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  1. #1
    Ronin is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Has your confidence taken a beating?

    I have been neglecting my online profiles for a while now, because I just get so disillusioned due to my lack of success in the online dating arena. Getting the silent treatment from everyone you try to talk to starts to chip away at your confidence after a while.

    Now this isn't just for me, cause I know this happens to everyone. Online or IRL.

    My question to the forum is, after a serious dry spell, what can you do to pick up the pieces of your confidence, so you can get back into the hunt with renewed vigor?

  2. #2
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Has your confidence taken a beating?

    I suggest making small goals and meeting them. Like making a girl laugh. Or get her to touch you. Also understand that something WILL work. You just have to keep trying different things. Like changing your bio or photos. Even your first message to her.

    Remember, online is very different from in-person. So I would not base your lack of success online to real life. Its just a different formula that has to be used. Hope this helps and good luck.

  3. #3
    rafnyc427 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Has your confidence taken a beating?

    yea i have a similar problem only thing its not only online but in person as well. i feel like im trying everything and nothing seems to work. im feeling like im never gonna meet anyone and concidering just giving up. i asked for help all over but i get no response.

  4. #4
    Verge is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Has your confidence taken a beating?

    Hey Ronin.
    What BatMan said is very true. Make small goals and stick with them. But I know that feeling after messaging 10 women and getting no response. You feel like you've gained 100 pounds and just want to throw it all away and sleep it off. It SUCKS. I don't have the answer but what's helped me is this

    1. Go listen to your favorite comedian on youtube.
    2. Go browse other guys profiles and see how clueless they are
    3. Realize it happens to EVERYONE and it's just the way the game works.
    4. Read the PUA Forums and see who's been having problems and empathize
    5. If nothing else; eat tons of chocolate. (Ok maybe not)

    I'm not an online dating guru by any means and I'm learning just like you. If you need anything man just PM me.

    -Stephen

  5. #5
    topgunningit's Avatar
    topgunningit is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Has your confidence taken a beating?

    Whats the rush? Always go slow, have fun and enjoy your state of being. Look, if you are a fun outgoing type of person, you will attract others. That includes women and solid friends. No rush, just go out have fun and meet people

    In regards to the online dating scene, it is the same. Posting-up pictures of you and a bunch of friends and women enjoying life as it is will encourage others to join in on the fun.

    So in a nutshell, think of self first.

    Quote Originally Posted by rafnyc427 View Post
    yea i have a similar problem only thing its not only online but in person as well. i feel like im trying everything and nothing seems to work. im feeling like im never gonna meet anyone and concidering just giving up. i asked for help all over but i get no response.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ronin View Post
    I have been neglecting my online profiles for a while now, because I just get so disillusioned due to my lack of success in the online dating arena. Getting the silent treatment from everyone you try to talk to starts to chip away at your confidence after a while.

    Now this isn't just for me, cause I know this happens to everyone. Online or IRL.

    My question to the forum is, after a serious dry spell, what can you do to pick up the pieces of your confidence, so you can get back into the hunt with renewed vigor?
    ------------------------------------

  6. #6
    Ronin is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Has your confidence taken a beating?

    Quote Originally Posted by topgunningit View Post
    Look, if you are a fun outgoing type of person, you will attract others. That includes women and solid friends. No rush, just go out have fun and meet people

    In regards to the online dating scene, it is the same. Posting-up pictures of you and a bunch of friends and women enjoying life as it is will encourage others to join in on the fun.

    So in a nutshell, think of self first.
    Now see, this is a problem. I suspect that the biggest reason I am not getting replies is that I'm not able to present myself as a fun and outgoing person. Because I'm really not. I can offer lots in the personality department but not much when it comes to lifestyle.

    I suspect that during a dry spell, the best thing to do is work on self improvement. Pick up hobbies, learn something, work out, and naturally your confidence will recover. When you feel better, get back in the game.

  7. #7
    Mikalichov is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Has your confidence taken a beating?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ronin View Post
    I suspect that during a dry spell, the best thing to do is work on self improvement. Pick up hobbies, learn something, work out, and naturally your confidence will recover. When you feel better, get back in the game.
    Great outlook on life man, you'll get a stronger inner game :thumbsup:

    As for sending 10 messages and not getting a reply, that's nothing man, don't worry about it. I regularly see guys sending a 100 messages to get 3 or 4 answers, and that's quite good too

    I get a 1/3 to 1/5 reply rate, and I feel quite successful at it; girls can ignore a lot more easily online than in real game, so they do. It's a game of numbers, but even more so online


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