Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12
Like Tree1Likes

Thread: This time I need your help - online dating question

  1. #1
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 31,552, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social25000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Awards:
    Most PopularCommunity Award
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    2,151
    Points
    31,552
    Level
    100
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 12 Times in 12 Posts
    Rep Power
    1389

    Default This time I need your help - online dating question

    So I really don't post questions on my own situation. I like to think that I can handle most of them. But I also understand that I do not want to seem like an untouchable expert.The truth is I am simply a man with an opinion......that I still make mistakes myself and sometimes don't have the answer. I'm not interested in bragging rights and only post successful sarges. My interest is to help guide in any way I can. So with that I am giving back and asking YOU guys on a current situation I am in.

    As some of you know I have been getting very heavily into understanding online dating. I am slowly wrapping my head around it and notice some things (such as dating sites have a different atmosphere compared to social Ex: Facebook, Myspace, Tagged etc.). But am far from perfecting it.

    Theres an HB8 I have been messaging. Got her number and we were texting. She went cold only after day one. Figured it was something I said, but I didn't see any "deal breakers" in my text so after day 4 I deleted her number. Figured it may have been another guy or and ex. Happens all the time and you can't do anything about it. Now the alpha in me wanted to let it go for good, but the social scientist in me wanted to push and see where things went. So I went back to messaging her on the website POF. It was very casual "Hope your day is well" kinda of stuff with a joke or tease thrown in once in a while. Sometimes she would respond, sometimes not (I can tell when she reads the messages and she has read them all). So as a farewell type of thing I sent this to her...followed by her response.

    Me: My apologies. Sometimes I get wrapped up in my own fun that I don't always catch a hint until really late lol. It's unfortunate though, I was really interested in getting to know each other better. Happy fishing hun

    Her: Lol sorry I've been a little busy I thought I gave you my number anyways

    I know this is a Sh1t Test since she is suppose to have my number and has never text me. So what are some of your ideas on how to respond?

  2. #2
    Brock491 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 62, Level: 1
    Level completed: 24%, Points required for next Level: 38
    Overall activity: 0%
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    5
    Points
    62
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: This time I need your help - online dating question

    Let me start by saying that I am fairly new to this and my opinion should have that in mind. I have dealt with the no text back problem before and as frustrated as I get which is a byproduct of my enormous ego, I try to turn it into a joke. That way I address the issue without making things overly serious or weird.

    I like say something along the lines of this. "I didn't get a response and I think I developed a texting complex. I just cant seem to send a message anymore and I thinking about seeking therapy for this."

    Also, I was wondering if you could view my POF profile Funguy4U491. I have been getting frustrated with the lack of responses. I usually message something like this.


    Ok, so I like to laugh and make everything into a sarcastic joke. It happens, right? Let me start by stating that my pictures are 100% real. I did not download them off some modeling site. LOL. Now. I could write a resume. Tell you all about me. Like I am applying for the position of the guy you are going to hang out with on Friday, or whatever. But that would be boring and dull. I might fall asleep doing that.
    I could list out interrogation questions! Ask you things like what you do for fun? or maybe something like. "So where are you from?" Oh, I know, I could just delete all of this and type "Hey wazzup? Saw your profile. Ur cute! hit me back and we can chat.”

    The truth is that I never really know what to say but I know the point that I get across. I want to talk to get to know you better. I then add something that indicate that read there profile.

    Hope this help and appreciate any advice you could give me.

  3. #3
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 31,222, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social25000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Awards:
    Posting Award
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Southern Michigan USA
    Posts
    2,558
    Points
    31,222
    Level
    100
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 9 Times in 8 Posts
    Rep Power
    1391

    Default Re: This time I need your help - online dating question

    As one of my other PUA friends "Hydro" put it- "Online Dating is like fishing with Dynamite".

    And that's absolutely true! It can be as easy as dropping explosives into the water, & just scooping them out with a net.

    BUT on the other hand, sometimes you get a couple that manage to wiggle away. I've had that happen dozens of times myself.

    Occasionally it's possible to re-initiate effectively, but most of the time you're better off "re-baiting & dropping the hook" so to speak.



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  4. #4
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 15,299, Level: 79
    Level completed: 90%, Points required for next Level: 51
    Overall activity: 99.0%
    Achievements:
    Social10000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    1,032
    Points
    15,299
    Level
    79
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    675

    Default Re: This time I need your help - online dating question

    Ask her out. If she's as busy as she says she probably won't want to waste time. Test HER.

    Ultimately that's what online dating comes down to - finding the real contacts that really want to meet up in person. There are a lot of time wasters on there and simply a lot of average girls. The good ones get flooded out of the water by a lot of attention. The dynamite mostly brings up carp. Better to fly fish a fresh mountain stream with a few beautiful trout.

