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Thread: The Intent of Texting: Doing it Right

  1. #1
    Cody's Avatar
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    Default The Intent of Texting: Doing it Right

    I honestly don’t understand why we have an entire section devoted to Text Game. There are many other (better) topics that could be broken down and exploited: Qualification, Pre-Selection, Anti-Flaking Tactics, …anything really. Texting shouldn’t be broken down because it doesn’t NEED to be broken down. Most of you guys are turning it into something more than what it is. What do I mean by that? I mean you’re texting too much.

    Did you get that? Let me say it again. You’re texting too much.

    Why do I say that?

    Because The ONLY goal of texting should be to set up your next interaction.

    That’s it. Not to build comfort. Not to build rapport. To set up your D2. That’s it. Capisce?

    You should literally be able send a handful of texts after your previous interaction to properly initiate your second. How? Because you told her you would text her the next time you wanted to see her.

    So let’s say I met this girl in one of my classes and told her we were going to have a study date before our next test.

    Me: “7:00pm, NE corner of The Union, Thursday. Bring your books and prepare yourself. I take this sh*t seriously

    Don’t over think it. “Cody, don’t you think I should ask her? Like, when is she free and when is it going to be convenient for her?” No, I don’t. Actually, stop asking girls anything (for the most part). They want you to be decisive and make decisions. If they’re going to say no or change plans because it won’t work for them, they’re going to do so regardless of whether you asked them or told them, so just tell them instead of asking because it ups your chances.

    If you still need convinced on WHY you should lower the amount of your texting, let me tell you the two walls that you’re going to hit from texting too much.

    1. You’re going to f*ck up. You are. The more you talk, the more likely you are to say something that she doesn’t like, and since all of this is happening on a screen you can’t easily recover. She’ll flake at the click of a button.

    2. You’re going to create a false sense of intimacy that cannot be matched in person, and this is the one that guys always think comes out of nowhere. Why? Because you think you’re doing great, and to a certain extent you are! But it’s on a different level; an emotional level, and once you meet up again it’s going to be awkward. Really awkward, because you haven’t matched it with physicality. That’s why Kino is important. You can’t build emotional comfort separately from physical comfort while expecting no negative (bad/awkward) tension. You can try, but I can almost guarantee that you’re going to hit LMR. [Granted, a select few of you won’t because you know/have learned how to properly implement a power frame, but you guys are few and far between. If that’s you, why are you reading this anyway? Go have sex.]

    So text less. Get to the point and don’t waste her time on the phone when you can be enjoying it together in person.

    [Note:] I know the last section will probably be difficult to understand. If you want more on it, I’m willing to give it, but only with fair warning that it is advanced theory. I explained the easy, more often travelled way. Power framing is hard and not for everybody.
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  2. #2
    DandyLion's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Intent of Texting: Doing it Right

    Quote Originally Posted by Cody View Post
    I honestly donít understand why we have an entire section devoted to Text Game. There are many other (better) topics that could be broken down and exploited: Qualification, Pre-Selection, Anti-Flaking Tactics, Öanything really. Texting shouldnít be broken down because it doesnít NEED to be broken down. Most of you guys are turning it into something more than what it is. What do I mean by that? I mean youíre texting too much.

    Did you get that? Let me say it again. Youíre texting too much.

    Why do I say that?

    Because The ONLY goal of texting should be to set up your next interaction.

    Thatís it. Not to build comfort. Not to build rapport. To set up your D2. Thatís it. Capisce?

    You should literally be able send a handful of texts after your previous interaction to properly initiate your second. How? Because you told her you would text her the next time you wanted to see her.

    So letís say I met this girl in one of my classes and told her we were going to have a study date before our next test.

    Me: ď7:00pm, NE corner of The Union, Thursday. Bring your books and prepare yourself. I take this sh*t seriously Ē

    Donít over think it. ďCody, donít you think I should ask her? Like, when is she free and when is it going to be convenient for her?Ē No, I donít. Actually, stop asking girls anything (for the most part). They want you to be decisive and make decisions. If theyíre going to say no or change plans because it wonít work for them, theyíre going to do so regardless of whether you asked them or told them, so just tell them instead of asking because it ups your chances.

