Okay guys, I’m fairly new to this PUA stuff. Being introverted I thought I’d start out with online dating as I felt it’d allow me to build a bit more comfort/rapport and thus I’d be less awkward when I begin properly ‘sarging’. I have put some of what I have learnt into practice with varied success. Being new to the game I thought I’d be pretty afraid of commitment since I wanted to make up for all the lost time over the last few years due to shyness. However recently there is this amazing girl who I met online, she is a HB9, intelligent and funny the only problem is she lives about two hours away. Overall she is amazing and I probably have a severe case of one-itis.
We built a really good rapport (probably over did it with the messaging which may be a symptom of the distance dilemma). She is about two years older than me, 23. We met about three weeks ago for dinner and drinks which went quite well despite my nervousness, I later stayed at her place and did f-close her although I was pretty terrible due to inexperience. The entire time I couldn’t help but feel she was way out of my league both in terms of personality and appearance, my looks are pretty modest and I’m quite thin as well as having the personality of a loser. Something which I was afraid of but thankfully didn’t eventuate was awkward silence, there just seemed to be a connection. Anyway since our first meeting we messaged quite often, I had a few AFC moments in letting her know that I thought she may be out of my league although she said ‘don’t be silly’ and told me she found my nervousness endearing or ‘cute’. I thought ‘Great! Looks like I’m being friend-zoned’ and called her out on it saying something to the effect of “cute?... not sexy enough to f***?” to which she assured me that wasn’t the case.
Anyway we arranged a second meeting, I was visiting her city for other purposes as well, but she flaked just before I was about to meet her. The reason being I thought was justified…at first I was a little persistent and let her know my disappointment. Initially she seemed really keen about seeing me, she messaged me that morning letting me know this however I didn’t read the message until later and before I could respond she used the excuse of having her... meaning there’d be no sex later that night. I told her not to worry and I’d still like to see her. She then told me she couldn’t see me and would explain later, and after an AFC moment of showing my disappointment I used a dhv and let her know I’d made other plans so as to not seem to sad about it.
I messaged her later on and she told me her reasons (she was having a few problems). She was also a bit emotional so I was supportive and we both opened up a bit in regards to our feelings which previously I was trying to play my cards close to my chest. She told me she likes me because I’m intelligent, sweet and funny. She seemed very regretful and upset about not seeing me and told me she’d visit me instead next week. We kept in regular contact except I generally waited for her to contact me first, later that week she flaked again saying she was unable to see me the next week- busy. Reasons once again seemed fair enough, so I told her it didn’t matter I was busy as well.
She didn’t respond to my last message I sent her so I froze her out for about five days. Last night I got a message from her asking ‘whats up with you game player?’… to which I responded quite AFC’ish telling her I’d challenged myself not to message her and had also been quite busy. She pretty much said that was silly and I justified it by telling her it had allowed me to gather my thoughts about her. She didn’t reply to that so I told her I wanted to see her again and she since hasn’t replied which leaves me in a huge dilemma. So far my game has been reasonably solid, I’ve been relying on a cocky-funny approach and a self-depreciating sense of humour to differentiate myself from other guys. (she is aware of my inexperience-finds it ‘cute’- and has told me she has slept with quite a few guys) Now she hasn’t responded I guess she’s effectively freezing me out and I’m reluctant to freeze her out again. My question is would it be worth sort of sh1t-testing her? I’m thinking, since I’m fairly sure she likes me would it be possible to tell her I don’t really see us going anywhere or something along those lines. Perhaps using the long distance thing as a convenient excuse? I’m hoping she would act with a bit of defiance to the suggestion and it would put me back in control. I guess it’s fairly risky but would telling her we haven’t seen enough of each other and I’m sick of messaging back and forwards help or hinder the situation?