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  1. #1
    shelleyadonis is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Unhappy Need help with the girl I date

    Hi I am new here but i've already got a problem. I have been dating this girl since the end of March. I like her a lot. She tells me she feels the same. She went back to her country in June while I am living in London. Now it has been a month since she left and we Skype and stuff very often. She also says that she's gonna come back here and we will go for holidays and stuff together.
    She hadn't been online since last Saturday and i was very worried. I didn't call her until midnight of Sunday. But when she pick up the phone after she know it was me . She said she gonna call me back can't talk and stuff and hang up on me very quickly.
    And then she start play some music on Facebook. But when i try to talk to her she didn't reply. After half an hour I called her but it was voicemail already. And then an hour later she left me a message on Facebook tell me that she is now visiting her friends and stuff will be back home on tuesday or wednesday. We talk very shortly like 2mins and she said she's gonna go out and go offline. And now it is Tuesday night she is still not back and it is like she disappeared .
    It is just so weird the way she acted. Do you guys think that there might be another guy or i am just being paranoid ? What should I do ? Shall I ask her about it when she got back or what? What if there is another guy ....囧
    When I am with the girl I really like I become stupid and don't have a clue about everything.
    And when I am with the girl i don't really like I feel like I got everything under control.
    What is it with me?
    FYI She is from Germany.
    Thanks a lot for your advices in advance.

  2. #2
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Need help with the girl I date

    There literally is so many possibilities, and some are not even having to do with you, that I would do my best to not think about this. What a lot of people don't realize is that whatever we put our focus/attention on we give it power. Scientists have literally found out that our own minds have an affect on reality itself. Again, scientifically proven. If you have ever heard of the Heisenburg Uncertainty Principle then you know what I am talking about. It works on an atomic level, but it can build up and even manifest.

    So focusing on if she is with someone else can affect your behavior towards her and even affect her behavior towards you as a result. Ultimately you risk pushing her away. Think of your attention as energy. Physical, tangible energy. The more energy you put into this then the more power it has. Mother Teresa said, "I will never attend an anti-war rally; if you have a peace rally, invite me." So even the fact that you are posting this on this website would be considered invested energy. So my advice is try to look on the brighter side of the situation, no matter how cliche it sounds. Hope this helps and good luck.

  3. #3
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Need help with the girl I date

    This whole Topic reeks of neediness. If you keep this up you're gonna lose any shot you have

    If she said she'll call you back, then wait for her unless it's been a week

    Please read this post I put up some time ago it applies to you - http://www.puaforums.com/how-talk-gi...html#post32986

    Is there someone else? I can't say. The thing is, it's usually not black and white unless you been together in an explicitly agreed committed relationship, you can't assume anything before hand. Get out, socialize, and get your mind off her for now.

    Oh and by no means confront her. Do not ask if there's someone else, just be fun and playful and make her want to be with you because you're great. If you force a decision now she's gonna run away
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  4. #4
    Mikalichov is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with the girl I date

    And you contacted her 4-5 times in less than 2 hours, definitely not something to do man :/

  5. #5
    Jefe is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need help with the girl I date

    Quote Originally Posted by BatMan View Post
    What a lot of people don't realize is that whatever we put our focus/attention on we give it power. Scientists have literally found out that our own minds have an affect on reality itself. Again, scientifically proven. If you have ever heard of the Heisenburg Uncertainty Principle then you know what I am talking about. It works on an atomic level, but it can build up and even manifest.
    Nonsense.

    Scientists have not found out any such thing. I have heard of the uncertainty principle and I am principally certain that it does not site in any way that 'our own minds have an effect on reality itself.


    Jefe!


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