    If you still need convinced on WHY you should lower the amount of your texting, let me tell you the two walls that youíre going to hit from texting too much.

    1. Youíre going to f*ck up. You are. The more you talk, the more likely you are to say something that she doesnít like, and since all of this is happening on a screen you canít easily recover. Sheíll flake at the click of a button.

    2. Youíre going to create a false sense of intimacy that cannot be matched in person, and this is the one that guys always think comes out of nowhere. Why? Because you think youíre doing great, and to a certain extent you are! But itís on a different level; an emotional level, and once you meet up again itís going to be awkward. Really awkward, because you havenít matched it with physicality. Thatís why Kino is important. You canít build emotional comfort separately from physical comfort while expecting no negative (bad/awkward) tension. You can try, but I can almost guarantee that youíre going to hit LMR. [Granted, a select few of you wonít because you know/have learned how to properly implement a power frame, but you guys are few and far between. If thatís you, why are you reading this anyway? Go have sex.]

    So text less. Get to the point and donít waste her time on the phone when you can be enjoying it together in person.

    [Note:] I know the last section will probably be difficult to understand. If you want more on it, Iím willing to give it, but only with fair warning that it is advanced theory. I explained the easy, more often travelled way. Power framing is hard and not for everybody.
    Really well written, Cody.

    I especially like the false sense of security section and how most guys mess up when it comes to this.
    Regards,

    DandyLion
    ďTo live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.Ē

  3. #3
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    Default Re: The Intent of Texting: Doing it Right

    But is it okay to text often, but just send flirty Push-Pull texts to maintain attraction and not really go into the emotional side? I text a LOT but keep it all very light...

    & I read a lot about what you're saying but my way works for me. Finding out little quirky things about her gives you things to tease her about in person, and it's not like you're sharing your life on text.

    Thoughts?

  4. #4
    Cody's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Intent of Texting: Doing it Right

    To each his own. If it works for you, cool. By all means keep doing it, but I'm old school.

    "Focus is passe. In the modern world we want to feel everything all the time. There is no point in just taking a walk in the park when we can also listen to headphones, munch on a hot dog, crank up our vibrating soles to the maximum, and check out the passing carnival of humanity. Our choices shout the creed of a new world order: stimulation! Thought and creativity have become subservient to the singular goal of saturating our senses. But I'm old school. If you are not prepared to focus on me when you are with me---conversation, touch, our momentary entwining of souls---then get out of my face and go back to your 500 channels of surround-sound life." - Juggler
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  5. #5
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    Default Re: The Intent of Texting: Doing it Right

    Quote Originally Posted by Cody View Post
    I honestly don’t understand why we have an entire section devoted to Text Game. There are many other (better) topics that could be broken down and exploited: Qualification, Pre-Selection, Anti-Flaking Tactics, …anything really. Texting shouldn’t be broken down because it doesn’t NEED to be broken down. Most of you guys are turning it into something more than what it is. What do I mean by that? I mean you’re texting too much.

    Did you get that? Let me say it again. You’re texting too much.

    Why do I say that?

    Because The ONLY goal of texting should be to set up your next interaction.

    That’s it. Not to build comfort. Not to build rapport. To set up your D2. That’s it. Capisce?

    You should literally be able send a handful of texts after your previous interaction to properly initiate your second. How? Because you told her you would text her the next time you wanted to see her.

    So let’s say I met this girl in one of my classes and told her we were going to have a study date before our next test.

    Me: “7:00pm, NE corner of The Union, Thursday. Bring your books and prepare yourself. I take this sh*t seriously

    Don’t over think it. “Cody, don’t you think I should ask her? Like, when is she free and when is it going to be convenient for her?” No, I don’t. Actually, stop asking girls anything (for the most part). They want you to be decisive and make decisions. If they’re going to say no or change plans because it won’t work for them, they’re going to do so regardless of whether you asked them or told them, so just tell them instead of asking because it ups your chances.

