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  1. #1
    jn85 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Did I handle this FLAKE well?

    Met a HB at the mall yesterday and opened by commenting on her necklace. Talked for 10 min then took her number. She text me to validate it was her and saying nice to me you. Anyway later that night I text back that I was craving some hooters wings that she should join me tomorrow around 1pm. She said okay great. I actually expected her to flake and she did. Im not upset or anything Im just trying stuff out and getting experience so I could care less. I called her today 1hr before we were going to meet with no answer. She text at 2:02pm

    Her: Sorry I was sleeping
    Me: It's cool sleepy head lol I got another friend. The wings are fire!
    Her: lol I agree fried pickles are good too
    Me: Yuck! can't do fried pickles but love pickle juice
    Her: lol yes me too!

    I felt AFC by saying its cool but I read somewhere that its better to act cool. Like I said im not bummed because I expected her to flake and im kind of glad she did so I can get a flake under my belt and see what works to handle it. I wont text her back until she text me. If she wants to reschedule with me I'm going to act like my weekend is full which it is and tell her to hit me up sometime next week. So did I handle this the right way or did I go AFC? Thanks guys

  2. #2
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Did I handle this FLAKE well?

    In the beginning you should act cool with the flake. But when it becomes a pattern, if you have enough rapport, then you will want to handle it on a more personal level. For now just keep it cool.

    I think by mentioning you brought someone else and that the wings were fire was great. It showed that you weren't too attached to her coming out. So in a way, you flaked on HER.

    Because you only had time to talk for 10 minutes, you may want to consider buildling comfort over the phone until you meet again. And then casually mention you are going to a party and that she should come along or something. Keep up the good work man. Ya did fine.

  3. #3
    jn85 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Did I handle this FLAKE well?

    Awesome thats why I said it that way instead of just "its cool" Should I flake on her when we plan something again? I was thinking play like it never happen and dont flake being its still really new. If she flakes again I'll just delete her number.

  4. #4
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I handle this FLAKE well?

    If her flake was due to that she was sleeping then you may want to consider flaking on her. Also if she flakes and the reason isn't good enough then it's important for her to make it up to you. Make it a humorous thing and show fun vibes and you should be fine.

  5. #5
    jn85 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Did I handle this FLAKE well?

    Okay I'll follow your advice. Thanks

  6. #6
    mackdaddyjacK's Avatar
    mackdaddyjacK is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Did I handle this FLAKE well?

    Maybe it's just me but saying "it's cool" isn't that an AFC move? This sounds to me like you are trying to please her and give away your power. Granted I am not a master at this but I think saying something to bust her balls. Like "You owe me one " or "I can't believe you! Are going to make it up to me by making me dinner tonight?" or even being cocky like saying "You don't know what you're missing, I was out looking for other girls." Something to keep her thinking that she doesn't mean squat to you so you don't develop oneitis.

  7. #7
    jn85 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Did I handle this FLAKE well?

    I thought about that but figured being cool and having someone else join me showed I wasnt that invested in her being it was her first flake. Also I havn't text her back since so im not chasing her like a puppy and being needy like other AFC she prob flaked on that are texting her I think this comes across as I'm alpha and wont waste my time with flakes. If she text me again I'll act like it never happen unless she brings it up. I'll tell her she owes me. If she flakes again I'll freeze her out and delete her number. She know I'm higher value then her bc of our convo we had. Correct me if I'm wrong because I'm still learning. Anyone?

  8. #8
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I handle this FLAKE well?

    You seem like you got most of it down. So there's not much more I would add. But remember Cat String Theory. You are good about NOT dropping the string in front of the cat on the floor, but also don't want to completely Take Away the string either. She won't chase either way. If you want some practice, see if you can stay JUST out of reach. Saying things like "I would've loved to hang out with you, but you never called me" rather than "You didn't call so that's why we didn't hang out" Theres more of a pull in the first example which makes you JUST out of reach.

  9. #9
    jn85 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Did I handle this FLAKE well?

    I havn't text her back and ended up going out of town with an old FWB. Well the HB from the mall called me while I was checking in my hotel Friday night. I didnt want to talk long bc didnt want my FWB to know. Anyway she was calling me because she said all her friends weren't doing anything tonight and she had nothing to do and wanted to see if I wanted to go out in town. I told her I was out of town for the weekend to call me next week. She began to talk about something when I cut her off and said "I'm checking in my hotel I'll let you go, call me sometime next week" The phone call lasted 1 minute. I sent her a text about 2 hrs after.

    Me: [club name] is having a foam party. Go check it out!
    HB: ugh not tonight lol

    I havn't text her since. I kind of feel like an a** for cutting it short but to tell you the truth I felt good about it because of her Flake. So should I call her to see whats up and schedule another meet up or play it cool and wait for her to contact me? Thanks guys


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