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Thread: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

  1. #161
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    If a girl isn't responding quickly, or even not at all, you need to change your texts.

    Also don't forget to mix up the amount of time it takes for you to text back. Don't always wait for a while. Sometimes you gotta fire back right away & get into that rapid fire reply mode.

    But if a girl isn't responding, then she's most likely bored. Or just not interested.

    Make your texts fun. Be different from everyone else texting her.
    And if she still isn't replying.... Then let it go & text the next girl.



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  2. #162
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    Great posts gentleman!

    Also take your time responding, never seem too needy, also go a day or so without talking to her. If she is bored you may have to just move on, but I agree with the above poster, try to make texts more fun, if you have a iphone add the custom smile faces and various icons, women really dig those!

  3. #163
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    And if she still isn't replying.... Then let it go & text the next girl.
    I love her, she was very nice

  4. #164
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    Ok T-mal I am thinking about going in with this to break the Facebook barrier with the tinder Houdini girl! let me know what you guys think....

    "Hey Tinder buddy! you pulled a hell of a Houdini act on me before you got a chance to get my number!

    I don't normally message people on FB like this but it's a good year to start trying new things! so lucky for you!!

    Besides, you seemed ok to chat too, your spelling was SOMETIMES good and you only came across as 70% nerdy and definitely not batshit crazy!!

    There was just one thing I was gonna ask you though?......"


    I was gonna send that and if I get a reply to the final part I was gonna hit her back with.....

    "Can you teach me a magic trick? and I heard the rules are that Tinder buddies should be FB buddies so yes, I am ok with you adding me!"


    Anything you think I need to change on that approach?

  5. #165
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    The initial approach sounds pretty solid actually.
    That's right along the lines of how I'd go about it.

    The second part (if she responds) loses it's effectiveness though.
    A little tweaking is probably in order.

    I'd be more playful & flirty & go with something like, "If we agree to be FB friends, you have to pay for pizza... or one beer... or teach me a magic trick... Or, if you have any better ideas I'll listen to them... but I think mine are pretty sweet! "

    Not necessarily that exact message, but that's the general idea for keeping interest & being flirty.

    I say give it a shot!


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  6. #166
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    Thanks T-mal!

    I am gonna try out the FB break with this girl tonight or later on today see if it works!

    T-mal, Just a few things that I thought I would put out there after spending the last month gaming girls online and through text, these are a few hurdles that I have found and wondered if you could shed some light!


    - Should I keep banter up constantly? Or should i dip in and out of normal conversation and normal questions but pick up on things that she may say to banter on?

    - What to do when banter is hot at the beginning but after a time it turns cold? the joke gets old for example – I’ve been bantering with this girl about how we are stalking each other – stuff like “ hey move to the left a bit I can’t see you through the window anymore” or “wow its really cold outside in this tree by your garden tonight!” or” you have pizza? Can you leave some by your door I’m starving!” been doing this for a while but it seems as if the joke is starting to get old now and I’m not sure whether to keep up the joke or start being a bit normal and asking her normal questions.

    - I find myself thinking of something witty and funny to say ALL of the time with every message! With this girl for example, I read through some of the early messages and the banter from both of us was great as we were getting to know each other but now I’m struggling to think of things to say to her to keep her interested – I am getting the feeling that the interest is starting to fade as I am not getting as many laughs out of her and I feel I am starting to act as if I am trying to be funny all of the time, purely because I am trying my hardest to avoid normal boring questions like – “Evening!, how was your day anything exciting happen?” She is also getting tired in the evenings more frequently – whereas before we were texting till the early hours sometimes.

    - I am finding that by thinking of funny/banter/flirty things all of the time my natural personality isn’t quite getting through as I am avoiding the normal questions and after a few days of not texting I find it hard to open up another string of flirty/funny/banter type texts to keep her smiling and laughing. Sometimes I will just drop in a random fact like “did you know if you put headphones up your nose and open your mouth you make a human speaker?” shit like that but if i do that all the time I come across as a bit of a douche and that I’m trying too hard.


    For example, it might be a random Tuesday night I’ve not text the girl for a few days and conversation might go like this:

    Me: Are you watching this on channel (whatever)?
    HB: No I’m out with friends tonight.

    I might respond with something like: You need to ditch your friends and watch this......oh my god...don’t.....That is disgusting!! (i might be watching some crap boring TV show)

    OR...

