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Thread: This time I need your help - online dating question

  1. #11
    urbancowboy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: This time I need your help - online dating question

    Quote Originally Posted by BatMan View Post
    So I really don't post questions on my own situation. I like to think that I can handle most of them. But I also understand that I do not want to seem like an untouchable expert.The truth is I am simply a man with an opinion......that I still make mistakes myself and sometimes don't have the answer. I'm not interested in bragging rights and only post successful sarges. My interest is to help guide in any way I can. So with that I am giving back and asking YOU guys on a current situation I am in.

    As some of you know I have been getting very heavily into understanding online dating. I am slowly wrapping my head around it and notice some things (such as dating sites have a different atmosphere compared to social Ex: Facebook, Myspace, Tagged etc.). But am far from perfecting it.

    Theres an HB8 I have been messaging. Got her number and we were texting. She went cold only after day one. Figured it was something I said, but I didn't see any "deal breakers" in my text so after day 4 I deleted her number. Figured it may have been another guy or and ex. Happens all the time and you can't do anything about it. Now the alpha in me wanted to let it go for good, but the social scientist in me wanted to push and see where things went. So I went back to messaging her on the website POF. It was very casual "Hope your day is well" kinda of stuff with a joke or tease thrown in once in a while. Sometimes she would respond, sometimes not (I can tell when she reads the messages and she has read them all). So as a farewell type of thing I sent this to her...followed by her response.

    Me: My apologies. Sometimes I get wrapped up in my own fun that I don't always catch a hint until really late lol. It's unfortunate though, I was really interested in getting to know each other better. Happy fishing hun

    Her: Lol sorry I've been a little busy I thought I gave you my number anyways

    I know this is a Sh1t Test since she is suppose to have my number and has never text me. So what are some of your ideas on how to respond?
    So, I'm probably the least skilled of anyone here but I think this can be broken down step by step. So she still reads everything you write to her on POF but she's lukewarm, sometimes replying, sometimes not. She also went cold over texting after just one day. I'm gonna assume she was pretty into you when she gave you her number since she gave you her number. In my opinion, she might've wanted you to just make a bold move and immediately ask her out instead of bullshitting around anymore. By not doing that, she's questioning how much of a man you really are. She's not sure either way, which a glass half-empty, half-full scenario. I'd say wait until the weekend is over and text her something "Hey, the barista who made my drink at Starbucks looks just like a hotter version of you and it made me think to text you." I'm hoping you kept another copy of her number somewhere. If not, you can always msg something similar to her.

  2. #12
    Infrared is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: This time I need your help - online dating question

    I don't know off the top of my head Batman, but this seems like a common situation. I get quite a few contacts, and numbers, but rarely does it steamroll into a good pace convo and a date, and even when it has for me it isn't always a good 'click'. Not to go on a tangent though..

    There could of course be a number of options why she went cold, as you mentioned. But since you deleted her number than pretty much said 'adios' and she replied but kind of ambiguously, u can still reel her back in I'd say. If you had a good 'click' with her before.

    Just say hey well I lost your number (if u want makeup whatever reason) and say well hey send it again and we can chat about a time to setup a meetup *add in whatever inside jokes u may have, commonalities, etc.

    You kind of disqualified yourself so that's ok, it puts a little bump in the road which is cool, if she responds great, if not oh well right?

    I also like just calling a girl rather than texting.. it puts a familiarity to your name and shows u won't be weird or awkward in a real convo. When u move from email to texting, ur still kind of like 'silent partners' or 'text buddies' which makes it easier to drift apart- because you have no vocal or physical connection, it is kind of subhuman in a way lol.
    Just to throw that in..

    Hope that helps bro good luck!

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