    There is also a stigma attached to online dating that is different to other scenarios that certainly changes the way you respond and communicate. Perhaps with many people there is a touch of embarrassment with online dating and that carries through to how people communicate and judge people. It's easy to think 'oh... it's that guy from POF' rather than 'oh! it's that guy I met through my friend on Facebook!'. Facebook or meeting someone randomly in other ways doesn't have the naked 'I'm single and don't have a partner' focus that an online dating site has. There is also a formality and seriousness with dating sites that is not really all that fun or interactive. I think it makes people a little more critical or judgmental. It's like everyone is a plant put into a pot and so it's hard to see full potential or grow wildly and rapidly. It's easy for women to go cold. Even if you quickly move to text or even a date the first impression is always through the lens of the dating site's infrastructure. It's sometimes hard to connect with girls you would normally ace with in other situations.

  5. #5
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 15,299, Level: 79
    Level completed: 90%, Points required for next Level: 51
    Overall activity: 99.0%
    Achievements:
    Social10000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    1,032
    Points
    15,299
    Level
    79
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    675

    Default Re: This time I need your help - online dating question

    You should check out another thread I responded to today about online dating. http://www.puaforums.com/how-pick-up...t-respond.html

    Your message is too long, too risky, trying to hard and not immediately or acutely saying who you are in virtues (why you are attractive and why she should write back). You don't have to be bill hicks or create star wars. You just want her opening the door for you. You are making the common mistake of writing to yourself, being presumptuous or trying to dhv yourself by joking about bad introductions as some kind of comparison. Just write 'hey____! (her name - that is enough to indicate you have read her profile) I am a smart, handsome, happy guy with a smile you could sail on and sparkling saphhire eyes. I am ambitious, passionate and love the full spectrum of good living. I am stylish but also down to earth. Id like to get to know you. Have a great day! _____(your name)'. Or say something short sharp and brilliant if you want to stand out and inspire them. Grab a line from a song lyric that sums up your attitude if you cant make one yourself. Only say something funny if it really is funny, otherwise it's a risk. Don't talk about things you wouldn't do, bad things or dull things even sarcastically - embellish your virtues like a restaurant describes its meals. As it stands she has no idea who you are, she has no idea what the bait is and there's not much point you writing so much filler when you also don't really know her. You also admit that you don't know what to say. Say that you are smart, handsome and fun with 100% conviction. Women are after a man not monty python. Only comment about something on her profile if it's extremely unique or important to you (compatible).
    Quote Originally Posted by Brock491 View Post
    Let me start by saying that I am fairly new to this and my opinion should have that in mind. I have dealt with the no text back problem before and as frustrated as I get which is a byproduct of my enormous ego, I try to turn it into a joke. That way I address the issue without making things overly serious or weird.

    I like say something along the lines of this. "I didn't get a response and I think I developed a texting complex. I just cant seem to send a message anymore and I thinking about seeking therapy for this."

    Also, I was wondering if you could view my POF profile Funguy4U491. I have been getting frustrated with the lack of responses. I usually message something like this.


    Ok, so I like to laugh and make everything into a sarcastic joke. It happens, right? Let me start by stating that my pictures are 100% real. I did not download them off some modeling site. LOL. Now. I could write a resume. Tell you all about me. Like I am applying for the position of the guy you are going to hang out with on Friday, or whatever. But that would be boring and dull. I might fall asleep doing that.
    I could list out interrogation questions! Ask you things like what you do for fun? or maybe something like. "So where are you from?" Oh, I know, I could just delete all of this and type "Hey wazzup? Saw your profile. Ur cute! hit me back and we can chat.”

    The truth is that I never really know what to say but I know the point that I get across. I want to talk to get to know you better. I then add something that indicate that read there profile.

    Hope this help and appreciate any advice you could give me.

  6. #6
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 31,222, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social25000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Awards:
    Posting Award
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Southern Michigan USA
    Posts
    2,558
    Points
    31,222
    Level
    100
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 9 Times in 8 Posts
    Rep Power
    1391

    Default Re: This time I need your help - online dating question

    It's true that you DO have to weed through a bunch of different species of fish... Although, that's a better problem to have than not catching any at all.

    I've always waited a little longer before tossing the TNT into the pond.... like right as the wick has a couple seconds left before ignition/explosion.
    That way, MOST of the crap...I mean carp stay at the bottom. haha!

    I don't think the stigma of online dating is quite as harsh as it may have been a decade ago... but it's still a touchy subject for some people.

    But the biggest "plus" about online dating is, you can have a dozen women or more at one time that you're chatting with; and with all the options available, it allows you to assess which one(s) to put more focus on.
    (Especially when you're just starting out & "getting your feet wet" )

    Ba-Dum, Psssss!!