    Me: I’ve had a crazy day!....
    HB: Me too I’m so tired, early night for me!

    I might respond with: OK night grandma don’t forget your crossword!

    OR...

    HB: Morning!

    I might respond with: It is? Oh my god! I’m late!!!

    What I’m getting at is should I respond like that ALL of the time? And I can only do those responses once so I have to think of new things all the time! PLUS It’s easier to think of witty things in texts cause you have time to think about a reply – when meeting them it’s harder cause you gotta reply quickly! So I don’t really want her to want the guy in the texts but not the guy in the flesh if you understand what I mean – I’m funnier in texts and a little more serious in the flesh – although i do banter if I think of something witty.


    - I am also wary, especially with any hot girls that if I banter too much I may offend them and they will bolt never to be heard of again!



    So far I have managed two F-closes with girls I have been chatting to online and through text and I have been on 5 first dates – all of these girls plus a few others I am still in contact with and working on at the moment. The girl mentioned above is actually one that I really like so I’m conscious of the fact that because I like her I might be panicking to impress her and make her laugh too much – it does bug me when she doesn’t text me back but I’ve been good and left it! Spoken to her on the phone a few times and I have arranged to meet up with her.

    Cheers

  7. #167
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    You never want to run a joke into the ground. There's no point in beating a dead horse right? Naturally a particular subject will get stale after a while, so don't try forcing it along. Let it run it's course & move on.

    Also, you're not gonna be able to keep being witty all the time. So,it IS totally cool to be more personal, intimate & genuine.

    I'm currently talking with a girl who is the sweetest girl I've ever met. She's super cute & possibly the most sincere person I know. I honestly REALLY dig this girl!

    We've been texting for a couple weeks now, and even though I'm still NOT EVER gonna send anything as lame & meaningless as "Yo!" or "What's up" or "How are you?" I DO send her texts that are dialed back a bit at times.

    So no, I'm not always trying to be funny...

    But here's the current scoop with her-
    She's actually sick & not feeling well right now. So last night I texted her & said " Ohhh, I'm sorry sweetie, that's no fun at all. I wish I were there to take care of you & help you feel better. xoxo"

    She replied: "Me too! I need help & care for sure. "

    My response: "Yes you do. And lots of TLC, cuddles & forehead kisses too. *smooch"

    Her reply: "Awwwe, how do you always know what to say to make me feel better? Thank you. xoxoxoxo"

    So yeah, I'm being genuine & more intimate here. Less "gamey" so to speak. But I'm still not reverting to sending lame texts.
    I didn't just say "How are you feeling?" or "I hope you feel better."
    Although that was the emphasis, I still made my questions & statements more interesting & emotionally connecting.

    Yes, you're gonna run into times where you'll have a "normal" interaction for a few messages.

    This past weekend we got into deep rapport subjects about our childhoods & things we like/ dislike. THAT is another example of when to dial back the humor & be more genuine, so you can make that connection.

    I also told her about playing Minecraft over the internet with my daughter on Xbox.

    Little things like that will help you make a stronger connection about REAL things, which is what you want if you're really interested in a girl on a more serious level & as a long-term relationship.

    *On a side note- I would normally do THAT in person. And save texting for light & playful stuff. But logistically, we're a little further apart & have crazy schedules, so we can't get together as often as we'd like right now.

    My guide is more for initial communication & flirting to build attraction when you first meet a girl; AND to help teach guys how to break out of that habit of being predictable & boring, so that they become more interesting overall.

    Don't worry about offending a girl by bantering... ESPECIALLY the hottest ones! (Unless they're completely lacking intelligence... then you may need to take a different approach.)
    But the smart, quick-witted girls are not easily offended. And if you happen to go too far, you can apologize & admit you went overboard.
    A girl will forgive you for being a man, but not for being a wuss.


    Other examples would be:
    Her: "Morning!"
    Your reply: "Good morning sunshine! Thanks for putting a smile on my face first thing! "

    Or

    Her: "I'm really tired, I think I'm off to sleep. Goodnight"
    Your reply: "Ok. Sleep well & sweet dreams. Goodnight Rainbow Brite."

    Another example would be- If you wanted to find out how her day was; instead of asking "How was your day?" or "Are you having a good evening?"... phrase it like "Heya, please tell me you had a phenomenal day! " Or "I trust you're having a splendid evening...?"

