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Thread: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

  1. #191
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    You were playing TOO hard to get & not pulling her in when the coals were actually smoking hot.

    You went a little overboard on being "Mr. Cool".

    She was all hot & in the moment before...
    But you ended up taking too long & she cooled down.

    (Been there & done that myself. LOL!)

    You just need to be more aware of what stage you're in & learn when to be in the moment with her.


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  2. #192
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    BOLLOCKS!! trying to be too cool for school!

    I have been trying to find a post you made T-mal when you asked a girl out and she couldnt make it then turned up - basically, I'm looking for examples of responses to girls when they can't make it after you arrange a date/meet.

    I get that you have to make out that it's no biggie and that she is gonna miss out and your gonna have a good time with or without her but what kind of responses can you use?

    examples

    "It's special offer at gino's pizza tonight! pick you up at 7:48pm!"

    HB: "really sorry but I'm busy tonight!"

    or

    "it's dominos pizza night at mine! see you at 7:24pm!"

    HB:"I can't make it tonight I'm waxing my shins!" (or some shit like that!)


    Also - you mention how to not send boring questions like "hey hows your day? or "Hey what are you doing at the weekend?" or "hey where are you from?"

    So when a girl asks you these questions what's the best kind of response - it't gotta be differentm I get that, check, it's gotta be funny or interesting check, but what if you've not had an interesting day? not all of us are bungee jumping or nose diving out of aeroplanes or hanging with celebrities and shit!

    Normally I respond like this:

    HB: Hey hows your day been?

    ME: My day has been absolutely copasetic! I managed to stay out of trouble too! I'm guessing you didn't though!

    But I'm using that an awful lot and the question "Hows your day been?" might get fired my way 2,3 maybe four times a month! unless something crazy does happen then it's hard to constantly think of responses - I consider myself quite observant, so if something stupid/funny or unusual happens i will use that but that doesn't happen all the time (i work in an office in the middle of england - it rains ALOT there aren't many exciting things happening during my days!, the other day I made something up like:

    "my day is brilliant! the secretary decided to spill my coffee in my lap!" even though that never happened - so i try to pick up on stuff but f*ck me i dread that goddamn question now!

    Another one is " where are you from?"

    being from England i normally reply with "I'm from the Las Vegas of Britain....{insert home town}" - in reality it's nothing like the LAS VEGAS OF BRITAIN so i use that as a funny witty reply.

    another one is - what are you up to this weekend?.....(groan) or have you had a good evening?.....(gun to my head)

    Did you have a good weekend?........uggg hhhh

    So I'm flipping the coin here and asking how/or what is the best way to respond to mundane shitty questions from girls?


    I understand when I ask those questions to women they are boring and instead i should make statements not questions - which i also find hard to do I dont think I've quite nailed that down yet (trying to turn - where are you from?? into a statement is hard work!!)



    **on a side not if you've got any tips on turning questions into statements that would also be much appreciated!**

  3. #193
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    When girls ask those questions, I always answer them.
    But then I'll shift the feel of the interaction by changing the subject & shifting gears to something else.

    If they ask, "How was your day?" I'll give them a quick (but truthful answer) & then say something like:
    "But that's enough about me, let's talk about my favorite person... OR we can talk about you if you'd rather do that. heehee!"

    Or I might say:
    "It was fantastic, thank you. It would be even better if you'd quit texting me!..... and come snuggle with me. "

    I never get asked where I'm from over text. That always comes up early on, before we swap digits.

    But the whole "how was your day / weekend /night" etc.. can be handled in a fun way like I listed above.

    If you haven't found out where a girl is from, you can say something like, "You seem like you're from xxxx to me. You've got that flair about you."
    If you're wrong, she'll tell you where she's actually from, but she'll LOVE that you said she has flair.

    And you can incorporate that same technique into any subject.

    "I bet you had an amazing day, you're giving off such an energetic vibe!"

    "I'm guessing your weekend plans have something to do with sandpaper, migits & a stick of butter... am I right?"

    (Or any variation of making a suggestion or taking a guess.)


    Sometimes you'll run into situations where a girl can't make it when you go for a meet up. If that happens, let it slide & try again later.

    If you KEEP getting resistance, then you haven't built up enough attraction yet... or the attraction you used to have is fading, so you need to regain that.

    If you've spent some time with her already, usually a mixture of flirting & rapport will do the trick.

    If you JUST met her, don't go for the meetup until you've built that attraction foundation, and don't get stuck in rapport.
    Rapport doesn't build attraction. It builds comfort which equals friendship.
    You DO need that eventually, but not at first.



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  4. #194
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    If I get into a situation where a girl cancels on a meetup I always go with;

    "My rule of thumb is if you cancel on me I wont' ever ask you again .... but, I kind of like you, so you might get a second chance, we'll see how it goes "

  5. #195
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    Love that post, TMal. Definitely gonna try out the midgets and sandpaper one lol. And I can absolutely see any woman being psyched when told she has flair, never thought to use that word.

    @ Sidewinder - I think you're in your head too much. It seems like as soon as you get that "Hey how was your day" text, you freeze, and probably stop breathing for few seconds. You get stifled and that causes you to not be able to come up with a good answer. Try to convert that energy into just breathing in, smiling and coming up with something.. Without thinking too much!

    "Absolutely excellent so far. Had brunch with a couple friends and splashed around in the hot tub a bit. You managing to stay out of trouble, hun?"

    I actually sent that today. After she answered I told her to send me a pic of what shirt she was wearing which happened to be a GIJoe tank top (awesome right?).. Her nickname for the day is now GIJane

    Just keep it fun and don't stay on one topic too long. Your responses don't have to be some mind blowing answer, just be interesting while not looking like you're trying to impress her too much. She is simply asking how your day was, hoping that you reply with something honest and interesting that displays how valuable you are. That's all.

  6. #196
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    The "midgets/sandpaper/butter" line was something I came up with about 20 years ago. (I was still playing in my band)

    One night after our show, I was hanging out at a table where a couple really cute girls were & started doing shots with them.
    They were having a party & invited me to come...

    That's when I looked at them & said, "OK... but I'm gonna need a midget, some sandpaper & a stick of butter."

    Needless to say, there was some look of confusion & mad laughter all at once. hahaha!

    It's just sooooo bizarre & random that it gets attention.
    I still use it from time to time.



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  7. #197
    kpf480 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    Thank you T Mal for all the tips and your ventures

  8. #198
    emanus is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    Hi. Met a girl a a bar yesterday, got her number. Never kissed her or anything.

    Havn't texted her yet and I was thinking i'm gonna ask her out right away in the first text, or atleast let her know I wanna se her. Is that a big no no? I don't really feel its necessary to do a bunch of texts to build up to the ask her out question cause I told her at the bar that we should totally get together and then I asked for her number and she gave it to me

  9. #199
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    You don't have to spend days warming her up over text...
    but I DO recommend to start flirting with her over text before you set a meet up.

    The sooner you flirt, the more comfortable she will be with escalation early on & you'll have less resistance to deal with.



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  10. #200
    emanus is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    Asked a girl out via text and got the answer "Haha, wednesday 19.37? Sorry i'm busy " What should my respone be? I don't wanna be chasing


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