First time on this forum, though I have been casually reading online PUA stuff for a few years. I've read that guy Roissy in DC for example. Just whatever pops up in Google searches.
Ok introduction then my discussion topic. I'm 39, divorced twice. My second ex was a drunk, gorgeous blue eyed blonde 8 years younger, and I got primary custody of our son. I also have an older son from my first marriage and am responsible for my obligations.
I'm good looking, and YOUNG looking. Really, i compete with 30 year olds. My only two physical attributes that have been somewhat esteem stifling are my height (5'8") and the fact that I at one time gained weight in my first marriage, lost it after the divorce, and my mid section will never look good nude without surgery. I work out for maintenance, but having a 3 year old and a home to maintain cuts my personal time.
I really don't know how much I benefit from "game techniques". I have always had pretty good luck being me. In the past year and a half, I've dated a 32 year old, a 33 year old, had a few weeks of "fun" with a hot 28 year old, been on dates with a 27 and 25 year old, had a great date with a 31 year old recently (my topic subject), and have a 29 year old that I work with giving me a game of chase.
The problem is, in the past the women I have caught long enough to date or marry have been fairly easy catches. They were needful women (they all are but these in particular). My second ex wanted someone to accept her drinking problem and hid it and used her womb to trap me and her current BF. (learned my lesson snip snip).
But I have had difficulties with patience in going after the more challenging ones. I've always convinced myself the hard to get game was actually lack of interest. But currently I have two high quality hard to get women in my sights (the 31 year old I went out with and the 29 year old I work with).
I have been going after the coworker for well over a month. We actually work in different areas, never see each other, and have different schedules. Both have kids which complicates making a date. I have had 2 dates cancelled due to work and kid issues.
But I honestly am after the 31 year old more heavily. Met her online a few weeks ago, at first she seemed super interested, then I had silence for a week. Got a message after that time that she had wasted a week talking to a loser. My first comment was "see that's what ya get etc" and made a joke of it. Been Internet dating long enough to be secure and understand that some guys move in quicker and you just gotta be ok with it and not be a jerk if they come back to you as option B. option B is far ahead of the 500 other idiots spamming her inbox with corny pickup lines and wussy openers.
Anyway, so after the contact was reinstated, I quickly moved to get her number and take her offline. I played a little game to get her to agree with a date, she dropped hints about no weekend plans.
We saw a live band outdoors, had some close in dancing, all told I got 3 light kisses including the good night, and held hands lightly as we walked to my truck to leave. She asked for the text to let her know I made it home safe etc.
The next day, I got a good morning text. I gave it a bit of time and told her good morning and that I had some calls to make and would text her in a while. On a side note, the last login time on the site was after that morning exchange, and I found she had hidden her profile. I believe the good morning text was a "test" to see if I was still in the game and gave the go ahead to hide her profile and quit dealing with the losers. At first I didn't realize this, I let myself wonder if she was playing me against other men.
Ok so it's been like 5 days and the hard to get game is on. At first I think I might have been a little eager, I suggested later in the afternoon of the morning after the date that because it was rainy a phone call would be great. She kind of blew this off citing time constraints. Turned out her son did have a ball game. The next day I texted and said good morning. She was at work and said she was busy. Her field, very likely. I waited all day and close to when I figured her shift would end, I asked what time she'd be off. She said, and I promised a call to make plans for another date. I sent one more flirty text complimenting her kissing skills.
I did call later, rang to voicemail, and left a short message. Got a text later that she was at a friends house. Didn't reply to that, just went to bed. I even turned off my phone.
Next day I got a good morning text, and I was busy at work and let her know, she said she was off, a while later I replied that she was just rubbing that in to make me jealous. I commented later about her sons being home and made a joke about grocery shopping for boys. I got a LOL and a comment and let it go the rest of the day.
After work I sent her a seductive toned text reliving how I had focused on her lovely neck on the date with some light kisses while dancing. I wanted to spark that tingle that I know she felt (she leaned into them and bowed her neck longingly)
No reply to that text and I didn't text all night.
Next morning, I waited til almost noon and jokingly said I better get my good morning in real quick before 12. She replied in 2 or 3 messages with a very excited to hear from me tone. I commented about how busy it's been, sons gymnastics and other things and she mentioned the baseball tournament and a game that night. I told her to let me know the outcome and didn't text her further. At close to bedtime I got a pic texted to me of the team with a trophy.
I waited ten minutes and told her I knew she was proud, to tell me all about it tomorrow, I had to get my son to bed.
Today I have not texted nor received a text. I plan on calling tonight, asking about the baseball tournament and working in plans to go canoeing.
But I'm tempted to text today. I told myself I wouldn't text at all yesterday but went with instincts instead of a script, and got seemingly very excited replies. I think there is a line you walk between keeping them on their toes and seeming so disinterested that it frustrates them. I really don't relish or enjoy being manipulative and want that part of the initial game to end. I don't feel good about this ritual until I have that second date behind me. Then I can move in a little more aggressively.
Texting is a game that I feel is still unchartered waters in the world of dating. And I also wonder how different the whole thing is with older men and women 30s, 40s with kids and busy lives. I do find myself having to step outside my natural box. I'd prefer to have another phone call behind me, and plans set up for that second date.
So an analysis of my very long message would be appreciated! And I do know it was very long and detailed and will ruffle somebody for dragging on LOL