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  7. #7
    jaoatp is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 57, Level: 1
    Level completed: 14%, Points required for next Level: 43
    Overall activity: 0%
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    2
    Points
    57
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: This time I need your help - online dating question

    Quote Originally Posted by BatMan View Post
    Me: My apologies. Sometimes I get wrapped up in my own fun that I don't always catch a hint until really late lol. It's unfortunate though, I was really interested in getting to know each other better. Happy fishing hun

    Her: Lol sorry I've been a little busy I thought I gave you my number anyways

    I know this is a Sh1t Test since she is suppose to have my number and has never text me. So what are some of your ideas on how to respond?
    A "sh1t test?" Dude, this girl is not "testing" you. There is no little chess match going on inside her head on how best to handle her situation with you. Girls do not sit down and analyze these situations; and if you think they do, then go find me a female equivalent to forums like this one. Average looking girls or better just wait for dozens of guys per year to swoon over them, reject 'em all, then complain that there are no decent guys out there. And that is in real life. To translate that to what girls do on dating sites, replace "average" with "tolerably ugly/chubby," and "dozens" with "hundreds." Or maybe thousands; who knows.

    My point is, their situation leaves little need to think about or emotionally invest in their interactions with guys. Thus, my assessment of your situation is as follows: She doesn't give a f*** about you. Drop it and invest your time/energy into someone who does.

  8. #8
    flynn33 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 184, Level: 3
    Level completed: 68%, Points required for next Level: 16
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    23
    Points
    184
    Level
    3
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    12

    Default Re: This time I need your help - online dating question

    I think what BatMan is pushing here (and i just went thru this) is as alpha male trying to game her back...simply to do it because, well, we are the alpha males.

    I recently went thru a texting cycle where I did get her back from oblivion, but i had to play up some things (i.e., stories..."Hey, was just out at the best concert by _______, backstage later was wild...")....and did a daily or semi-daily "Hey....i'm out doing this blah blah blah..have a great day" followed by some freeze-outs for a few days. Back and forth...took a MONTH till we started some daily phone calls. Which then led to setting up a date.

    So...that's what I did...and it did work to a point of lining up a date...but it took A LOT of my effort (too much....lol). But it became for me a challenge...and that was fun when it worked.

    That's my advice...seemed to work.

  9. #9
    flyer1's Avatar
    flyer1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 1,149, Level: 19
    Level completed: 49%, Points required for next Level: 51
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    113
    Points
    1,149
    Level
    19
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    57

    Default Re: This time I need your help - online dating question

    It seems you are in a tug of war with a lady who has probably gained a lot of attraction through online dating, and who has her pick of suitors, and she is gaming you as well as you gaming her. She probably has her pick of men so your job is to be different from the rest of the AFC, and in the process keeping your alpha male strong. Most guys would probably wuss out and start texting her back constantly if the other guys arenít doing it now which then would lead to begging. Whether itís a sh1t test or not, I canít really say but all I do know is you canít buckle under the pressure and lose it.

    I am going through something similar right now I just texted this HB9 a few minutes ago using some stuff from the text bible but knowing her she does game hard because a few guys that I know went down in flames trying to close on any level with her. So knowing this I will game her right back and play the waiting game and not take her serious. I always keep me a few girls on the side for occasions like this where I am not desperate, and f closing is no big deal, and my actions conveying this to her also. I would seek out other ladies online and try to establish a connection with them or even try meeting ladies elsewhere, and wait it out until the HB8 comes down off her high horse and she will. I am a big fan of options until I find the right person for me but until then I will play the game to win and so should you. Stay alpha strong my brother!

  10. #10
    flynn33 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 184, Level: 3
    Level completed: 68%, Points required for next Level: 16
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    23
    Points
    184
    Level
    3
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    12

    Default Re: This time I need your help - online dating question

    Quote Originally Posted by flynn33 View Post
    I think what BatMan is pushing here (and i just went thru this) is as alpha male trying to game her back...simply to do it because, well, we are the alpha males.

    I recently went thru a texting cycle where I did get her back from oblivion, but i had to play up some things (i.e., stories..."Hey, was just out at the best concert by _______, backstage later was wild...")....and did a daily or semi-daily "Hey....i'm out doing this blah blah blah..have a great day" followed by some freeze-outs for a few days. Back and forth...took a MONTH till we started some daily phone calls. Which then led to setting up a date.

    So...that's what I did...and it did work to a point of lining up a date...but it took A LOT of my effort (too much....lol). But it became for me a challenge...and that was fun when it worked.

    That's my advice...seemed to work.
    One MORE thing on my success above...the one PROBLEM with it is that one puts a lot of time/effort into it...so it sort of builds up the Oneitis a bit...so mentally one has to be prepared for being a bit too much into her


Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Need some help with online dating
    By hi512 in forum General Questions
    Replies: 2
    Last Thread: 07-05-2012, 02:36 PM
  2. online openers plus weird question help
    By viruscast in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 16
    Last Thread: 06-24-2012, 08:25 PM
  3. Dating Tease...am I leading them into this question?
    By Viscus in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 03-05-2012, 02:10 AM
  4. Online Dating
    By jimbo1123 in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 3
    Last Thread: 08-10-2011, 02:34 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com