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  1. #1
    Infrared is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Question 1st date frosted flake.. 2nd chance here

    Watsup fellas? What's a good first date idea, besides a bar/restaurant? One of my aa traits is still just with that.. a museum? sounds ok. A zoo? sounds cheesy for first-time.. outside art expo? hmm..

    I've gone on a couple dates lately and one wasn't for me, I wasn't for the other one lol.

    I'll jump to it, I'm a poor date planner ha. I'm trying to get some response from a similar, different thread but I guess ya'll have been busy or something hhaha

    This girl I met online I've been working a LOT of text game with, and we haven't met up yet. For one I was out of town the first weekend we started talking about hanging out. I think it's building Comfort, but I don't wanna become her text buddy either- matter of fact she's texting me right now I have spoke to her on the phone a few times to- "real-time phone attraction" or something haha.

    The point is, last night we had a 'vague' date planned of going to a restaurant, then going to a new talent showcase at a bar/music venue. Bars- bad first date idea I know, unless you meet the girl at a bar. The freaking faux-paus about them.

    So she initially flaked, and texted me back a little late. By that time I said 'fark it' and went out solo- I wanted to get some food, plus game on other girls to get over the problem a bit

    But she kept texting me along the way like 'are you there yet'- umm, does that mean you wanna go? Is what I was thinking. 'Oh your on the train now, are their any weirdos' Normally I would've spurred some joke about that, she is funny, but I wasn't amused with her then and just said 'lol no not really, law abiding train folks'.

    *Inside joke about monkeys in hats* and so on. I made text replies light-hearted, but short at this time since she was still showing interest, but wasn't just 'coming straight out with it'.

    That's a bunch of the back log anyways. The deal is now, I don't want to ask her to a bar again, or a restaurant.. I want an interesting, but simple date. I think we have a lot in common, so I wanna be cool with her on the whole 'vibe' of the date.. but don't worry no one-itis here
    This girls been eating out of my hands basically, but now I think she's either a little timid to meet me in person, or she might even be playing me for her own amusement (don't really think so, but I have to wonder)

    Well the first paragraph of this post is the point lol, I just had to fume. Any good date ideas? After a 'bar date' flake?

    Thanks, and peace!

  2. #2
    ridah28 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: 1st date frosted flake.. 2nd chance here

    I've done the whole dinner, hiking, blahh blahh blahh for first dates. Has lead to a lot of $50-70 bills I've had to pay with and no second date. After wasting enough of my time and money, I've found that doing anything that requires you to go too much out of your way for a first date is a waste of time. Nowadays, I usually just do coffee, sometimes even Jamba Juice, lol, and a drink or two at a bar, no more than 1 hr and I bail, come up with some excuse. If the girl likes you, she will wonder why you are cutting the date short and it will up your value. She may even confront you about it, which is a good thing. You can then plan a second date accordingly, possibly dinner, bowling, etc..., depending on how responsive she is to you via text and the feeling you get. If she isn't into you or doesn't care, then you wasted no more than a few bucks and 1 hr of your time! Def move on to the next one.

  3. #3
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: 1st date frosted flake.. 2nd chance here

    I agree with Ridah - the best first date is by far a simple casual drink (coffee or wine at a lounge bar) or casual meal (at a cafe not fancy restaurant) and to plan on it being a quick date rather than the whole night. If it goes well you can use up the rest of the night of course but make out to the girl that you are only giving her a small window of your time not that you are an open book full of loneliness and boredom. It also gives the girl less pressure as she knows she's not having to commit to some lengthy drawn out unknown quantity. I will often say 'Im fairly busy this week to meet in the evening, but we could meet thursday for lunch'...or 'I could meet you for a quick drink thursday night'. You're both adding value to yourself through the time constraint (you are a busy popular man) and making it much more easy for her.

    You really cannot go wrong with casual food and drink and if you look at what most girls want on a first date on dating websites its almost always casual drink, food and chat. CHAT is the keyword because on a first date you want to connect with a person chatting - talking. Many dates you hardly end up eating much food anyway because you're talking so much!! (at least you both should be). Museums, hikes, movies forget about it...it's just not needed and you're not providing much opportunity for talking. Save those for later dates. The number one thing a girl wants on a first date is a good conversation. A bar or restaurant are ok too - they are not neccessarily bad at all, but may be perceived as being too formal or too energetic, noisy, busy etc.

    The main thing is you enjoy chatting online or via text so you want to ask the person out to TALK in person. The actual location is secondary to talking. Tell her you enjoy chatting with her. Girls will almost always say they also enjoy chatting to you too (if they don't say that back why the hell are they writing to you!!). Then the 1st date can be centred around talking so choose a place that is really easy, really cheap and really comfortable to chat. 'I like talking to you (insert her name) lets talk in person'. her 'ok, where, when?' you 'I'll meet you outside this little cafe on blah blah street, they have good coffee, wine, juice, pasta, bagels (whatever)'. It could even be just a 1 hour lunch date. That is all you need to seed yourself into her mind for good with your charming verbose. If a girl consistently flakes on such a casual offer that is ultimately centred around 'talking' she has issues or is playing games. Move on.

    In fact usually if you take a woman somewhere cheap and casual they will often pay. Often I date for free and only end up paying if it's on the second date (by which time I'm basically guaranteed success because a girl will not go on a second date unless she really likes you). Some women will obviously be using this as a tactic to hook you in for a second date but again that is all good. Im still in control and I know they like me. In most cases you cannot beat an easy going casual meal or drink. It goes back through millions of years of evolution. Hunter brings meat and honey back to the cave and tells dramatic stories illuminated in the camps firelight.

  4. #4
    Infrared is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: 1st date frosted flake.. 2nd chance here

    Thank u gentlemen, I appreciate your feedback.

    Seeing as you both mostly emphasized the same point, I'll try to stick with that.
    A casual coffee/bite/drink is the best thing to do it seems.
    If it goes well u can always bounce to a plan B, and maybe a plan C

    I usually think of fairly hip little places to go, but I just stress it too much sometimes. I think it's the fact of never have meeting in person b4 is what makes it different, about internet dating anyways.

    Well I think this girls out of the picture now, she might've just been playing games in the end. She seemed a little too young for me anyways though..
    So it's all good, I'm moving on
    Cheers!

  5. #5
    Infrared is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: 1st date frosted flake.. 2nd chance here

    I guess I haven't totally moved on yet.. just sent her a last ditch text- with a reply, it summed up our chats and jokes vaguely:

    'Hey ur totally missing out on monkeys doing backflips for coke in other countries.. but if ur too busy I understand.'

    Her: haha that's funny

    Me: true story lol

    Her: where?

    Her memory is actually kinda bad so I'm gonna be a little direct now I guess..

  6. #6
    Gregg Burke is offline Banned PUA
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    Default Re: 1st date frosted flake.. 2nd chance here

    Admin Note. This user has been banned for spamming.


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