Parra is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girl went from being really forward to ignoring me?

    Cheers for the replies everyone. You're probably right actually. I think at least I'm going to try and see other people for the meantime anyway.

    I also think that you guys are probably a little older than me and are dating women that are way more into the dating scene. Although my girl was pretty, she is also quite shy and I could be wrong but I think she's not the kind of girl that would go out to bars with the intention of being chatted up. I think she prefers half shy/ half outgoing guys that can sweep her off her feet over a period of time like I originally managed to. (remember I met her friends by accident and they said she was telling them about me etc) Shame I had to ruin it though huh?


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