    If you still need convinced on WHY you should lower the amount of your texting, let me tell you the two walls that you’re going to hit from texting too much.

    1. You’re going to f*ck up. You are. The more you talk, the more likely you are to say something that she doesn’t like, and since all of this is happening on a screen you can’t easily recover. She’ll flake at the click of a button.

    2. You’re going to create a false sense of intimacy that cannot be matched in person, and this is the one that guys always think comes out of nowhere. Why? Because you think you’re doing great, and to a certain extent you are! But it’s on a different level; an emotional level, and once you meet up again it’s going to be awkward. Really awkward, because you haven’t matched it with physicality. That’s why Kino is important. You can’t build emotional comfort separately from physical comfort while expecting no negative (bad/awkward) tension. You can try, but I can almost guarantee that you’re going to hit LMR. [Granted, a select few of you won’t because you know/have learned how to properly implement a power frame, but you guys are few and far between. If that’s you, why are you reading this anyway? Go have sex.]

    So text less. Get to the point and don’t waste her time on the phone when you can be enjoying it together in person.

    [Note:] I know the last section will probably be difficult to understand. If you want more on it, I’m willing to give it, but only with fair warning that it is advanced theory. I explained the easy, more often travelled way. Power framing is hard and not for everybody.

    @CODY: Appreciate the opinion, but your WRONG!

    True.. Qualification, Pre-Selection, Anti-Flaking Tactics all that pre-game makes you more successful in whatever you do.

    However, text game is MASSIVE and gives you access to tons of girls you normally would not have access too.

    Your example: You meet girl in real world, have some interaction, and then you verbally set up a date, and then your using text as a easy way to communicate those details... GREAT.. less text, more meet! Go for it.

    Clearly you are not using ANY text game, because your's is 100% in person. You build the rapport, trust and interest during your face2face time with her.

    JUST BECAUSE YOU DON"T USE TEXT GAME, DOESNT MEAN THERE IS NO USE FOR IT

    There is tons of situations where your going to have a number and NO rapport where she WILL NOT just come running to "NE corner of The Union @ 7pm" just because you text her.
    eg. You message girl online, then transition her to a phone number
    eg. Run into girl at club, talk for serious 30 seconds, Number Close...
    eg. your friend gives you some random girls # to contact


    Quote Originally Posted by Cody View Post
    1. You’re going to f*ck up. You are. The more you talk, the more likely you are to say something that she doesn’t like, and since all of this is happening on a screen you can’t easily recover. She’ll Flake at the click of a button.
    WRONG! When calibrated to the girl, the more you talk to more interest and attraction you CAN build. If you have no calibration and just talk sh*t then YES, more talking is going to fu*k it up. So learning better text game will improve your results and lower your flake rate.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cody View Post
    2. You’re going to create a false sense of intimacy that cannot be matched in person
    WRONG! You CAN create true intimacy over ONLY text....
    YES, you need to have good transition skills. So when you meet up in person, you need to know how to smoothly transition and not be awkward with her. But thats physical game, , so go to the other sections of the forum and learn it.

    Case & Point
    #1) I live in vegas, most girls are only here for 2 days then gone. I rarely number close unless she insists she WILL visit vegas again to see me. So i focus on SNL or nothing...
    myself & my friend DETAILS quick pull a 2 set, take them back home.. I winged him. HEs making out with his girl on couch, my girl is 100% frigid, wont kiss or anything. she is NOT drunk at all, she pushes me back each time, has NO interest in getting physical... bascially i get no where with her, not even a KISS! so they leave in the morning and I number close her. We text back and forth, building rapport and attraction, we talk about sex, her, me, light sexting, sex toys, etc etc.. talka bout her visiting me, blah blah blah..exactly 2 weeks since she left, she flies back, I pick her up from airport, she stays at my place for the weekend, and we have sex every night...
    She went from 0-100 with no dates, no coffee, no meetings.. just 100% TEXT!!!

