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  1. #1
    Mikalichov is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Girl lashing out

    This is one of the big advantage of online game, you can meet situations you haven't met in real life, and learn how to deal with them

    Anyway. There's this girl I messaged with:

    Heyyyy (yeah, I'm drunk-okcupiding you)
    just to say that 94% is a lot, might be a new record
    also, it seems like you are switching between a lot of different styles, do you still manage to know what's your own's?
    Yeah, I was drunk. and she had pictures with totally different looks, like tank top + tattoos, then super hipster like look. I was not really expecting an answer, but heh:
    in what sense does it seem like i am switching between a lot of different styles? maybe i don't understand the question?
    You can already feel the unamusedness, but heh, a reply is an ioi right? So I figured I would just answer:
    Well, you switch between a badass look, a "normal random college girl" look, and an almost hipster-ish look, so I was just curious about what the "real" you looked like
    Ok, I realize this was kind of bad. "normal random college girl" and "almost hipster-ish" are big negs, and there is no calibrating or softening. Anyway, that's when sh1t hit the fan:
    i find it nearly impossible to believe we are a match at all. what a depthy analysis. it's a lot of work to shuffle all these different masks i wear, and the real me struggles to come out.... i just can't decide who to be! but your probably right, i shoudl settle on one stereotype to shove down the throats of everyone i meet, it seems to be working so well for you. if i ever wanna hang out with someone who is french, and more french, and what people want french to mean, and what people think french mean, and more french on top of that - i'll be sure to be in touch. gotta go find myself a stereotype that really fits tho... i'm light years behind you in the whole self image arena. if we were to like meet in a high school cafeteria or something, i'd have a really hard time choosing where to sit, and that'd be embarassing, so.
    So now I'm confused. I think I hit a sensitive spot haha. She is clearly not the kind of girls I date usually anyway, so I don't really care about how it ends up, but I'm curious about what you're supposed to do when there is this kind of lash out.

    I see 4 possibilities (the examples are just off the top of my head, so they kind of suck, but you see the idea):

    Blocking the attack, which is pretty AFC:
    Waow, I just meant to talk about the looks, no need to overreact
    Dodging it:
    Haha fair point And so you're a teacher?
    Striking back (i.e. negging) :
    Ha, sensitive point eh? Someone's not sure of herself and don't like it to be noticed?
    Taking it in the face, like a man, which is the most PUA I think:
    Oh, yeah, i'm the biggest french stereotype you will ever meet. The usual french stereotype you see in movies? It's tv producers who came in France and saw me and were like "oh sh!t, this is the frenchest guy ever", and tried to copy me. yesterday a german knocked on my door, I f*cking gave him my house, that's how french I am
    Your opinions? On why she reacted like that, AND how I should answer?

  2. #2
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    Cody is offline PUA All Star (RETIRED)
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    Default Re: Girl lashing out

    "Wow, you're fiery aren't you? :P"

    "Thank you though. I deserved that for being such an asshole. You're courage to tell men what they need to hear is admirable. Coffee @ [Time] @ [Place]?"

    ^You've completely altered the dynamic by doing the opposite of what she expects from you. Few men admit to being assholes, and women LOVE IT when they do. dhv by being willing to poke fun at yourself. Go for the date because she wouldn't be talking to you if she wasn't still interested. Plow through.
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  3. #3
    FauxPas is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl lashing out

    Mikalichov, FauxPas here. I didn't know you were the Frenchiest, French man in all of the French world! Ha, ha! I tip my hat to you for trying to learn from such a difficult situation. I have always thought that I learn the most when I look back on any situations that have completely blown up in my face. PUA will not work in every single situation. There has to be an unwritten agreement, in a way, that says both the HB and the PUA are open. You never really know how her day has been going. She could have just been let go from her employer, she could have just come from her doctor with a sad diagnosis. Online dating makes it hard to convey/read certain human qualities/emotions. This being said, I'd say thanks for your time, and take care. Then I'd head off for the next HB! Good luck, good vibes. Ciao, FauxPas.

  4. #4
    surferdude is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl lashing out

    I agree with Cody. Either she was just pissed and you and felt like sending a fiery response, or you're still in the game and she wants to see how you take a little heat.
    It's not over, keep it up :P

  5. #5
    Mikalichov is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl lashing out

    Haha, thanks guys! Well, to be fair I really don't intend on going anywhere (not my type either physically or spiritually, and she has a bf), but I still want to manage it correctly, to be prepared when I encounter the same situation in the field

  6. #6
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    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Girl lashing out

    Go with Codys response of "You're fiery aren't you?" It shows that you are rising above the current situation and taking a notice of one of her traits. It also shows that you are interpreting her response as an ioi. Honestly, in my opinion if this was online and she could've easily just NOT responded then this is a good thing. Going for a direct date is a bit risky though since she is still upset and this is online and she could just not respond altogether. I would suggest follow up with, "Not everday that someone responds to my drunkeness with such passion. I think I'm starting to see which style you are..." This creates a bit of intrigue and will hopefully evoke a response. You could ask a general question to evoke a response, however asking a question is an IOI and her response (even though she responded) is still a form of an IOD. So asking a question is risky. Let us know how you respond and if she does also. Very rare type of occurance when a woman lashes out Hope this helps and good luck.

  7. #7
    Mikalichov is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl lashing out

    Sent:
    A fiery one, aren't you?
    But thanks, not everyone finds the courage to answer my drunken assholeness with such passion. I'm starting to see which style you are now..
    Yeah, this is totally a rip-off of your advice, but heh Too bad though, I really loved my joke about being super french and giving my house to the first german I met

    Also, just a random question, can someone explains what that meant:
    if we were to like meet in a high school cafeteria or something, i'd have a really hard time choosing where to sit, and that'd be embarassing, so.
    I didn't go to an american high school, so I just don't get the reference

  8. #8
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Girl lashing out

    Lol a lot of "our" material is not really ours. We share it with each other, then take it and make it somewhat our own. So I am flattered.

    The reference I believe is that it has to do with, at school you usually sit with your click. Jocks with jocks, goths with goths, geeks with geeks. That sort of thing. So she's saying because of her apparent different styles she would not know where to sit. This is my guess.

  9. #9
    Goostave is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girl lashing out

    Yes its from the different stereotypes you see in American movies about high school kids who hang out with those who are like themselves. So you say she has many looks and she would feel awkward if she were back in high school.
    I think she is sh1t testing you, that might be her personality and how she screens potentials. Keep it going to see where it gets you thats what makes one better.

  10. #10
    Mikalichov is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl lashing out

    Aaand here it is:
    ? don't message me again?
    Have to admit, even though I'm not interested (kind of a white trash, not my thing at all), and would probably have flaked on her anyway, but it still hurts my inner game. Probably going to stop approaches for a couple of days, else I might sound needy (trying to find external validation to compensate)

    And find comfort in the fact that if I continue training, I'll be able to get this kind of girl begging for sex héhé


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