    Just add a little bit of playfulness into the mix.

    It doesn't have to slay her with side-splitting laughter all the time... you just want to connect with her emotionally as much as possible. And always stand out from everyone else.
    THAT is the key.

    You don't have to be a comedian, just interesting.

    So, don't be afraid to build rapport over text by getting into deeper subjects; just make sure the foundation of attraction is there first!

    Again, it's better to save deep rapport for in person situations whenever possible. But never hinder the natural flow / progression of your interactions if they're going well.

    The thing is, once you really get to know each other, you should absolutely be more in tune & intimate on a deeper level, so you don't have to be "clever" all the time.

    There are no absolute rules here... other than just "Don't be predictable & boring!"


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  8. #168
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    Awesome, thanks for this T-Mal - that definitely helps as I think i was getting quite put off by just acting normal and genuine in case that would cause a loss of attraction which is why I have tried to maintain this cocky/funny/cheeky attitude - which I have found does work but I think in some cases I have found if I keep it up I come across as a clown or a little immature and that seems to be a turn off.

    So I understand from what your saying its ok to be that genuine down to earth guy and its ok to as normal questions, but spice them up with positivity, as you mentioned for example:

    How was your day?

    should be: I hope you had a fantabulous day? etc

    What about questions about the things they are into? for example would you do this:

    so what are your hobbies?

    should be: So what do you like to do for fun?

    OR..

    what movies are you into?

    should be: Whats your favourite Comedy/action/horror? etc..

    OR..

    What music do you like?

    So what music gets you up on the dance floor throwing shapes?

    So what kinda music can you just sit down and listen too/relate to?

    OR...

    So whereabouts are you from?

    should be: So whereabouts are you spending most of your time causing micheif?

    OR...

    Do you have any brothers or sisters?

    should be:

    I'm guessing your the fun outgoing young one of the family?

    I'm Guessing your the more sensible caring older one of the family?

    I'm guessing your the generous quick witted "one-in the-middle of your family?

    yep, your definitely an only child!


    Am I kinda on the right track with spicing up mundane boring, but necessary questions to get to know somebody?

  9. #169
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    You're on the right track for sure... but don't over-think it so much.

    If you're feeling The Vibe & in a positive, playful mood, chances are everything is gonna be just fine.

    Try to avoid "interview style" questions though.

    And when in doubt, phrase it like an assumption, rather than ask a question. (Just like you did in the siblings example in your last post.)

    Other ideas would be like:
    "You totally seem like a rocker chick..." or "I'm guessing you're not originally from here,"
    or You're one of those 'chick-flick' types aren't ya! I bet your favorite movie is "The Notebook"

    If you're right, she'll agree & probably laugh.
    If you're incorrect, she'll just let you know what her actual preference is. No big deal.


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  10. #170
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    Another quick important point:
    You want to make sure YOU stand out from every other guy who may be texting her.

    You want to make your texts / texting style memorable & easily recognizable.

    I'll explain how powerful that is when you're able to do that.

    I just reconnected with a girl I was gaming almost 2 years ago. I have a new phone number now & she didn't have it in her phone. (She still had my old #) I haven't talked to her in well over a year.

    I texted her a quick message from my new number & didn't say who I was at all... no name, no signature.... JUST, "Hey little penguin, when was the last time you had a killer margarita? I'll be at The Cellar next Friday at 7:07. Come hang!"

    She texted back in less than a minute, "Wow! MARK!?? Holy shi!t how are you? Yes C u there!! "

    We had a little bantering after that; but the point is, when you stand out & don't do the same crap every other guy does, a girl will remember you.

    I didn't say, "Hey what's up, it's Mark. Remember we blah blah blah.... wanna meet up for a drink? Can you do Friday? What time is good for you? Does 7:00 work?" etc...

    That's what every other bozo would do.

    So, find a style that fits your personality & Anchor it in her brain! She'll always know it's YOU & she'll always look forward to your texts, because they're different & make her smile.

    Also- Don't "ask" if such & such time is OK with her... that's submissive & beta. Don't be afraid to call the shots. Tell her your plan & offer to "let her come along."

    Women are attracted to confidence. So display some confidence when you text her. And be confident enough to NOT be like every other douchebag.



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