    So while I was still going out and doing club , street game, daily I would text with her back and forth build from that.. It was using time I was at home doing nothing, or when I was bored, etc...

    #2) There has been MULTIPLE times where I have contacted girls on POF in a different city that I was going to visit, 100% texted with them, and then the first night I arrive they jump into bed with me... All of that build up over TEXT with no face2face time..


    So for anyone that says TEXT less, is wrong. There is TONS of places where text is a awesome resource to have and use that CAN build comfort, rapport, attraction or even relationships from!!!
    Helpful? "LIKE" my post + "THANKS" me...
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  6. #6
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    Default Re: The Intent of Texting: Doing it Right

    Quote Originally Posted by DandyLion View Post
    Really well written, Cody.

    I especially like the false sense of security section and how most guys mess up when it comes to this.
    Yes, most guys are not good at building intimacy or comfort over text. It CAN be done in many situations...
    The correct solution is: practice more, learn more, try to get better. =) And I think that what this section of the forum is about... improving text game!
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    ______
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  7. #7
    MobileAe is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: The Intent of Texting: Doing it Right

    Quote Originally Posted by Steez View Post
    But is it okay to text often, but just send flirty Push-Pull texts to maintain attraction and not really go into the emotional side? I text a LOT but keep it all very light...

    & I read a lot about what you're saying but my way works for me. Finding out little quirky things about her gives you things to tease her about in person, and it's not like you're sharing your life on text.

    Thoughts?

    YES! of ourse its ok to text often. Its not going to be the right method for every girl... and some girls it will work great! Just using the right style int he right situation.

    You can get into the emotional side and really make a connection too if you like. But I prefer not too as much, as my main goal is to escalate up into sex so I head in that direction more.

    Yes, text is great for getting in and learning more about her that you SHOULD be using when you meet up with her. To help bridge that gap from text to face2face..
    Helpful? "LIKE" my post + "THANKS" me...
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  8. #8
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    Default Re: The Intent of Texting: Doing it Right

    Alright then. So we have different styles. To each his own, but that doesn't make either of us wrong. We are both right, just different schools of thought, unless you would like to think dogmatically in that two opposing viewpoints cannot be mutually exclusive.

    So cool story bro. Write a thread on it.

    [Edit: But you are right though. I'm old school and don't pick up girls from my computer. I did when I was first starting out, but not anymore. I got off my ass and quit being a keyboard jockey.

    You can argue, but I won't respond. If you don't like what I have to say, don't read it. I'm sure you can help plenty of guys on here so why not do that? That's why I'm here, not to have a pissing match.]
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  9. #9
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    Default Re: The Intent of Texting: Doing it Right

    Yeah MobileAe I would really appreciate it if you could write a thread on it.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: The Intent of Texting: Doing it Right

    I think both of you are right to some degree. There are times when you Number Close a girl you've hung out with for only an hour at a club and you keep the txts going and build some comfort with her you can eventually get a meet up. On the other hand, like Cody was saying, if you know a girl from class or have the chance to see her more frequently it is best to not text so much. I remember when I used to have oneitis with a girl, and I would love to txt her everyday. I felt like if we back and forth txtd each other everyday she wouldn't forget bout me....!!! hah, fuck was I wrong!.... I also felt a rush of adrenalin/seratonin every time she txtd me.. I WAS ADDICTED to our txts. And when it came time to meet, I was cool, but AFC'ish /beta!!... I almost enjoyed the safety of our txts over our actual hangouts!! haha that was a long time ago.

    The girl Im seeing now, we hardly txt. BUt when we meet its fucking magic!!! SO, I guess if i know the girl already and Ive built rapport Im not gonna txt her much at all. Only to meet up!!

    Inter1010


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