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  1. #1
    Andyh1710 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Mixed messages- next move?

    Hey,

    This is my first post so be gentle!

    I have somehow got myself into a situation which has become far more complicated than it needs to be. Apologies if this goes on a bit, I'll try and keep it short.

    So I met a girl at a party about 3 months ago, smoking hot, easily HB9, and got on great with her. Spoke to her for quite a while at the start of the night then let her get on with doing her own thing. Later on she came back over, we chatted more, got drunk and eventually she kissed me. She ended up staying at my flat. We didn't have sex but were both naked in my bed and messed around. She had told me during the night that she'd just come out of a 3.5 year relationship and wasn't looking for anything serious, I said that's fine, I'd just come out of a relationship also.

    Anyway, got her number, texting back and forth a bit during the week (she takes at least 24 hours to text back which really annoys me) and I ask her out for a drink the next weekend and get no response. I let a week go by and text her again pulling her up for ignoring "my very nice invitation. But I'll give her one more chance to see my pretty blue eyes again". She bites and replies saying she didn't reply as she isn't looking for anything serious so didn't see the point but she's coming round to my way of thinking. I eventually persuade her to come out with me and we have a great time, I kiss her at the end of the night after she makes a joke about just being friends, then tells me if I want anything more I have to "prove myself".

    Again bit of back and forth texting and then the next saturday I get a text asking if I have slept with one of her friends, she says she doesn't mind if I have just wants me to tell her. I had, long before I met her, so figured I may as well just own up and try and play it down. I get ignored after this and after another week text her stating that she obviously is pissed off. She says she was at first but is over it so let's meet up again, but just as friends. Over the next two weeks we never seem to be free the same nights so it never happens and eventually I get pissed off and just give up.

    A month passes and I get a random text asking how I am and if I'm still as busy. After a bit of chatting we agree to meet up (but just as friends) and actually set a date. So that was Thursday just passed. We had a fantastic night, lots of laughing and everything was really comfortable and just really fun. It couldn't have gone better. Well it could have, the whole "I just want to be friends thing" has completely thrown me off kilter so I didn't even kiss her this time. There was lots of flirting on the night, lots of contact and teasing from her to me but I wasn't very tactile at all, which may have been a mistake.

    She text me on Friday morning making a joke about if I got home alright, she thought I might have got lost (I was 30 minutes late for the date due to getting lost) and I replied, although haven't had anything back. Like I say it is usually at least 24 hours before I see a reply. She did apologise for this habit on Thursday and said she was actually surprised I wanted to see her again due to her being so rubbish at texting back.

    So overall somehow I have gone from sleeping naked in the same bed together, to kissing at the end of a date, to not kissing at all. I am utterly perplexed as to how I have managed this but am now worried I'm taking up residence in the friendzone.

    I do think that because Thursday went so well it may have gone some way to reversing the "I just want to be friends" mentality with quite a bit of groundwork, she was definitely into me, I just cocked up by not acting on it.

    So firstly, do we reckon this one is dead and buried? And if not what should the plan of attack be? I'm thinking a repeat of Thursday but being a hell of a lot more forward with my intentions? And if it goes wrong it goes wrong but at least I'll know.

    One piece of advice is needed though. I am generally quite touchy feely with girls but only once an obvious sexual relationship is in place. I am useless at Kino on dates due to the fear of a rejection and then awkwardly trying to continue the date. And I think to recover this one I'll have to learn pretty quick, so any advice on that is welcome.

    Apologies for the long windedness of this, needless to say she is a hard work.

  2. #2
    Virgil's Avatar
    Virgil is offline Moderator / PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Mixed messages- next move?

    Yeah, be direct with her the next time because this is going to drive you crazy. Tell her your full intentions, whatever those are. If you'd just like to be friend with benefits, tell her. The same goes for if you'd like an exclusive relationship.

    Whatever you tell her, do so in the most alpha way possible. Confident. Eye contact. Low voice tonality. Don't apologize for expressing your desires because they are completely natural.

    If she says no, just let it go. You can't let a woman drive you crazy like that. It's not worth hassling over one woman, facing obstacle after obstacle, while there are other women out there who you could get it on with a lot easier.

    As for Kino, here's the place to be.

  3. #3
    pwonager is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Mixed messages- next move?

    Thanks Virgil, can't wait to read the ebook.


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