Has anyone here been in a relationship without declaring themselves bf and gf? Like, you both know you are in one but never mentioned it. You all started off being great friends but underneath it all there is something going on. You both began to do things together as a couple but never declare to each other as a couple? I think a girl that i have great rapport and trust in is heading there.
To give the background, have this girl in my class that i met in May last year and over the course of that year, we began to be really great friends and she confided in me things from her life that she never told anyone else aka trust. Before meeting in 2011, she was in a 5 yr relationship but it ended in 2010 because the guy was insecure. Her first time was with him and not long after that, breakup happened and of course, she was devastated as she is a bit religious. She pretty much recovered and moving on (so i believe)
I was not interested in her first since i was checking another girl but as that did not work out, my focus is now on her since March. She always sent me a bit of cues that she likes me but i think as my mind was on another girl, it became a good challenge for her. We go out from time to time but as i don't want to look needy, i will turn her down once in a while. I did some Kino on her and she has responded so far favorably. We flirt from time to time, in some cases sexually suggestive. A good example, while walking she might say, "i just did my hair, it will get wet" (from the rain). I would say, "well, being wet is not such a bad thing." She will smile and give a somewhat sexual look while i lock my eyes on hers, but at the same time, she would play it off as in "oh my god you said that?"
My opinion is that because she invested in the previous relationship and got burned 2 years ago, i think she is being really cautious in having a relationship with me thinking she would get burned eventually. She already has the philosophy that a relationship would start off great and then as times goes on, you will see the real person and things will go downhill. Because of this, i guess she believes in "time to know the person" and asking her to be my gf might be too early. She did tell me already in casual conversation that she still doesn't know a lot about me. (which might be good to keep the mystery going?) Three times i made an attempt to ask her to be my gf but in all 3 times, something got in the way like school, her parents and one of my friends had planned something without my knowledge. I think we are heading to be a "non declared relationship" but underneath it all, between the lines, we would be in one. What you all think about being in a relationship that "just happened" without saying anything? Behaving as a couple but never declared ourselves a couple? How to navigate this one? Thank you for reading my "essay" appreciate it.